A Harrowing Ordeal
by Enchantm3nt
Summary: Three Wardens are better than two. Surana and Cousland were both recruited by Duncan; this is their story. Focuses mostly on their friendship and the adventures they get up to. Includes some DA2 spoilers. Rated M for past sexual abuse, smut, violence and language. Latest chapter: Virgin sex scenes are so adorably awkward!
1. Twisted

**A/N:** Bioware owns all, I'm just using and abusing their characters.

POV's from Surana and Cousland mostly.

Rated M for past sexual abuse, strong language and violence, and smut later on.

Any form of feedback welcome!

[Edited this chapter 13/4/14]

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**Twisted.**

The night was cold; the air still. The white puffs of her breath dissipated in the fog that hung around her; clinging to her robes; consuming her. The water around her boat rippled as they cut through the blackness. Swirls of colour danced across the lake. She could see faces smiling up at her, their arms broke the surface; rising as wisps of smoke and fog to grab at her. She pulled herself away from the edge of the boat and sat back in her seat; their faces turned sad, then sour. The boat rocked violently and her hands gripped the edge of it; her knuckles turning white. Her stomach churned as the boat thrashed violently making the water turn white. The calm broke, the faces in the water screaming at her.

_'Come with us. Join us. Don't go back!'_

A spiked building cut through the fog in front of her; the Circle tower. The ferryman kept rowing, his face shrouded by his hood. She stared up at the black tower looming over her as the boat rocked from side to side.

_'Stay!_ ' The voices yelled.

She looked over the edge of the boat again, they were all crying, begging, their tears adding to the frothing water that surrounded her. She turned away again and their screams roared, she clutched her body with her hands over her ears trying to block out their cries. The tower in front of her was clearer now. She gasped as it shifted and turned into a great palace; a black one she knew all too well. _The Black City_.

Something shoved her boat and she crashed into the water. It wasn't wet or cold though; it felt more like silk wrapping around her; soft against her skin. She struggled as the faces surrounded her; pulling her down, she opened her mouth to scream but no words came out. She closed her eyes.

_I am in the Fade, I have to remember that_.

When she opened her eyes again she was standing in a circular chamber. The walls made of stone; decorated with rich tapestries depicting wars and marches from the past. In front of her stood a human; her huge blue eyes glittered cheerfully. She grinned at her and flicked her straight black locks behind her shoulders.

"I want to try!" Solona shouted happily.

She spun her staff in her hand; a tall piece of wood with an ornate purple orb at one end. She squinted at her, the orb grew bright and a bolt of lightning fizzled through the air. It exploded over Neri's barrier; sending sparks sputtering violently.

"Damn." Soloana complained.

An elf walked forward; his hair a frizzy mess on top of his long face, his ears flicked back as he clenched his fists.

"My turn." Titch said.

He pulled his arms back and the air buzzed as a massive slab of rock hurled into her. She batted it to the side with her magic. Titch looked at Sol, then to Jowan who was also stood watching. They nodded at one another before moving to surround her; their staffs all glowed; purple, orange, green. They were chanting; spells on their tongues. The air was charged around her and the faces of her friends began to contort.

Lightning, fire and rock smashed into her barrier; she felt the hard stone at her back as she staggered away from them.

Sol smiled sweetly at her. "Why don't we have some fun?" She said with a wink as she ran a hand down her body, stopping only to fondle her breast.

"A real mage wouldn't hide behind barriers." Titch admonished.

"Drop the barrier! Face us." Jowan growled.

She frowned at them, why were they acting like... She smacked herself. _I'm in the Fade!_

They all sneered at her then their bodies shimmered revealing a desire, rage and pride demon. She bared her teeth at them, and trapped the pride demon in a crushing prison, then she slammed her staff through the desire demon's chest; her fiery purple hair sputtered out as she fell to her knees clutching at the gaping hole. Neri slammed the rage demon into the wall with her force magic, it too crumpled through the floor in a puff of smoke. She turned back to the pride demon still trapped in her prison. She clenched her fists, squeezing it further. It roared in pain; shrinking to the floor under her constriction. It too died.

_Was that her test? Was it over?_

The room shifted; the scene changing. The whip cracked down hard; making her flinch. Blood trickled down his back; another red line across his white skin. She raced forward trying to help him but a templar smashed his gauntlet into her face; knocking her to her knees as the whip whistled and cracked again. This wasn't the first beating he had taken, or the last. But Ser Albert was ruthless and Anders still hadn't learnt his lesson.

"Any of you escape and this will be you!" The black haired templar bellowed.

The mages, watching on in hushed silence, tittered and shuffled away. Neri stayed. Albert grabbed Anders by his hair and kicked him to the floor before storming off; his plate clinking loudly with every thud of his footsteps.

Neri rushed to her friend's side. "Come on, I'll clean you up." She said.

He smirked at her. "You suck at healing."

She smiled. "I don't need magic to clean a wound Anders." She pulled him to his feet.

"I could teach you. I could teach you _any_ magic you wanted." He said as he ran his hands through her hair.

She frowned. That wasn't how the memory went.

_The Fade._

She slit the demons neck with her staff. Anders fell to the floor his hands grabbing at the blood spewing from the wound.

A voice boomed; cutting through the quiet of the Fade.

"Your magic is strong Neria." Greagoir's voice echoed.

"So you're punishing me for something I can't even control?" She heard herself say back.

"That's the problem. You must do your Harrowing to prove that you can control your magic." He said.

She entered a new area; the smell of dusty old tomes filled her nostrils making her smile. She lifted her hand to touch a book drifting through the air; the pages flickered gently.

"All men are the work of our Maker's hands. From the lowest slaves, to the highest kings." A voice whispered through the quiet of the library. It was her own voice, reading to the children.

"Even mages?" A little boy asked.

She walked toward the voices.

"_Especially_ mages." She answered. "We have the strongest connection to the Fade, to the Maker. Our magic is his magic. A gift for us all."

She remembered the children's faces lighting up; beaming with joy. "Those who bring harm, without provocation to the least of His children, are hated and accursed by the Maker." She heard herself saying.

She chuckled at that. How naïve she had been. The Maker didn't care for his children. The strong crush the weak and _He_ does nothing.

She clenched her fists; digging her nails into her palms. The pain always helped. Her hands felt wet; she opened them, staring down at the blood covering them. She gasped; realising she was in bed. She kicked the covers off; her body sweating as she stared down at the red covers where they had been white before. She rushed to her feet; the stone cold against her bare skin. She stumbled against the bookcase; a puddle of blood forming at her feet as it trickled down her legs.

"Neria! Sol cried out, catching her as she fell forward.

She opened her eyes and warm honey ones were staring back at her. _Anders_. Her breathing returned to normal as he smiled at her softly. His hand was warm as he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She cupped his face and ran her fingers across his stubble.

"Solitary is awful Neri." He whispered.

"You're out now." She said kissing him on the lips, he pulled her closer, deepening it.

She pulled away just enough to whisper, "you're free."

He pulled back further and glared at her. "How can you say that?"

"Anders..."

He shook his head. "How can you stand this place? The eyes watching our every move, the curfews, the rules. It's a prison. Aren't you sick of it all?"

_I have to stop him leaving, make him stay somehow._

"This is our home Anders." She said sadly.

"It's not mine." He huffed.

She could feel the tears filling her eyes. "You're leaving again, aren't you?"

He nodded. "To Denerim, you always wanted to see the ocean, come with me." He begged.

_I should have accepted his offer_; _I should have run away with him._

"I can't Anders. And you shouldn't either. It will be a year of solitary next." She said biting her lip.

"That's if I get caught." He smirked.

_He has to stay._I _need him to stay. But he won't listen. He never listens. But telling the truth will hurt him too much._

Her heart thundered in her chest; her ears deafened by the rush of blood. "Please don't leave." She sobbed. "_Please."_

He kissed away her tears. "Alright. I'll stay." He said.

She scowled at him, that wasn't right... She leapt from the bed.

_Damn the Fade!_

Anders melted away; leaving her to stand in darkness.

Her breath hitched as something rustled behind her. She turned to see the shinning plated figure of Ser Albert walking toward her.

"Gone again. You obviously didn't try hard enough." He sneered.

Her body trembled at the sound of his voice.

"I tried. _Please_, I tried."

He shook his head. "I told you to make him stay, _no matter what_." The templar said looking down at her; his grey eyes were cold and emotionless.

"I begged him, he wouldn't listen!" She cried.

He clutched her chin with his gauntlets. "Words are wind, actions are the only way to prove a point." He smashed his gauntleted fist into her stomach. She hunched over in pain; coughing and gasping for air.

"The mage will be punished appropriately, just as soon as we catch him." He boasted.

"Please don't hurt him!" She couldn't bear it.

"Did you suck his _cock_? Did you let him _fuck_ you?" He spat. Tears fell down her cheeks. "Perhaps you don't know how." He grabbed her and pushed her to the floor.

"Let me show you." He said as he forced himself onto her.

_No_.

She would not relive this. It was just a memory; a nightmare. The Fade was _her_ domain. She was strong here and he was _weak._

She hit him with a mind blast before throwing him off of her with a blast of kinetic energy. She had her staff in her hands ready to fight. Ser Albert drew his sword and laughed.

"My dear, you cannot defeat me."

She put a glyph of paralysis by his feet, making his movements sluggish as he tried to reach her. She lifted him up then slammed him back down.

"You're a monster!" She screamed at him. "They should have executed you, not discharged you!"

She cast a crushing prison on him; his body contorted; his face turning redder and redder. Her hands ripped through the Fade itself to tear his limbs from his body. He exploded in a bloody mess.

She took a shaky breath and wiped the blood from her face.

_I passed my Harrowing._

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**A/N:** Hope you enjoyed my take on the Harrowing, I always felt Harrowing's should be just that- _harrowing._


	2. Stranger

**A/N: **As always Bioware owns all, I just use and abuse.

[Updated 13/04/14]

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**Stranger.**

She walked across the green rugs that covered much of the floor; trying to bring a bit of colour to the cold stone surroundings. It was a sickly green though; nothing like the lush green of grass or trees. She had woken to Jowan leaning over her, worry etched on his face. Her relief at passing her Harrowing had quickly turned to annoyance as Jowan droned on about being made Tranquil. It's true, despite being older than a lot of apprentices he still hadn't been Harrowed, but that didn't mean they wouldn't eventually. She made a mental note to talk to him properly later.

She stepped into the First Enchanter's office; taking a deep breath as she did so. The sweet smell of vanilla wafted up through her nostrils. She glanced around the room taking note of the burning candles on the cabinet, flickering wildly and of the four people stood in the centre of the room. Two she knew well; Knight Commander Greagoir, stood tall, with his plate armour glistening in the candlelight and First Enchanter Irving with his long beard. The other two were strangers to her.

Greagoir's face was creased with annoyance; the wrinkles across his brow deepening. "We've committed enough of our own to this war." He said waving his hand.

"Your own." Irving huffed. "Since when have you felt such kinship with the mages Greagoir? Or are you afraid to let the mages out from under Chantry supervision? Where they can actually use their Maker given powers." He accused.

Irving was wearing his black and green robes today; that sickly green again and his hair was more dishevelled than usual. She got the distinct impression they'd discussed this many times before. The rumours about the war to the south had been spreading like wild fire through the Circle; the younger mages excited as the prospect of testing their magic against a real threat, the older mages more cautious; they were after all the ones the Circle was sending. But like everything in the Circle rumours and gossip was soon replaced by other rumours and gossip; with news of the outside world easily forgotten.

Greagoir's face contorted; the vein in his neck pulsing. "How **dare** you suggest-" He said pointing a finger toward the First Enchanter.

One of the strangers cut him off; a man with dark skin and a thick short beard. "Gentlemen please." He said calmly.

His armour was shiny silver; his hair black and his skin brown. She had never seen someone such dark colouring; everyone in the tower was a white as milk; starved of sunlight as they were.

"Irving someone is here to see you." He said pointing at her, his voice was gentle and kind.

She cocked her head to the side and gave them a half-smile. "Bad time?" She teased.

Irving regarded her with a smile; his eyes glistening with something that looked almost like pride. "Not at all child." He said. Irving turned back to the stranger. "This is our newest Circle mage."

The stranger looked at her again a smile touching his lips. "This is she?" He said glancing back at Irving.

The First Enchanter nodded. "This is she."

She was about to stutter out a reply when Greagoir cleared his throat. "You're obviously busy." He said, turning to leave. He halted at her side and glanced at her briefly. "Congratulations on passing your Harrowing." He said curtly.

She clenched her fists and whipped her head to look at him. "Did you know?" He quirked an eyebrow so she continued. "Did you know it would be him I had to fight?" Her hands were shaking at her side with contained fury.

She watched his adam's apple bob up then down as he swallowed. "It was always a possibility, given your past experiences." He said matter-of-factly.

She shook her head in disbelief. "And still you forced me to do it." He truly doesn't give a shit.

He took a deep breath and straightened. "Perhaps this is a discussion for another day?" He said before walking out of the door.

Irving coughed and Neri turned her attention back to him. "Where were we?" Irving said. "Ah yes, this is Duncan, of the Grey Wardens," he said. Neri's mouth opened slightly and Irving smiled at her reaction. She had read about the fabled Grey Wardens; they were fierce warriors who fought darkspawn and ended Blights while riding in on Griffons.

_Why is one here?_

"And this is his newest recruit," he continued. Neri glanced at the woman standing to the side, her arms folded across her armoured chest, she stepped forward and glanced at Neri with sad blue eyes. "Arietta Cousland." Irving said.

Neri's ears flicked back; Cousland's were a noble house.

_Why would she join the Wardens_?

She trailed her eyes up the curious woman; taking in the rest of her appearance. She was tall and lean; her skin was like porcelain and her cheeks were rosy, she had an upturned nose and her hair fell in brown tangles around her face as she nodded; Neri returned the nod with a slight smile.

_I love mystery books and this noble is quite the mystery._

Irving let out a small sigh as he leant back against his desk. "Duncan is here recruiting mages to join the King's army at Ostagar." He said. "No doubt you realised that by now." He added with a chuckle.

Duncan nodded his head once. "And we need all the help we can get." He said uneasily.

She stepped forward to stand in the circle with them; Duncan to her left, the noble opposite her and Irving at her right. "If these darkspawn have amassed into a horde big enough to need an army, then you fear a Blight?" She deducted.

Duncan's eyes gleamed at her as he smiled. "Smart girl." He ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, I am worried if we do not push the darkspawn back there may be a Blight." He said grimly.

Irving soughed. "Duncan you worry the poor girl, this is a happy day for her." She stifled a snort with her hand. It really wasn't.

Duncan looked to Irving with despairing eyes. "We live in troubled times, my friend."

"We should seize moments of levity, especially in troubled times." Irving emboldened. He stood and squeezed Neri's shoulder. "Your Harrowing is over, you are officially a mage." He smiled kindly.

This time she did snort. "So everyone keeps telling me." She said dryly.

Duncan stepped forward. "Irving tells me you are the youngest ever mage to complete her Harrowing, congratulations." He said.

She should have taken it as a compliment, curtsied and thanked him but she couldn't. The Harrowing was nothing but a brutal initiation into a club she wanted no part of. It was used to weed out the weak, but instead of showing off the cream of the crop, those who survive remain walled off from the world.

"Keep your congratulations." She said with a wave of her hand. "The Harrowing is nothing to celebrate."

"Neria." Irving warned.

She took a deep breath. "Sorry. It's just fresh in my mind right now." She tucked a stray curl behind her pointy ear.

Irving bent down and pulled some items from a box. "Whether you feel like it or not I am to give you this staff, these robes and this ring." He said passing her the items. "For you have earned them." She nodded. "Take your time to rest; you have been through a great deal." He said sympathetically.

"We will return to our quarters." Duncan said nodding to Duncan and Neria.

"I'll walk you there." She offered. I want to know more about these Wardens, she thought.

Her boots scuffed along the stone floor as she slowed her steps to fall in with Duncan's.

"So... Are you recruiting more Wardens? Or are you only here to seek mages for the army?" She said peering at the Warden through her thick lashes.

He regarded her with his dark eyes and a mischievous smile played on his lips. "Both if possible." He said before sighing. "I had hoped Irving would let me see some of the mages in action. He is protective of you all though. And Greagoir is not keen to see more leave." He stared ahead; lost in thought.

"How bad is it?" She said as she opened a door for them.

"I believe it is wise to prepare for the worst but hope for the best." He said as he scratched at his thick beard.

She hummed her agreement as they walked passed some snickering mages. She raised an eyebrow realising they were blushing at the Warden at her side. She glanced at him again; she supposed he was quite good looking; for an older man. He had kind eyes and his voice was firm but reassuring and she was certain lean muscle lay hidden under his armour and cloak.

She decided to ask him further questions. "The Ferelden Wardens are small in number are they not? Are you expecting reinforcements of any kind? Orlais would be the closest? Or the Free Marches?" She said rambling.

He smiled at her; his eyes glinting with cheekiness. "You seem to know a lot about Grey Wardens."

She shrugged a shoulder. "I do a lot of reading." She bit her lip. "I've read almost every book in this tower. There are a total of three books about the Wardens."

_Why do I feel the need to impress him?_

His lips twitched as he nodded. "What do you think of the Order?"

Her mouth opened and closed as her brows knit together. "I would be a fool not to respect it; none of us would be alive if it weren't for the work your Order has done; for the sacrifices you have made; I'm sure fighting darkspawn for a living is unpleasant."

He let out a chirp of laughter. "Indeed." He said. "If I may say, I think you would be an invaluable member to the Order."

She stopped dead in her tracks. "Really?"

He smiled kindly. "Irving speaks highly of you. He says you are a very talented mage."

"That means a lot, truly." She exhaled. "Unfortunately I'm not sure they'd allow me to leave. Not so soon after my Harrowing anyway."

His eyes twinkled. "Perhaps, perhaps not."

_Me, a Grey Warden?_

Her stomach fluttered at the very thought. She was itching to leave the Circle. She glanced over her shoulder; the noble was silent, following behind them, her eyes locked on the ground. Neri never was one for walking in silence.

She turned and started walking backward. "Cousland's are a noble house, from Highever, right?"

Arietta stared up at her and nodded.

"What made you join the Wardens then? I can't imagine why anyone would ever want to leave a castle! With servants and maids and-"

"I didn't have a choice." Arietta said coolly, cutting her off.

Neri blanched at that. _Good job, put your foot right in it!_

"Sorry." She said turning back around to walk at Duncan's side again. He glanced at her with sorrow-filled eyes.

Neri coughed as they reached the guest quarters. "Here you are then." She said opening the door to their chambers. A giant hound leapt on her; tackling her to the floor. She let out a very unlady-like groan as she hit the ground with the dog savaging her face with a very slobbery tongue.

"Blossom!" The noble shouted, pulling the rather large mutt off of her.

Duncan helped Neri back to her feet as she wiped the saliva off her face.

"I am so sorry. She doesn't usually..."

Neri waved a hand at her. "It's fine." She said as she stroked the dog. "What is she?"

The noble smiled. "A mabari warhound." Blossom let out a short bark, almost confirming what her owner said. Neri's eyes widened and the noble chuckled slightly. She had a nice laugh; soft and sweet. "You've never seen one?" The noble asked.

"No, only dog I've ever seen was a mutt, a scruffy thing with half an ear missing and fleas." She giggled. Bax had been his name; he hung around the Chantry in Lothering now and again, begging for scraps.

"Mmm, mabari are a smart dog; they bond with one owner. It's unusual for them to trust others so easily..." Arietta said as she eyed Neri curiously.

Neri cleared her throat. "Well, I shall leave you to... rest." She said as she gave them a slight bow and slipped away.

* * *

"Everyone is talking about them." Solona Amell said with a smirk. "What did they look like?" She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Oh you know..." Neri grinned.

Sol punched her playfully in the shoulder. "Come on! Petra said she saw you walking with them! I want details." Her blue eyes danced excitedly.

The Circle was boring; hence why Neri had read so many books. Visitors such as this were instantly all anyone could talk about.

"He was kind and calm, but there was a certain, I dunno, cheekiness to him? I can just imagine him as a mischievous rogue as a youth." She winked.

"Mmm." Sol hummed appreciatively. "And her?"

Neri turned into her new chambers; she was next to Sol's own quarters. She ran a finger along her own desk before she dived onto the soft bed squealing happily at not having to share a bunk any more.

Sol sat with her grinning "Well?"

She sat up and contemplated the noble. "A pretty thing. Proper and courteous like all nobles. She has sad eyes though."

Sol licked her lips. "Sounds like she could use some fun then." She joked.

Neri burst out laughing. "She doesn't strike me as a rug-muncher, Sol."

"Swords, rugs, what does it matter if it's just a bit of fun?" She said playfully.

Neri snorted. "You know what nobles are like more than most, they want their partners to be pure bred and perfect."

"My family never were very good at that side of things, couldn't resist those dirty mages." She said giggling, Neri couldn't help but join in.

Sol grew quiet. "It's good to speak with you... like this, like old times." She said sullenly.

"I know." Neri said pensively. "I'm sorry I haven't been..."

"You don't need to apologise Neri, Maker, everything you went through... I didn't even notice!" She said shaking her head, her hands clenched in her lap.

"Sol, we've discussed this." She cupped her hands with her own. "I was very good at hiding it. So please, let's not linger on such things, not when we can gossip about delicious Grey-"

"Neri." Jowan cut her off.

She turned to regard her friend standing by her desk. "Hello again Jowan." She said tilting her head. His hands were restless at his sides. "Something the matter?"

"You recall what we discussed earlier?" She nodded; how could she forget? Fears of being made Tranquil ran rampant through all the apprentices. "I need to speak to you privately." He said glancing at Sol with an apologetic smile. Neri glanced at Sol as well; the raven haired mage gave her a smirk as slid from her bed and sauntered off down the hall. "Actually, if we could go elsewhere..." He said.

She followed him to the Chapel; where he introduced her to a Chantry initiate; a priest in training. She was a pretty thing; with a petite face and red hair and equally red lips. Jowan explained that they were dating.

"My condolences Lily." Neri teased. She recalled Jowan mentioning seeing someone months ago, but that was at a time when she was grieving the loss of her unborn child, making her a little _preoccupied_.

Jowan rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Very funny." He said.

Neri snorted. "I'm very happy for both of you, but why are you telling me this?"

Jowan paced. "They're going to make me Tranquil." He blurted. She was about to respond when he continued. "They'll take everything I have from me, my dreams, hopes, fears, and my love for Lily!" He sobbed.

These were not the usual worries she heard him moan about regularly, this was a very real truth.

Her brows knitted together. "Jowan, how do you know this?"

Lily explained she had seen the document with her own eyes, signed by Greagoir and Irving. He explained that there were rumours that he was a blood mage, but in truth it was because he snuck around at night to see Lily. All mages did it; quick trysts in the corner or the closet. There were more hiding places in the Tower than there were mages.

She hated the very idea of Tranquillity, she would not let them harm her friend.

"I'll help." She reassured him.

His shoulders sagged. "Thank you!" He started to pace again. "I need to escape. I know Anders told you how he got out a few times, you must know a way?"

"There are several ways, none of them easy. You won't get anywhere with that phylactery still in the basement though."

The little vial of blood they took from all mages when they first arrived at the circle could be used to track escaped mages no matter where they went. The Chantry's own twisted version of blood magic.

"Yes, we need to destroy it."

"What do you need me to do?"

* * *

She already had the rod of fire they would use to burn their way through the phylactery chamber door, but she felt uneasy about it all still. She had no problems helping a friend... But she needed to know the Rite was definitely happening first. Jowan and Lily could just be using her to escape for all she knew.

Irving looked up from his desk as she entered his office. "Ah good, you returned Duncan and Arietta safely to their quarters?"

She nodded. "I did."

"Good, I am glad you met them." He said smiling at her.

She smiled back. "Me too." She chewed on her lips while she mulled over how to broach the next topic. "Irving I have a question."

She asked him about the Rite and Jowan.

"Greagoir has eye-witness testimony to Jowan using blood magic." Irving said with a sigh. "If I were in charge, perhaps there would be another way, but you know what the Chantry is like..."

"I do." She said coolly. She decided not to press the topic; their minds were made up and so was hers. She would help Jowan and Lily. She would save her friend. She wasn't stupid though... "Another question."

He nodded and rubbed at his chin. "Would I be allowed to join the Grey Wardens? In the future- say tomorrow?"

His eyebrows disappeared under his messy hair before he started to chuckle. "I had hoped you might like their Order."

"Trying to get rid of me?" She smirked.

"I do not know if the Wardens will give you happiness, but it is a way out of the Tower, one of the only ways." He said with a glimmer of sadness in his eyes.

She leant over his desk and looked him in the eyes. "It isn't your fault, First Enchanter." She said.

He looked up at her with unshed tears. "Perhaps, but it is my job to look after you all and I failed you."

"You did not. The Chantry failed, Greagoir failed." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter." She stood back up. "Let me join them and we'll be even?" She said only half-joking.

"I will do what I can. Duncan could always conscript you..." He gave her a knowing look. She smiled before exiting.

She walked down the halls with a spring in her step, hopeful for the first time in many, many years.

"Oh, hello, I, um, am glad to see your Harrowing went smoothly." Cullen stammered as she passed him.

She grinned. "Thanks, Cullen."

She always liked the templar, he was kind and he had been there for her in her hour of need; punching Ser Albert square in the jaw before dragging him away in chains. It helped he was easy on the eyes too and his nervousness around her was adorable.

"They picked me as the templar to strike the killing blow if... If you became an abomination." He stuttered. "It's nothing personal, I swear." He said raising his hands. "I'm just glad you're alright." He smiled.

Another reason she hated the Harrowing; templars waited over your unconscious body while you battled in the Fade; alone. If you took too long or became possessed they killed you.

She bit her lip. "Would you have done it? Struck me down like that?" She said, curious.

"I would have felt terrible about it but... I do as I am commanded." He said as he pulled his hands behind his back.

He was on a leash just like her. She nodded and told him it was okay before wondering off.

She wanted to make one final stop before meeting with Jowan. She knocked on the door to the guest quarters.

Duncan answered, chuckling as he let her in. "Back so soon?"

"I guess you made a good first impression." She teased.

Arietta was sat in a chair on the far side; the mabari came over and sniffed Neri's hand before lying down by the fire.

"Actually, I was hoping, well, I can't tell you exactly what will happen but... If something goes wrong tonight." She stalked up and down the room. "I was rather hoping, I could join you when you leave tomorrow?" She said as she wiped the sweat off her palms on her new robes.

"Irving seems keen for me to join you, convincing Greagoir might be interesting but well if things go tits up tonight I may very well need to be conscripted..." She rambled off.

The Warden's eyebrows disappeared under the canopy of his thick locks. He regained his composure and smiled. "Very well."

She stood with her mouth open. "Just like that, no tests or trials or-"

"The tests will come later. Joining the Wardens requires great sacrifice, but you seem eager to leave this place and I could use a talented mage like yourself." He said seriously.

"Thank you." She said as she ran forward and hugged him.

He guffawed then patted her on the back. "Go, do whatever it is you must do." He said.

* * *

They reached the phylactery chamber without too much difficulty, Jowan smashing the little vile onto the floor; freeing himself. Escaping on the other hand went tits up as she had feared.

"We did it, I can't believe it!" Said Jowan "Thank you, we could never have-"

"So, what you said was true." Greagoir said, entering with a few templars and Irving himself.

Balls, she cursed.

"A Chantry initiate conspiring with a blood mage." He said looking at Lily. "I'm disappointed. You seem shocked, but fully in control."

He turned around "Not a thrall of the blood mage then. The initiate has betrayed us. The Chantry will not let this go unpunished." He said firmly.

As the only one with a way out Neri stepped forward; putting herself between the templars and her friends. "Greagoir, this isn't Lily's fault. It was my idea." She lied.

He spun toward her, his face red. "What were you thinking? Newly Harrowed and already breaking the rules!"

Irving shook his head. "You could have told me what you were planning." He said disappointingly.

I might as well go out with a bang.

"No, I couldn't. The Rite of Tranquillity is disgusting. It would be more humane to kill mages than to turn them into those husks." She argued. "But your precious Chantry doesn't want the blood on their hands!"

"You don't care for the mages!" Jowan shouted. "You just bow to the Chantry's every whim."

"Enough!" Greagoir said, holding up his hands. "As Knight-Commander of the Templars, I sentence this blood mage to death. And this initiative to Aeonar."

The templar's stalked toward their group. "Th-The mages prison." Lily said backing away from them.

Neri stepped between them again. Readying her spells. "Greagoir, Jowan is not a blood mage! You can't execute him. And Lily had very little to do with this, you can't just lock her up!"

They shoved her to the side.

"Please, please, no." Lily sobbed.

Neri was about to shield Lily when Jowan screamed at them.

"No! I won't let you touch her!"

He drew a knife she hadn't seen before; she flinched away, expecting him to fight with it. Instead he stabbed his palm and blood sprayed out; it surrounded him. She gagged as the metallic smell filled her mouth; she reeled back as the blood swirled around him. He blasted the templars with is and they all fell to the floor unconscious.

Neri's ears were ringing, she couldn't hear what Jowan and Lily were saying, but she could see the priest was crying, backing away from Jowan as he waved his arms around frantically.

He betrayed me. He was a blood mage this whole time. How had I never noticed? Did I think him too stupid or clumsy or foolish?

_I can't let him escape, she realised sadly._

Tears streamed down Lily's face. "I trusted you." She said with her back against the stone.

"Jowan." Neri said, her voice cold and calculating. He turned to face her, his hands still dripping red. "Why?" She said shakily.

"I-I'm sorry." He said desperately.

She looked at the ground for a moment before looking back up to face him.

"No. I am."

She threw him across the room. "I can't let you escape."

She slammed his head against the floor. He struggled back to his feet and slit his wrist, she put her barrier up but his magic was too strong it cut straight through it; sending her flying backward.

By the time she was back on her feet he was gone.

The others were waking up so she helped Irving to his feet.

"I knew it, I knew it! Blood magic!" Greagoir sneered. "I never thought him capable of such power." Greagoir said shaking his head.

"I did not see that coming." Neri said lightly.

Greagoir turned his anger on her. "A Blood Mage is free because of your actions! You need to be punished."

She rolled her eyes. "You're the ones trained to fight blood magic, you failed to stop him. This is your mess, but of course you'll just give the templars a slap on the wrist." She said bitterly crossing her arms.

"How **dare** you-"

"Knight-Commander, if I may." Duncan said as he strode toward them. "I'm not just looking for mages to join the King's army, I'm looking for mages to join the Grey Wardens too."

Ah her hero, come to conscript her.

"Irving spoke highly of this mage, and I would like her to join our ranks."

"Duncan, Neria has assisted a Maleficar and has broken the Circle rules. " Irving said, he glanced at her and gave her a slight nod. "However, we cannot stop you from conscripting her."

"She put the entire circle in danger!" Greagoir argued.

"It is a rare person who risks all for a friend in need, I stand by my decision." Duncan said.

* * *

**A/N:** Next up, Arietta!


	3. Ruin

**A/N: **Belongs to Bioware! Oh how I wish it was all mine. Time for our favourite noble's POV. Enjoy!

[Edited 13/04/14- Super long chapter, but can't split it without changing every other chapter after this. Apologies!]

* * *

**Ruin. **

Arietta stuffed her belongings under the wooden seat of the boat as her mabari, Blossom, jumped in and sat in front of her; resting her head on her knees. They had been together for years; child and pup, completely inseparable. She was a comfort Arietta desperately needed after Howe's betrayal. The boat rocked as Duncan stepped in, less so for their newest companion; the elven mage Neria. She didn't have much with her; just her staff and the robes she was wearing. She was a pretty little thing; with big brown eyes, framed by thick lashes and her long curly hair fell half way down her back. She was a curious creature and a chatter box too. The Ferryman began to row and the mage's hand was tapping on the side of the boat, Arietta wasn't sure if she was nervous or excited, but for the first time since they had met she was silent. The templars raised the portcullis. The fresh night's air whipped around Arietta's hair; bringing in the cold with it, she rubbed her hands together for warmth. The mage next to her gasped as they paddled under the gate, she was looking up at the stars; her mouth set in a huge grin.

Arietta glanced over at her. "You've never seen the stars before?"

Neria looked at her and gave her a lopsided smile. "The last time I saw the night's sky was on this boat, going to the tower. That was 12 years ago."

"Oh." Arietta said as she too looked up at the night's sky.

Arietta loved to stargaze, she couldn't imagine not seeing the night's sky for a few days let alone years; how horrible life in the tower must be. Looking up at the sky now reminded her of her most recent time stargazing. She had gone out with her brother; Fergus and his son Oren, to camp in the castle grounds. They had spent half the night finding shapes in the twinkling stars. The sky above her now looked duller somehow; further away perhaps? Or maybe it was a reflection of her frame of mind. She felt a shell of her former self; barely living any more. The only thing keeping her going was the need to find her brother, and the need for justice.

_Or is it vengeance I crave?_

The mage dunked her hand into the icy water of the lake and yelped at the temperature. She was like a child experiencing everything for the first time; it was both adorable and strange to see. They reached the other side and stepped out onto the wooden dock and started climbing the hill.

Duncan's armour rattled as he strode up the hill briskly. "This way." Duncan said as they reached the peak.

Arietta turned back to see Neria with her boots off wiggling her toes in the grass. She frowned at her. "What are you-"

"I missed grass." Neria smiled blissfully.

Arietta snorted. "Are you going to stop and smell every flower too?"

Neria looked up at her and grinned. "Maybe just the first one, or two."

"Come, we must make haste." Duncan said as he trailed off down the other side of the hill.

* * *

They made camp by an old oak tree; its big branches providing some cover against the cold winds. The dead leaves littering the floor provided some extra cushioning, but like everything else in Ferelden they were wet and soggy. Lighting a fire had proven too difficult; all the wood in the area was too damp from the recent rains.

Ari sat against the tree trunk; keeping watch. The night was quiet; Duncan's gentle snores the only noise she could hear. She was grateful he had saved her, but she resented him too. She should have dragged her father and mother out of there, or stayed and fought with them. Running away was a coward's move, and she was no coward. She exhaled deeply. Blossom was asleep next to her, she absent-mindedly stroked her fur. It was the silence she hated the most, at least when she kept busy she could keep their faces out of her mind; block out their screams. But sat like this in the gloom of early morning her thoughts began to wonder back to that awful night. She squeezed her eyes shut; not wanting to think about it. She stood up and walked the perimeter; hugging herself; her thick fur coat offering some protection from the cold.

When she returned to the camp Neria was sitting up, looking panicked.

"You okay?" Arietta asked. The mage was panting but she nodded as she ran a hand through her hair. "Nightmare?"

"Yes." The elf stood up and faced her. "I'm awake now, if you want to get some sleep? I can keep watch."

"I don't sleep much anymore." Arietta said. They stood awkwardly for a time, Ari rubbed her hands together; no matter what she did she couldn't get warm.

"It's the same thing isn't it? That forced you into the Wardens and stops you from sleeping?"

_Perceptive little thing isn't she?_

There was no point in lying to her; they were going to be sisters in the Order soon.

"It is." She said as she stared down at the ground.

The elf cocked her head; much like her mabari would do when trying to figure something out. "You probably don't want to talk about it," Neria mumbled.

"Right again." She breathed out heavily.

Neri glanced behind her and grinned. "The sun is rising. We should have a good view of it here." She moved to the other side of the clearing. "Would you like to sit and watch it with me?" She smiled.

"That sounds nice." She moved to sit with her.

The sun was just breaking through the trees when Duncan groaned and rolled over. "Dawn already?" He squinted at the sun.

"Afraid so." She said sympathetically.

"Aww, did the sunshine wake you from your beauty sleep?" The elf stuck her tongue out at the old Warden.

He huffed as he got to his feet. "You don't get to look like this at my age without it." He joked.

They all laughed.

"It is beautiful though." Neria remarked.

Ari hummed her agreement. "You have to enjoy the little things in life." She said philosophically.

"Speaking of which, we should eat." Duncan said as his stomach growled.

* * *

"You start a fire like this." She said; showing Neria how to rub two sticks together. "Or at least that's how it's normally done, these are still too damp, the morning fog hasn't helped."

"Maybe you're just not very good at rubbing sticks." Neria mused.

"At least I'm trying." She laughed. "Do you have any fire spells?"

Neria scrunched up her face. "The last time I tried a fire spell I set my friends hair on fire."

Arietta couldn't help but run a hand through her own hair. "Okay, maybe don't try that again then."

_What sort of mage can't use fire spells?_

"What spells do you know?"

Neria smiled. "I'm a force mage."

She raised an eyebrow at that. "I haven't heard of such magic."

"I'll show you." Neria stood up and cracked her knuckles. She lifted her hand towards Arietta and suddenly her feet were no longer touching the floor.

She gasped as she was lifted higher and higher. She was above the trees; the fields stretched out beyond; greens and yellows basking in the golden sunlight. It was beautiful. Neria dropped her suddenly and a scream escaped her lips. Just before hitting the floor Neria stopped her fall.

"Maker!" She cried her heart in her throat.

The mage was laughing as she lowered her gently to the ground.

"Your face. I'm sorry." She said still laughing. "I used to do it all the time to the other mages." She said with a wistful look in her eyes.

Ari knew that look well and decided to change the subject. "Ever been in a fight before?"

"Not really. We were only taught to control our magic, never to truly wield it. Why?"

"We will be fighting darkspawn, possibly in close proximity. You need to know how to defend yourself if something gets too close."

"I have mind blast that can stun enemies and strong barriers that will protect me. But I have no skills at hand to hand combat if that's what you're asking."

"That staff of yours has a blade on the end; I can teach you how to do some real damage with it, if you like? But first we really should get this fire burning, with any luck Duncan will be back with breakfast soon."

* * *

Neria was spinning her staff; she looked quite ridiculous; with her short stature and the staff's height.

"That's good; now, I'm going to get in close, try to fight me off." Ari said as she danced toward the elf.

Neria held her staff in her right hand; holding out in front of her threateningly. Ari grinned as she charged in, the elf swiped the staff and Ari rolled under it and poked the elf in the ribs.

"Dead." She said as she leapt back to her feet.

Neria groaned. "You're so fast."

"I am. Now, again."

Ari got in close again, this time she slapped the elf's face. "Dead."

"Ooowww, was the slap necessary?" The elf said rubbing at her red cheek.

"You're not focusing. Again." She called out.

And again she swept through her defence this time punching her in the gut.

"Ughh." The elf said as she bent over in pain. "You're enjoying this."

"Maybe just a little. A real fight will be harder and those hits will be with steel." She helped the elf stand. "Again."

"Perhaps it is your turn to be tested." Duncan mused as he prowled toward them.

Ari cocked her head. "You sure you want to take me on?" She said with a grin.

"The food will be ready soon, but this won't take long, so I don't see why not." He shrugged, but his eyes were gleaming with mischief.

_I love a good challenge._

"Oh, you are so on."

"Let me get comfy first." Neri said as she sat down on her cloak; her legs sprawled out on the grass.

Their metal rang out across the clearing, as their blades clashed together once more. Ari was grinning ear to ear as she dived in yet again, his blade moved to intercept once more and she rolled to the side before he could counter with his own strike.

"Getting tired yet old man?" She taunted.

"Not a chance." He wiped the hair from his face. "Haven't you heard about Grey Warden stamina?" He said with a wink.

She stuttered and her step faltered at his insinuation, he slammed his blades into her knocking her on her ass. She rolled to the side before he could end the fight.

The fight went on longer than planned, Arietta's speed and agility matching his experience and stamina. Neri cheered on from her spot in the grass; hooting and howling.

Finally, Duncan bested her with a feign followed by a flurry, it was a perfectly executed and Ari ended up with his blade at her neck; completely disarmed.

"Yield." He said sternly.

She nodded her head and he pulled the blade away.

"He sure showed you." Neri said with a chuckle.

* * *

"I never liked him much; tall fellow he was, with squinty eyes and a long nose." Duncan said as they set around the camp fire. "He was no better than the rest of us; just another cut purse."

"I can't imagine you as a thief." Arietta said as she dunked some bread into her soup.

"Mmm, I was quite good at it. It saved my life once actually, but that is a story for another day." He said smiling. "He always took whatever I had on me; food, coin, it didn't matter. So, one day I decide to get my own back. I stole enough coin to buy some chocolate and I melted it down and poured it onto a handful of rat droppings."

Neria clapped her hands and bounced up and down. "Oooh. So they looked like chocolate raisins? That's a good one!"

He chuckled. "As expected he came along, pushed me to the floor and dug through my pockets; where he found the bundle of chocolates. He stood over me, grinning, taking a handful; he rammed them into his mouth. Seconds later he was retching into the gutter with me stood over him telling him to never touch me again."

"I guess he got his _just desert_ then." Neria said laughing at her terrible joke. They all groaned and had a good chuckle.

"That's nothing; in the Circle me and this other mage would prank the templars and other mages all the time. We did it all; smoke bombs, stealing clothes after showers, swapping people's beds around, altering the food... It got so bad they started calling us the terrible duo."

"Oh, I do hope you're not planning on pranking us like that. I hold a grudge something awful." Ari said with a weary smile.

Neri looked at her with a crooked grin. "No promises."

Duncan glanced over at Ari. "If she does, we'll just have to get her back." He said smiling.

* * *

"So, I was thinking, today it's my time to show you both up." Neri said her eyes glistening.

Ari laughed. "Want to take another beating do you?"

Neri gave her a cocky smile. "You're under the impression you'll be able to touch me."

"Hmm, are you going to throw us around with that force magic of yours? If so I think I'll pass."

"Darkspawn have magic; how many mages have you battled against? This will be good practice; unless you're chicken?" She said grinning.

Ari considered that, she really hadn't battled many mages before, there was Owin at Highever; their healer, but she had only trained against him a handful of times. And she certainly wasn't a chicken. She glanced over at Duncan and he nodded.

"Alright. We'll both take you on." Duncan said.

Neri wasn't bluffing. Her barriers were damned impossible to break. For half an hour now they'd been stabbing, jabbing and kicking at her barrier but it would not budge.

Neri exaggerated a yawn. "I could do this all day."

Ari wiped her brow, it was dripping with sweat. "Okay, okay, you win."

Neri grinned and dropped her shield; Arietta was about to run at her but instead found herself flying through the air. She slammed into the ground with a thud. When she opened her eyes she saw a flailing Duncan flying straight for her. With a squeak she rolled to the side; just in time.

They were both on the floor rolling in pain as Neri approached them.

"Again." She said with a grin.

* * *

She was looking forward to meeting the other Wardens. They were such a fabled order; the strongest, bravest and fastest men and women. She felt truly honoured to be considered for their ranks. When she had spoken to Duncan at Highever, before the betrayal, she had asked about joining the Order. She didn't want to stay in the castle while her brother fought down south in the war. She should have been at his side, she should have been _doing_ something. Well, she got what she wanted, she was joining the Wardens. But the cost had been too great. Her entire family butchered; her castle lost to that monster; Howe.

They were approaching Ostagar now. That filled her with both joy and dread, at the thought of seeing Fergus again; her brother didn't know, she would have to break the news to him. _They were all dead;_ lying in pools of their own blood. She hadn't been able to save them. Oren and Oriana were killed as she slept soundly in the room over. Her own father and mother had been alive, but she couldn't save them either. That made her angrier than anything else; she hated feeling helpless. It's why she did everything she could to help the people of Highever, spending much of her time in soup kitchens or clinics. She had persuaded some of the other nobles to do more for the common folk too. There weren't many situations she couldn't handle; either by talking or fighting her way out of it. She usually excelled at everything and was used to getting her own way. But crouched down in the pantry, with her father and mother, begging them to leave with her; words had failed her. She couldn't fight all of Howe's men either. The only option had been to flee and that made her blood boil.

The ruins of Ostagar appeared before them. Despite her sombre thoughts she had to admit the ruins were incredible; even with their age and poor upkeep, many of the towers and walls were still standing strong. It was a lovely day with the sun was shining brightly above them, Blossom was walking a long quietly at her side; panting happily. Neria was staring up at the tall walls and towers in awe. Her childish wonder for everything had actually helped Ari a lot on their journey south. Despite her world crumbling around her, the elf had helped her to feel _human_ again. She had felt the warmth of the sun on her skin as they watched it rise that morning and food began to have flavour once more. She still wasn't back to her normal self; she wasn't sure she ever could be. But she had _hope_ again.

They walked under an arch and several soldiers walked forward, her breath caught at the man in golden armour in the middle of them all. King Cailan. Duncan was just as shocked by the royal greeting. She had only met Cailan once before at his wedding to Anora in Denerim five years ago.

"I was beginning to worry you'd miss all the fun." He said with a smile to Duncan as they shook hands.

"Not if I could help it, your Majesty."

"Then I'll have the mighty Duncan at my side in battle after all. Glorious." He said triumphantly. "And these are your new Warden recruits?" He moved to stand in front of Arietta. "You are Bryce's youngest; I think we met briefly on my wedding day?"

She nodded. "We did your Majesty, I am Arietta." She curtsied.

He smiled warmly at her. "And will your Father be joining us soon? I have not heard any news."

She knew the questions would come but she still took a deep breath before answering. "No, Your Grace. He is dead, along with everyone else in Highever."

His eyebrows shot up. "Dead!? What do you mean?"

"Arl Rendon Howe has shown himself a traitor your Majesty" Duncan said. "Had we not escaped he would have killed us both and told you any story he wished."

"I-" He shook his head "Can scarcely believe it." He was pacing up and down. "How could he think he would get away with such treachery?" He stood in front of her again "As soon as we are done here I will turn my army north and bring Howe to justice, you have my word."

"Thank you, my King." She lowered her head out of respect.

"I imagine you will want to see your brother, I'm afraid he is out scouting at the moment, I do not know when he will return. Although I don't suppose you are eager to tell him the news."

* * *

The King had greeted Neria too and they had all entered the camp, the elf had wondered off to speak with the mages so Ari had been left to find a Warden by the name of Alistair. She'd spent some time getting familiar with the camp and had spoken to a few people before finally finding him.

"What is it now? Haven't the Grey Wardens asked more than enough of the Circle?" A mage was saying to an armoured blonde man.

"I simply came to deliver a message from the Revered Mother, ser mage. She desires your presence." The mage continued to argue with him, accusing the blonde man of harassment. "Yes I was harassing _you_ by delivering a message." He drawled sarcastically.

The mage scowled. "Your glibness does you no credit."

"Here I thought we were getting along so well. I was even going to name one of my children after you.._the grumpy one_." The mage left in a huff. The blonde man turned to her. "You know one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together."

She folded her arms. "There are people dying because of the Blight..." _My family among them_.

"Oh I know, sorry. I didn't mean to be disrespectful. You must be Duncan's new recruit? The one from Highever wasn't it?"

"Yes, I am Arietta."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Alistair. As the junior Grey Warden I'll be accompanying you when you prepare for the Joining."

Duncan had only mentioned the Joining once or twice, he acted very shady when Neria or Ari questioned him about it and the mage had questioned him a lot. She had so many questions about everything. She also knew a lot too though, she told them she had read every book in the tower and even some that mages weren't supposed to read. Arietta had seen the endless rooms filled with bookcases. Life in the tower must be very boring.

"I look forward to working with you." She said politely.

He gave her a half-smile. "You know it's just occurred to me that there aren't many women in the Grey Wardens. I wonder why that is?" He said looking at her with smiling eyes.

A smile played across her lips. "You want more women in the Order?"

"Would that be so terrible? Not that I'm some drooling lecher or anything." She cocked an eyebrow and smiled at him. "Please stop looking at me like that." He said.

She wasn't going to let him off so easily. "You're in luck, Duncan also recruited a female mage from the Circle."

"Oh good, more mages I can accidentally piss off." He chuckled before changing the subject. "So I'm curious, have you ever actually encountered a darkspawn before?"

She shook her head. "No, not yet."

He nodded then grimaced. "When I fought my first one, I wasn't prepared for how monstrous it was. I can't say I'm looking forward to encountering another."

They walked back to the camp together. His chainmail rattled as he walked, she couldn't help but run her eyes over his muscled body. He was attractive, that much was clear. She liked his sandy blonde hair, that came to a cute little quiff over his forehead. She shook her head. Now was hardly the time to be admiring her colleague like _that_.

They reunited with Neria and Duncan, the other recruits Daveth and Ser Jory were with them now too. Duncan explained that they need vials of darkspawn blood for their Joining, they were also to look for an old Grey Warden cache, deep in the Wilds, that contained treaties that may prove useful over the next few weeks.

* * *

It was very stop and start as they wondered through the dense fog; it seemed to sit upon the swampy ground; unmoving until they traipsed through it then it stuck to their clothes instead. They had to use senses other than sight to warn them of approaching attacks as the fog swirled around them limiting their vision. Arietta was keeping her eyes peeled as the trudged through the thicket, looking out for any sign of soldiers. They had met a soldier near the gates who claimed to have been part of a larger party that was ambushed. He knew nothing of her brother; which was good, in that her brother probably wasn't dead in a ditch somewhere but bad as she still didn't know where he was. Jory had started to worry that they would be the target of the next ambush, Neri had shut him up with an insult about not being worthy of his knighthood if he cowers to easily and Alistair has reassured them all that they would at the very least get a warning before imminent death.

The darkspawn were about as horrific as she had imagined them; if not worse. Their skin was black; in some parts it was rotted to the bone and hanging off in a most repulsive fashion. They had no lips either which left them with a demented smile that revealed their razor sharp teeth. Their group had been doing well; only receiving minor injuries here and there which Alistair quickly cleaned up. They had all the darkspawn blood now too. Witch each of them carrying a vile of the viscous blood in their packs.

Arietta wiped the sweat from her brow and heard Neria coo from behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to see the dainty little elf picking up a brightly coloured flower. She scoffed. "I thought you were done smelling flowers?" She said as she folded her arms.

Neria glanced up at her and grinned. "This is for a good cause, I assure you, my lady." She winked at her as she sauntered back over. "There was a sick mabari at camp, this can heal him."

"Oh, okay then." Ari said with a huff. "Just try to stay close okay?" She said as she shouldered her pack again and moved forward through a grassy clearing.

Arietta could feel the darkspawn closing in; they all halted in a circle waiting for the figures to emerge through the fog. There was a sharp pain in her shoulder and she found herself lying on her back with an arrow in her shoulder. She winced in pain as she went to pull it out. Alistair charged off into the fog and disappeared.

Neria crouched at her side. "Don't. Let me." She said as she placed a hand on her chest the other on the base of the arrow sticking out of her. "Ready?" Arietta nodded and clenched her jaw. The elf pulled it out and Arietta stifled a scream.

Arietta gritted her teeth, "I wish you knew how to heal."

The elf gave her a lopsided smile. "Sorry. I'm pretty good at clearing up a wound though. Mostly from all the injuries I caused. And for other reasons..." She trailed off. Ari cocked an eyebrow at her; there it was again, the hints of her dark past.

_What happened to this strange elf?_ She wondered.

"Oh, it took me a while to realise where my _talents _were." Neri said as she finished bandaging her shoulder. Alistair jogged back into view and she could no longer sense any darkspawn close by.

"Are you alright?" He asked as he gave her a hand up.

She smiled at him and nodded.

They found the cache; empty. Instead an apostate had greeted them; a woman; scantily dressed in very low-cut black robes, adorned with golden a golden necklace. Her black hair was pulled tightly up and her fringe hung over one side of her face. She had striking yellow eyes and had a very strange way of speaking. They had all been cautious of her; Jory and Daveth claiming she was a Witch of the Wilds. Neria had done away with caution and introduced herself, in return they had learned the Witches name; Morrigan. After a brief conversation they found out that her mother now had the treaties. They were meandering through the wilderness to reach her now.

Neria was walking at the witch's side asking her a million and one questions. "_Do you live in a tree?" "Who is your mother?" "Did you make those robes yourself?" "Can you shapeshift?" "Can you turn into a human too?"_

Arietta looked up at Alistair as they walked side by side. "Do you trust Morrigan?" She asked him.

He chewed on his lip, "No. This could be a trap. Be ready for anything."

She nodded and glanced back at Jory and Daveth who were walking slowly, glancing around at every little noise nervously. "The sooner we leave this place the better." She mumbled.

"I don't know about better." He said looking down at her with what she was certain was concern. "But yes I do want to get back to the camp." He peered up at the cloudy sky above. "It's getting late."

She stared at the ground for a moment then spoke, "Can you tell me more about the Joining?"

He started to frown and shook his head. "I'll just say it's a secret for a reason. I-" He looked down at her and his cheeks flushed a little. "I hope it goes well for you." He said as he cleared his throat and moved on ahead. She frowned at his back; this Joining sounded ominous indeed. She didn't particularly like the fact they needed darkspawn blood for it but perhaps that was just to test their metal against the monsters.

They approached a hut in the middle of a small clearing; the fog was completely clear in this area, revealing a shallow creek and some trees and an old woman. Morrigan started to introduce their group to her but the old woman cut her off.

"I see them, girl. Mmm. Much as I expected." She said with a wave of her hand. Ari frowned, how could she possibly...

"Are we supposed to believe you were expecting us?" Alistair said with a laugh.

The old woman eyed him and smiled. "You are required to do nothing, least of all believe."

After a very long winded conversation that involved riddles and other ramblings from the old woman and a lot of whining and worrying from her own companions they had the treaties and were being led back through the Wilds to Ostagar by Morrigan. They reached the main gate just as the sun was setting, just in time to prepare for the battle.

* * *

They stood in a secluded area away from the main camp; it had a marvellous view of the setting sun, just disappearing over the Wilds behind a wall of fog and cloud. The sky was a dark blue; glowing faintly with colours of yellow and orange.

Jory's armour rustled as he fidgeted yet again. "The more I hear about this Joining, the less I like it."

They all let out a collective sigh. But it was Daveth that spoke first. "Are you blubbering again?"

Neria shrugged. "There's no point complaining."

The knight started to pace, waving his hands around as he fretted. "My wife is with child, if they had warned me what would be required... It just doesn't seem fair." He said shaking his head.

Neria folded her arms and rolled her eyes. "You _did_ sign up for this."

Duncan walked in then; his skin a dark brown against the silver shine of his armour. He glanced at them all and nodded. "At last we come to the Joining." He said as he walked to the centre.

Arietta stood with her mouth wide open as he explained that they would be _drinking_ darkspawn blood. She could hear her mother's voice scolding her, telling her she'd swallow a fly. She snapped her mouth shut.

"This is the source of our power." Duncan explained.

Alistair nodded grimly. "Those who survive the Joining become immune to the taint." He glanced at Arietta as she stared at him with bulging eyes. He cleared his throat. "We can sense the darkspawn and use it to slay the Archdemon."

Arietta found her voice. "Those who survive?" She asked through the lump in her throat.

Duncan looked at her sullenly. He nodded and explained. "Not all who drink the blood will survive, and those who do will be forever changed. This is why the Joining is kept a secret. It is the price we pay."

They all let that sink in for a few moments. Arietta could tell Jory and Daveth were not happy at the idea. Her eyes found Neria's and the elf straightened. "Let's get on with it then." She said.

Arietta took the chalice, she glanced over at the two bodies lying on the floor; Daveth had died clawing at his throat and Jory had drawn his sword... Duncan... Duncan cut him down. She frowned down at the red liquid swirling in the goblet. She took a deep breath.

_I could die here, right now and Fergus would never find out, he wouldn't know..._

Neria put her hand on her shoulder and smiled. Ari could see the fear in her eyes though. She lifted the chalice to her lips and drank. She nearly gagged as the burning liquid poured down her throat. She fell to her knees and the darkness took her.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for the follows! The battle of Ostagar is next, woooo!


	4. Charge

**A/N: **Belongs to those lovely Biowarers.

* * *

**Charge.**

Neri had done a lot of reading about Grey Wardens; nowhere did it mention having to drink darkspawn blood out of a stupidly oversized chalice to become one. The taste had disgusted her; she really tried to think of something worse but nothing came to mind. It still lingered on her tongue; the bitterness making her want to gag. Arietta had survived the Joining too. While unconscious they had both seen the Archdemon; a huge black leathery dragon with teeth the size of Neri's arm. The thought of having to fight and kill that thing made her head swim.

But they were Grey Wardens now and she was free, sort of. Leaving the tower had been incredible. The stars were dazzling and nothing felt better than grass between her toes or the smell of flowers, or seeing the sun rise over the dewy hillside. Her good mood had been soured somewhat by the darkspawn and the deaths of Jory and Daveth though. Arietta was clearly annoyed at Duncan for killing Jory, but a coward like him probably wouldn't have survived the Joining anyway. Daveth had died slowly; choking to death in agony. At least Jory's death was quick.

They had spoken with the King and his General; Loghain about the night's battle. This Loghain was a legend in his own right. He had won more battles than Neri had eaten hot dinners. He looked every bit the cool and calculating General the stories described him as; with his icy blue eyes and long black hair. The King looked the complete opposite; blonde hair and warm eyes; his face always grinning. He wasn't taking the battle very seriously, but perhaps that's what the soldiers needed; optimism.

The King's army was to draw out the darkspawn into the gorge. Arietta and Alistair were told to light a beacon in some tower on the other side of the bridge so that Loghain's army would know when to flank the darkspawn. It was a pretty good plan as far as Neria could tell. Surprise attacks were always good, unless you were the ones being surprised. The King had asked for Neria personally; Duncan claiming her shields would be invaluable. It was her job to protect the King, no matter what; _no pressure_. Arietta and Alistair had been upset that they weren't going to be the in the thick of the fighting, but Duncan had told them they all had a part to play.

"Good luck." She said to her fellow Wardens.

Arietta gave her a thin smile. "And to you. Don't let them get too close. And if they do, knock them over the head with that staff of yours." She said.

Neri gave her a smirk. "I hope you can find some dry sticks to light that beacon with. It would be awkward if we lost this battle because you two baboons couldn't start a simple fire." She joked. "See you on the other side." She gave Arietta's dog a quick chin rub and told her to look after her owner, the dog barked happily at her; wagging her stumpy tail.

The army lined up across the gorge. Hundreds of soldiers, archers, mages and hounds all waiting for the King's call to fight. Neri was standing with Duncan and Cailan as they patrolled up and down. In the distance shadows started to move; the darkspawn were approaching. Neri's heart was pounding in her chest; her palms sweating, she wiped them on her robes.

_I need a good gripe on my staff._

She would be lying if she said she wasn't utterly terrified. But that fear would keep her alive, she hoped. She didn't fancy being the youngest Warden recruit to die. Her gravestone would say something embarrassing like '_Grey Warden for all of five minutes; at least she tried_.' That's if she even got a grave; it wouldn't really matter though, nobody would be able to visit it to place flowers down; all of her friends were stuck in the Circle after all. She decided not to dwell on such depressing thoughts.

The fires on the horizon were enough to distract her as they turned the sky a bloody red. The air stank of fear; it was dripping off of the men around her.

_Oh, like I smell any better._

Raindrops started to fall and lightning flashed overhead. She hadn't felt the rain on her face for so many years, it was cool on her flushed cheeks and helped her to calm down a little; a reminder that she was free.

_I will not die here; not after everything I have survived so far._

The darkspawn charged; kicking up mud as they ran across the valley.

_There are so many. _She gulped.

She could see genlocks and hurlocks and a few ogres; many, many more were out of sight beyond the tree line though.

King Cailan raised his arm. "Archers!" They lit their arrows and aimed them. The darkspawn were nearly halfway across the field now. Their arrows flew through the air; lighting up the sky with orange, red and yellow. Some darkspawn fell but more took their place.

"Hounds!" the King ordered, the mabari ran forward.

"For Ferelden!" He shouted boldly; the soldiers charged in.

* * *

They sprinted across the bridge with Blossom just ahead. The battle below had just begun. Huge slabs of fiery rock were slamming into the bridge; throwing her off-balance and threatening to send them all tumbling to the floor below. She pressed forward with Alistair hot on her heels. Men were arming the catapults but they were getting bombarded with missiles and debris. She could see the Tower ahead of her.

They approached and a soldier ran down the slope to greet them. "You're Grey Wardens aren't you? The tower... it's been taken!"

"What are you talking about man? Taken how?" Alistair demanded.

"The darkspawn came out of nowhere." The soldier said with breathlessly.

_Maker, _they did not have time for this! The longer they took to light it the longer it would take for Loghain's army to charge in. Every second meant more deaths. One of those deaths could be Duncan or Neria or the King himself.

"We have to clear it out!" Arietta shouted.

They charged through; Blossom and Alistair drawing the attention of most of the darkspawn so Ari could pick them off from behind. Blossom let out a terrifying howl; stunning a few and Ari stabbed her blade into the back of a hurlock's skull. There were bodies everywhere.

_How did this happen? Maker, I hate surprises_ _and this is the worst kind of surprise._

They cleared the outside of the tower and headed inside where more darkspawn awaited them. Alistair walked straight into one of their traps; the fiery explosion throwing him back. She helped him to his feet; luckily he wasn't too badly hurt. Ari made herself disappear and stabbed the emissary in the face. There were darkspawn around every corner and behind every door. She could feel them tickling her mind; it was a very uncomfortable feeling. It felt intrusive and made her skin crawl, it wasn't even particularly useful now as there were darkspawn _everywhere_, leaving her unable to distinguish between those in front of her or above, on another floor. They raced into another room a catapult fired at her, she ducked but not enough, the fiery projectile caught her in her shoulder; sending her flying.

"Come on, you can nap later." Alistair quipped as he helped her to her feet. Her armour had protected her from any real damage so she charged another hurlock.

* * *

She ducked as a hurlock swung its shield over her head, she stabbed up with her staff; impaling it deep in its tainted flesh. Her blood was rushing through her ears; drowning out the clashing and the screams and grunts of people and enemies dying around her. Even the scratching of the darkspawn pressing down on her mind was blocked out as she focused on her immediate surroundings and the King only.

She lifted a few more genlocks into the air before slamming them to the ground. She was using a protective barrier on Cailan; she would have shielded Duncan too but he insisted against it; the King was her priority. A hurlock alpha barrelled toward her; its huge axe dripping with blood. It snarled at her and she winked at it before blasting it in the chest with her magic, throwing it down into the mud before she slammed her staff through its eye socket. A shriek appeared behind her, clawing at her back but her rock armour protected her. Duncan stabbed the shriek in the chest; killing it. He nodded at her and wiped the sweat from his brow. She checked on the King, his movements were slow; his hulking armour tiring him out. She moved closer to him and put a few glyphs of repulsion around him. All the while she kept looking up at the beacon; wondering what was taking so long.

* * *

They made it to the top floor, finally. A massive ogre was bent over eating one of the guards; it turned to look at them with blood still oozing from its mouth. It stepped forward to face their group; the ground shaking with every step. It let out a massive roar; saliva spraying everywhere. Her breath hitched at the sight of it.

Alistair let out a war cry and charged in. Some of the other guards charged too. Blossom stayed close to her as they moved around to flank it. She switched to her bow trying to find a few weak spots; this thing had to have some, _somewhere_. She landed an arrow in its eye which made it mad; it swept its arm across the floor knocking down the soldiers, Alistair dodged and brought his sword down on its arm which only made it madder as it slammed its fists into the ground.

Arietta managed to get close with her daggers drawn, she sliced at the back of its knees and it collapsed to the ground and tried to swing round and grab her but she leapt up its arm and onto its back and impaled one of her daggers in its shoulder; making it roar again. Alistair was at its front; slamming his shield into its head, the mage that had joined their group had frozen the ogre in place and the other guards were slicing and stabbing at whatever they could. Instinct took over and she jumped up; using her blade as a step and landed another dagger into its neck. She jumped off as the ogre tried to grab her again and Alistair tossed her his sword; she took a deep breath; her heart thudding in her chest, then she ran at the ogre, jumped up its body and buried the sword deep into its skull.

They raced over to the beacon and lit it. The fire caught quickly; the huge yellow flame burning brightly. They smiled at each other. Sharp pain suddenly pierced her chest. She looked down to see an arrow protruding from her lung. More pain tore through her body and the room faded to black.

* * *

She could see the fire burning brightly to her left; Alistair and Arietta had succeeded in lighting the beacon. But the minutes ticked by and still Loghain hadn't charged in. She was limiting her magic to just protecting the King and keeping enemies away from herself. She had a nasty cut on her thigh from a genlock who got a lucky jab in. Another hurlock was pressing her hard; swinging its axe wildly. She wasn't used to this much physical activity; the training Arietta had given her on the road had helped but it was not enough to handle a battle such as this.

_What the fuck were they all thinking? Who the fuck puts a mage in the middle of the battlefield?_

It swung again, instead of swinging the blade though it brought the butt of the axe down on her head; she fell backwards. Everything kept turning white as she shuffled away from the approaching hurlock with her staff still in her hand, but she couldn't focus enough to think of any spells. It lifted his axe to take the final blow, with all her strength she lifted her staff and stabbed it up through the crotch; it started gurgling on its blood, its axe dropping to the floor next to it, and she pushed her staff in further, finally the hurlock fell to the floor. She stood and put her boot on its body and yanked her staff out of its groin; it was covered in thick reddish black blood.

_Disgusting._

She looked up; searching for the King. She noticed an ogre charging toward something, she scanned the area but couldn't see past all the fighting. Then the ogre was holding something golden.

_"_No!" She screamed as she ran forward.

It had the King in its hand. She tried to put her shields back on him but the ogre's grip was too strong. It roared loudly, the gold turned to red and the ogre flung the King's body to the floor.

_Fuck._

All around her people were dying; to her left a hurlock cut the head off of a soldier, in front, three genlocks stabbed a man then sliced his belly open before crushing his head with a mallet. She was frozen in fear; this was no longer a battle, it was a massacre. She looked at the ogre again, it was roaring in pain as Duncan dug his daggers into its chest, over and over. The ogre fell to the floor and Duncan limped over to his dead King. She pushed her way through to him.

"Loghain betrayed us! We have to sound the retreat?" Duncan stared up at the beacon; all hope lost from his eyes. "Duncan!?" She begged.

She screamed for everyone to retreat; some of the soldiers turned to run, but the darkspawn were giving chase. It was hopeless. Nobody would escape the horde at this rate. Someone needed to buy them some time. She grimaced as she realised she would have to be the one to do it. She put her barriers up and cut her way through to the middle of the gorge.

She downed her last lyrium potion and threw down glyphs of repulsion and paralysis before focusing everything she had on the space in front of her. It was a sea of death; stretching down the gorge as far as she could see. She put her hands forward; sensing familiar tug in her stomach as a shield wall materializing at her fingertips, it spread out, higher and wider, and she imagined it growing across the entire width of the battlefield. It obeyed.

The wall kept out the darkspawn as she screamed at the soldiers to run; some darkspawn were still on her side of the wall but she had halted most of the horde from pursuing the living. Her arms were trembling as she held the wall in place and her brow was dripping with sweat. The darkspawn amassed on the other side; they were smashing on it, throwing projectiles into it; everything they had was pressing against the wall.

She blocked it all out. She went to her place of calm, just focusing on her breathing, slow, deep breaths.

Her head was pounding, pulling her out of her meditation, she wasn't sure how long she had been doing this for but she was out of mana now and Duncan was at her side, he seemed to realise she couldn't hold it any longer.

"It has been an honour fighting at your side, Duncan." She said through gritted teeth as her magical barrier started to crumble at the edges.

"Likewise." He said sadly.

Her arms dropped to her sides; shaky and aching and her barrier crashed to the floor. She took a deep breath as drew her staff one final time.

The darkspawn charged.

Duncan was fighting at her side; cutting darkspawn after darkspawn down in a wild fury; a terrifying blood lust. Neri stabbed and swiped her staff but it was no use; she saw the blow coming, but she had nothing left; her mana and strength gone.

It took her in the side of the head.

* * *

**A/N:** Ha! Weren't expecting that were you?


	5. Struggle

**A/N: **All Biowares. Changing things up a bit though.

[Edited 10/04/14]

* * *

**Struggle.**

She could hear a noise above her; the flutter of wings. She opened her eyes and daylight blinded her temporarily. There were birds circling overhead. She turned her head slightly and reeled back in horror; gagging as she did so. Duncan's bloody corpse was inches from her face. Crows had pecked out his eyes and maggots were crawling out of the sockets.

_Fuck._

She reached her hand out tentatively and brushed her knuckles over his forehead. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

She winced in pain as she tried to move away; her leg was swollen and hot to the touch, probably infected. Her head was sore as well, she felt like her skull had been split in two, maybe it had. She remembered the axe taking her in the side of the head; it must have just glanced her. She was incredibly lucky to be alive, Duncan obviously hadn't been so lucky.

_Maker have mercy on his soul, on all their souls._

She tried to think, she needed to get out of here but images of the battle flashed through her mind. The King being crushed in the ogres hand, the sea of bodies that littered the floor, Duncan fighting at her side as her barrier collapsed. She pushed those memories down, she was alive, and she needed to _stay_ alive. She could hear the grunts and sardonic laughs of nearby darkspawn. She peered over a corpse and could see a hurlock and two genlocks not far away. They were looking through the bodies; scavenging.

She tested her magic; she had some mana but not nearly enough to fight them. She twisted onto her tummy and winced at the pain in her leg. She strapped her staff to her back and began to crawl across the sea of dead. She had to rest a lot; even moving a few feet left her exhausted and her leg made movement difficult. The entire valley was spinning but she dragged herself forward; refusing to look down at the faces of the dead below her. Climbing over armour and weapons ripped her robes and left cuts and scrapes down her front but she would deal with that later.

_Not much farther._

She kept looking over her shoulder to check on the darkspawn but they were distracted by some shiny armour.

She finally got out of sight of the darkspawn and stood up; very slowly. She was shaking and sweaty and gasping for air but she was standing. She inspected her head wound; her hand touched crusted blood, she examined her leg next; there was a deep gash in her thigh; a lot deeper than she had realised in the heat of battle and it was bleeding again. She only had a few bandages on her but she wrapped them around her leg to stop the bleeding. She chewed on some jerky and drank what little water was left in her canteen.

_I should have checked the corpses for supplies._

But she wasn't going back, not now; no, forward was her only option now.

_I have to get to Lothering._

It would be a few days at least and with her injuries it could be longer. But she took a step forward and another; each step taking her away from Ostagar and the nightmarish things she had witnessed there.

* * *

Arietta opened her eyes; the edges of her vision fuzzy for a moment before finally clearing. She was in a bed with a roof over her head.

"Ah, you awaken." The witch from the Wilds said to her.

Ari's brow furrowed. "Morrigan?"

_How in Thedas did I end up here..._

Her eyebrows danced up to her hairline. "You remembered my name." Morrigan gave her a half-smile. "No doubt you are wondering how you got here. My mother saved you after your battle went poorly."

That made Arietta's brow furrow further. "What happened?" She could remember lighting the beacon, late but at least they had reached it before being overrun by darkspawn.

Morrigan cleared her throat. "It is good you are already lying down, Loghain quit the field, I'm afraid your King is dead along with much of his army."

Her mouth hung open as she tried to find words. "Why would he do such a thing?"

Morrigan shrugged a shoulder at her. "I do not know, but your Grey Warden friend is outside, he is sick with grief."

She bolted upright and winced at the pain flaring in her chest. "You mean Alistair?"

"He will be glad to see you up and about."

He was indeed glad to see her, if not a little shocked; honestly did he have no faith in her at all? Morrigan's mother; Flemeth as they found out her name was, had saved them because she didn't want all the Grey Wardens dying at once. They had spoken with her for some time discussing what they would do now. It was eventually decided that there best bet would be to use the treaties and to seek out Arl Eamon in order to gather an army to stop Loghain and the Blight.

She couldn't wrap her head around why Loghain would betray Cailan in such a manner. It made her sick to the stomach to think of them all looking up at the lit beacon but seeing no army marching in to save them. Neria and Duncan... and so many more were all dead because of him. It seemed to be a recurring theme recently; age old friends betraying people she cared about. Flemeth offered them Morrigan to help them with their rather daunting quest. Reluctantly, Arietta had accepted her help, she still didn't trust the witch but they were sorely lacking a mage.

They left Flemeth's hut promising to keep Morrigan safe and began their trek through the Wilds. She found herself talking with Alistair about the betrayal; he was clearly hurting, barely speaking a word as they made their way through the morning gloom.

Alistair clenched his fists. "He was Maric's son. I just don't understand, how could he be so heartless?"

"I don't know Alistair." She said sullenly. "It's not even the first betrayal I've witnessed this month either. I'll never understand such a thing."

"What happened exactly? Duncan..." He winced at the mention of his friend's name. "He said your family was attacked?"

"We were. Arl Rendon Howe." She spat.

She explained how Howe had lied about his forces being delayed before sneaking them in during the night. How he slaughtered innocents in their sleep; butchering Oren and Oriana and so many others. She found herself explaining every gory detail to him. By the end of her story Alistair had his arms wrapped around her as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"The king promised to-" She hiccupped as more tears slid down her face. "Now there won't be any justice. Unless we somehow stop Loghain..." She shuddered against him as another fit of sobs tore through her. He stroked her back whispering soothing words in her ear.

She pulled herself away and wiped at her cheeks; furious she let herself fall apart so easily. "Sorry." She said.

He handed her a handkerchief. "I promise it's not used." He smiled. She laughed and took it; blowing her nose in the most disgusting manner but she was past caring.

"Thank you." She said forcing herself to smile.

"We'll figure something out, things won't ever be how they were but maybe we can try to pick up the pieces."

That would have to be enough.

* * *

She must have passed out at some point because she woke with her face in the dirt and a mabari sniffing her ear. She lifted her hand and stroked the side of his face. She lifted her face groggily

"Blossom?" She frowned as the hound in front of her came into focus; it was the hound she had helped save, his dark brown ears flicked back as he barked happily at her.

"Hello boy." She rasped.

She coughed trying to clear her throat. _I need water _she thought as she looked around.

The hound jumped around happily and started whining as he wondered over to the side of the road.

"Is there water there boy?" She croaked.

He bounded back to her side and nuzzled her arm, she put her weight on him as she stood and limped over to where he had stood. She could see the water glistening in the afternoon sunshine. A grin spread across her face. "Good dog." She scratched the back of his ear.

She slid down the bank very ungracefully and crawled to the water pooled at the road side. She dunked her hands into the water and cupped them then put the cool liquid to her lips. She moaned as she drank for a few minutes and the mabari did the same. She scrubbed her hands and face down a bit next then took a deep breath as she prepared to life the skirt of her robes. She pulled back the layers of fabric and gasped at the now oozing wound on her thigh. She rinsed it as best she could before wrapping it up with her remaining bandage.

_Anders would groan at the shoddiness of this._

There was nothing she could do though. Her head was still throbbing painfully, almost like an ogre was stamping on it. She turned to look at the dog now sat on his haunches next to her panting heavily with his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.

"So what do I call you boy?" She said to him. He barked.

Through the throbbing in her head she started to feel darkspawn approach and he started to bark some more.

She shrugged. "Okay, how about Barkspawn?" She said grinning as he leapt up and licked her face before barking happily.

She used her staff to stand back before climbing up the bank back to the road. Barkspawn followed his tail wagging rapidly. She gritted her teeth as her leg sent a spasm of pain up her body.

"Okay, let's get to Lothering."

* * *

"Watch your back brother!" Carver shouted as Hawke ducked under a hurlock's sword. The darkspawn had them completely surrounded. Carver swung his greatsword in a wide arc, toppling more of them. Hawke brought his twin daggers down on the Hurlock's chest, blood gurgled out of its mouth. "There's too many!" Carver cried.

"We did _not_ survive that bloody battle to die now!" He shouted back as he slit a Genlock's throat. They were stuck against a cliff, trying to clear a way through but they were two against a dozen. He winced in pain as he landed on his leg hard, they had pulled out the arrow but his leg was burning still, it was because of his leg that they'd become trapped by the darkspawn in the first place. His movements were sluggish and he couldn't flank them fast enough limping as he was. Carver jumped into the air, slicing her Hurlock in half as he brought his sword down.

The remaining darkspawn all fell to the floor, rolling on their backs as they were dragged through the dirt.

Hawke frowned and stepped forward watching as the darkspawn struggled against whatever forces were pulling on them. "What the fuck?" He said.

The darkspawn were clawing at the ground, crying out in pain as their armour began to twist and bend, crushing them. Blood sputtered into the air of a few and suddenly there was a brown mabari tearing into the neck of the last one left alive. Hawke and Carver stood watching with their mouths open completely dumbfounded.

"Look! Over there." Carver shouted. A blonde mage fell to the floor just down the road from them.

Hawke gasped as he took in her appearance. "That's the mage from the battle. She's alive!" They ran over to her unconscious form, her breathing was shallow and her blonde hair was a tangled bloody mess. "I'll carry her. Lothering isn't far now."

Carver's cocked his head to the side. "Shouldn't I carry her? Your leg..." He said glancing down at the bandage wrapped tight around his calf.

"I'm already slow, you can still fight." Hawke said and Carver nodded his agreement.

This mage had saved their lives with her barrier, buying them enough time to escape. Hawke had never seen such magic before, the barrier she formed had spanned the entire width of the valley, shimmering blue against the fiery red sky and against the yellow of the lit beacon. Loghain had betrayed them all and this woman had stood alone against the darkspawn horde. "Just hold on. We'll get you help." He whispered to her.

They approached Lothering but a group of men blocked their path. "You gots to pay the toll. This is a toll bridge, yah see."

"You're just extorting beaten and bloody soldiers!" Carver argued.

Bloody bandits, any other day and Hawke would've beat the living shit out of these bastards but they didn't have the strength or time now, the mage was still in Hawke's arms, still out-cold and Hawke's leg was only getting worse. He grabbed his coin purse and chucked it at the bandits. "That's all we have, now get the fuck out of our way." He growled. They obliged.

"BETHANY!" Carver shouted as they rushed in through their front door.

Their mother ran forward, her eyes wide. "You're back!" She cried happily. Her face dropped as she soon saw the unconscious elf in Hawke's arms. "Who is that?" She frowned.

Bethany skittered down the stairs and came to an abrupt halt as she took in the condition of the elf in his arms.

"No time to explain, can you heal her?" Hawke asked.

"Is that wise-" Mother started to say.

"She's a mage" Carver cut her off.

"And she saved our lives, please, help her sister." Hawke said.

Bethany nodded and Hawke carried her up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He kicked the door to the guest room open and placed her down on the bed.

"Get her robes off." Bethany ordered as she rushed around behind him.

He pulled out his knife and cut the front of the robes, which didn't require much effort as they were already in tatters. He peeled them back he gasped as he took in the state of her body, she had cuts and scraps all down her front and her leg was a mess. Bethany returned to his side with bandages, a bucket of water and poultices. Bethany passed him a cloth and he got to work cleaning her as best he could so they could see her injuries better. Bethany's hands started to glow over the deep gash on her thigh, her eyes closed in concentration. Hawke poured a health poultice onto the scar and wrapped a bandage around it. Bethany was clearing up some of the other cuts and bruises when Carver walked over with a new bucked of water and started rinsing the blood from her hair.

Carver gasped. "Bethany." He said grimly, moving the elf's hair out the way.

"Damn." Bethany said as she moved to get to work on the fractured skull.

Hawke continued to clean and bandage some of the deeper cuts as Bethany and Carver wrapped her head in bandages too.

"Turn her over so we can check her back." Bethany ordered as she wiped at her brow.

Hawke and Carver rolled her and let out a collective gasp at the state of her back. There were pink lines criss-crossed over her back; she had been flogged at some point in her past. Hawke swallowed hard as they rolled her back over and covered her with blankets.

"I think she'll be okay." Bethany said "I still have some spare robes; I'll get them for her. Will you watch her?" She said turning to Hawke. He gave her a slight nod and watched her walk away.

"I'll go talk to mother." Carver said leaving too.

Hawke gazed down at the mage, her hair was still damp where they soaked it to remove the blood but she looked young and without worry as she snored gently. _Who flogged you?_ He thought sadly.

Mother's worried voice echoed up the stairs. "What if she tells someone?"

Hawke sighed and left the room to join them downstairs. He knew why she was worried, with Bethany being an apostate they always had to be careful. Hawke hopped off the last step and stalked toward them.

"We can't stay here anyway. There's nothing stopping the darkspawn from heading north now." He explained.

Carver nodded. "We couldn't just leave her, not after she saved us, _twice_." Their mother chewed on her lip still not convinced.

"Pack everything that is vital. Once she wakes up we're out of here." Hawke ordered.

* * *

Alistair fell in to stride beside her. "So do you want to look for your brother? Maybe he's at Lothering?" He smiled at her kindly.

She fiddled with her hair, pushing her bangs from her face. "Of course I do. I just-" She stared at the ground and kicked up dust as she walked.

"You don't want to get your hopes up I guess?"

She chewed on her lips and nodded. "I wish I could know for certain, right now I'm turning every corner expecting to bump into him. I just want to know one way or the other."

"Well, Lothering is our best chance for bumping into him. We can look for him."

Morrigan groaned from behind them. "He is either dead or fled north; there is no sense in searching for him. Tis like looking for an earring in a field."

Ari glanced over her shoulder and glared at her. "I can't just give up on him like that."

Alistair put a hand on her shoulder. "Then we won't give up. We will look for him in Lothering, after that..." He trailed off.

She exhaled deeply. "After that, I get it, we need to focus on other things." She said reluctantly.

Upon reaching Lothering they had encountered some 'toll collectors' who were very insistent that they pay money to enter Lothering. Arietta had no qualms killing them; she gave them plenty of opportunity to let them pass. The Village had been buzzing with people, soldiers and refuges were camped everywhere. Arietta had made a point of looking at every soldier they passed; she even checked the sick beds looking for Fergus. But there was no sign of him anywhere. They had a Chantry sister offer her services to them; she knew how to handle herself and seemed eager to help stop the Blight so they welcomed her along with open arms. Arietta had been less sure of the Qunari, Sten, they took into their group on grounds that he help stop the Blight. He had murdered people but seeing him caged like an animal had made her blood boil, the Chantry were leaving his fate to the Maker, it was just an excuse so they didn't get blood on their hands. So instead he was with them now, he looked like he'd be very useful in a fight.

They stocked up on supplies and headed for the exit, not wanting to risk staying in the village much longer. She told as many people as she could to flee, that the darkspawn would come here soon, but she knew a lot of them had no way to escape or nowhere to go. Others were reluctant to leave their homes, having lived there all of their life. She knew how hard it was to leave such a home and so had simply nodded and said _Maker watch over you._ On their way out of the village they had encountered two dwarves under attack from darkspawn, which they happily killed for them.

"We can set up camp here." She said as she dumped her pack to the floor. It was a small clearing and they had stepped over a stream just moments before that would serve to wash in.

Alistair and Leliana wondered off to find some firewood while Arietta and Sten set up tents. Morrigan turned into a bird and fluttered off, preferring to keep to herself.

"I don't know much about the Qun." She offered.

"Is that so." Sten grunted at her.

"Would you care to tell me a little about it while we wait for the others?"

He glared at her. "No."

Her mouth snapped shut and she looked away, returning her gaze to her tent as she threaded the poles together. "Okay then."

"Found some firewood." Alistair said as he walked back in with Leliana close behind. "And some dwarves." He smirked. The two dwarves they had rescued earlier wondered in with their pony pulling a big cart. Bodahn and Sandal were their names she remembered. She gave them a wave and a smile.

They got the fire going, cooked and ate, the others turned in for the night, which just left Arietta with Alistair.

Alistair stretched his arms above his head and Ari couldn't help but glance as his muscles flexed. "Shall I take first watch?" He said with a yawn.

"You can sleep if you want. I don't feel tired enough at the moment."

"Alright, wake me in a few hours?"

"Sure thing."

She watched the fire flickering away; she stayed watching it lost in her thoughts until it was little more than glowing embers. She looked up at the full moon glowing brightly in the sky above and took a deep breath. She forced herself to stand; stretching out her sore limbs as she moved over to Alistair's tent.

"Alistair?" She whispered.

He didn't answer so she opened the flap; he was lying on his back with nothing but linen trousers hanging loosely from his hips. He had a spluttering of golden hair on his very muscled chest and his face looked peaceful as he snored softly. Her smile turned into a yawn, reminding her why she had sought him out.

"Alistair." She tried again.

He turned rolling over slightly, the fabric of his trousers now hugging his buttocks tightly. She stifled a moan and kicked his foot with her own.

He bolted awake. "What-" His eyes found hers as she giggled at him.

"Sorry! You wouldn't wake up."

"Oh- right, no, that's alright." He blushed as he pulled a blanket to cover himself.

She cleared her throat. "I'll be going to bed then-"

"Yes, sure, good night." His blush spread to his ears.

She was grinning ear to ear and she crawled into her own tent. She hoped her dreams would be pleasant rather than sour as she closed her eyes.


	6. Breakfast

**A/N: **Bioware owns the hell outta this but I do love playing with their creations. Anybody else love Hawke? No, just me? Okaaay.

DA2 spoilers are coming!

* * *

**Breakfast.**

She hummed appreciatively as the smell of bacon and eggs filled her nose and the fogginess of sleep dissipated at the welcoming aroma. It had been years since she'd eaten a fry up. Her mouth began to water at the thought of it. The Circle only ever fed them stews, with a mystery meat inside, which more often than not was just pigeon. She opened her eyes; she was in a warm bed snuggled under the blankets. She raised her arm to her head; a thick bandage was wrapped around her skull. She realised her head no longer felt like an ogre was stomping on it and her leg had fully healed too. Barkspawn padded over to her and nuzzled her hand.

She stroked his head. "It's good to see you too boy."

"Hello." A stranger's voice said. She looked up to see a man entering the room. He had black hair and green eyes and stubble framed his perfectly sculpted jaw. His arms were toned with a sprinkling of dark hair on his forearms. Her breath hitched as she ran her eyes down his very bare, very muscled thighs.

"Mmm" She hummed, before shaking her head. "I mean, hi."

"Figured you could use a drink." He passed her a glass of water.

"Thanks." She drank greedily.

His lip curled into a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better thank you." She glanced around trying to figure out where she was. The room was lightly furnished, the bed she was in was against a wall, the door was in front of her. There was a mirror on the far wall along with a wardrobe, and to her left was a window with light blue curtains hanging from it, blowing slightly in the breeze.

He cleared his throat. "You're in my house, in Lothering." He clarified.

She nodded. "What happened exactly?"

"You saved me and my brother, Carver from some darkspawn. You collapsed and I carried you here, where my sister, Bethany healed you."

"Ahh, my knight in shining armour." She said grinning. She vaguely remembered seeing two men fighting darkspawn on the road.

"I do try." He smirked at her. "But it was the least we could do, you saved our lives twice."

She craned her head. "Twice?"

"The first time was that barrier of yours at Ostagar."

"Oh, _that_." She chuckled.

He sat down on the bed beside her, his body was so _warm_, and she could feel his heat through the thick blankets. "I've never seen anyone do something like that, it was incredible." He said as he stared intently at her. That made her blush. She wasn't really sure how she had done it. Adrenaline and blood lust mixed with a lot of desperation had apparently made her a very powerful mage. "Oh, I'm Hawke by the way." He said giving her a lopsided smile.

_What an unusual name_. "I'm Neria."

"Nice to meet you." He stared at her with his big green eyes.

That look made her feel very self-conscious and very hot. She looked down away from his burning gaze, suddenly realising how little she was wearing, just panties and a bra, the blanket only just covered her.

"Where are my robes?" She asked hugging herself.

"Oh, I err had to cut them off." He rubbed his neck. Her ears were definitely turning red now too. He reached down and pulled out some clothes from under the bed. "These are for you." He said handing them to her.

"Thanks." They were a strange style of robe, shorter than her Circle ones had been. They were a grey colour with fur shoulders, very low-cut and decorated with blue and yellow trimmings. She liked them immediately.

"There's this too, for warmth." He said, passing her a thick hooded cloak. It was black, laced with dark blue.

"You just happen to have mage robes lying around?" She smirked.

"Aha, well, you never know when an injured mage might come over for tea." He stood. "Speaking of which, food's ready if you want some, I'll let you get dressed." He turned. Her stare lingered on his back before he disappeared out the room. She scolded herself. Now really was not the time to be admiring handsome soldiers.

She took off her bandage and examined her head, there was a tiny pink scar but otherwise no sign of her fractured skull remained. Hawke's sister was definitely a mage. She slipped on the robes and her boots and spun around in the mirror. She had never seen herself in something so revealing, she looked like a real woman now. She grinned to herself. She wasn't a helpless apprentice any more. She was a Grey Warden. _I just hope I'm not the last one._ Arietta and Alistair hadn't been at the battle, maybe they escaped? She would look for them; maybe they were even in Lothering.

She walked downstairs. Hawke grinned at her. "You clean up great."

"Oh stop. You'll make me blush." She laughed.

"Neria, this is Carver and Bethany and my mother Leandra." He said pointing at the three smiling faces stood around the kitchen.

Carver was tall and much broader than Hawke, she recalled him swinging a greatsword on the road. His hair was a lighter brown than his brothers and his eyes a crystal blue. Bethany was very pretty; her brown hair fell around her shoulders in soft waves. Leandra had grey hair, which was tied back in a loose ponytail. She looked so pristine; Neri would have pegged her as a noble if it weren't for her current living arrangements.

She nodded her head and smiled at them. "Thank you for looking after me."

"Are you hungry my dear?" Leandra said politely.

Barkspawn barked next to her, jumping up and down. She smiled down at him before looking back up. "_Starving_."

She moaned as she bit into a mouthful of crispy bacon and gooey egg yolk. _Maker_ she had forgotten what real food tasted like.

They laughed. "Been a while since you had a fry up?" Hawke asked.

"I was six the last time I had something like this." She said as she took another mouthful.

"You were a circle mage then?" Bethany asked.

"Yeah. Grew up here in Lothering though. Saved a templar from a bear and got shipped off to the tower as a reward." She said dryly.

Hawke gasped. "I remember you." She frowned. "I met you once in the market, my father bought you bread."

_Green eyes and dark hair, like the man's_"I remember. You pointed out that I was an elf." She scoffed.

He snorted. "Sorry about that."

"Your name, he called you something other than Hawke?"

"Garrett. Very few people call me that though."

She nodded. "Your father...he's not..."

"He passed away a few years ago." Carver said, as he handed Barkspawn some bacon under the table. That was a shame, she obviously didn't know the man very well but he had been kind to her that day.

"The story of how you stopped that bear was the talk of Lothering for weeks." Bethany said, changing the topic. "Did you know you were a mage before that moment?"

"Nope. I've always been a bit... Impulsive though and Ser Harrison was a good man."

"He moved to Denerim, I think." Bethany added as she stroked the Mabari.

That wasn't surprising. "He always wanted to go there." She smiled. "Tell me, what has Loghain said since the battle?"

"He claims the Grey Wardens betrayed the King." Leandra said. Neri clenched her fists. They would have been a convenient scapegoat had she not survived. She knew the truth and Loghain would pay for his treason.

"He took Lothering's knight's north with him a few days ago." Bethany explained.

_That son of a bitch_. The betrayal had been hard enough but leaving this village completely defenceless was heartless. "Damn him." She stood from the table, no longer hungry and paced the room.

"You okay?" Hawke queried.

"No." She exhaled. "I'm a Grey Warden. Maybe the last now." She said sadly.

Hawkes shoulders sagged. "I'm so sorry."

"Some might still be alive, finding them could be hard though." She sighed. "If they're smart they'll keep a low profile, no doubt there's a bounty on Grey Warden heads now." They'd avoid Denerim. Maybe get a treaty instead...

Hawke seemed to consider this for a moment. "And if they_are_ dead?" He asked.

"I -I don't know..." She said bleakly, if she was alone she didn't like her chances. One elf against an entire horde of darkspawn and a grumpy dragon did not sound too great.

"You could come with us?" Bethany said her face bright.

She frowned. Leave Ferelden? No, she couldn't do that… could she? Nobody would come after her... everyone assumed she was dead along with the other Grey Wardens. She could start a new life, free from templars and the Chantry, free from everything.

_Come with me__Neri_ Anders' voice echoed in her mind. He had wanted her to flee with him, away from the Circle. He asked her every time, just before he escaped again. She always said no. It was to protect him; if they both left Ser Albert would punish Anders. She didn't need to protect him any more though. But she was a Grey Warden now... It was her job to stop the Blight, to protect people from the darkspawn. How could she flee when so many were relying on her?

"I can't leave with you. Someone needs to kill all these darkspawn." She said light-heartedly.

"Alright, we need to get a move on; the darkspawn could be upon us any moment now. I'll pack you a bag Neria." Hawke said as he walked into the kitchen, she followed.

Hawke started rummaging through the cupboards packing little pouches of herbs and other supplies. "Where do you think you will go?" She asked him.

He glanced at her briefly before picking up a few bottles and placing them in the pack. "Mother has family in Kirkwall. I think we might try to flee there."

"There are a lot of templars in Kirkwall..." The Circle tower there had once been a prison and by the sounds of it, still was. "Bethany won't be safe there Hawke."

He looked at her worriedly. "I know. Our uncle is nobility though; it should help keep her safe." He said. Ah so his mother _was_ a noble. "Can I ask you something?" He said looking at her intensely.

She straightened and looked up into his big green eyes. "Of course." She could feel the butterflies dancing in her stomach at the stare burning through her.

He bit his lip before speaking "The scars on your back..." He said quietly. A shiver ran down her spine, he must have seen them when they healed her. "They don't look recent, are they from the Circle?"

She nodded. "If you care about Bethany at all Garrett, don't let the Templars _ever_ catch her."

He nodded his head firmly. "I won't."

A scream interrupted their packing. "It's the darkspawn!" Bethany cried. Neri looked out the kitchen window; sure enough the horde was racing across the field. Parts of the village were already on fire. _Shit._

"Out the back! Now." Hawke ordered.

They ran across the fields, heading north. The sky was filling with smoke behind them; her childhood home, burning to the ground. She could feel the darkspawn scratching at her mind.

"Darkspawn!" She cried as three hurlocks emerged through the trees.

Bethany set them on fire and Neri lifted them into the air then slammed them back down.

"How did you know they were there?" Hawke asked catching his breath.

"Grey Wardens can sense them... No time to talk." She led them forward.

They reached the top of a hill, they could see all of Lothering from it, but that's not what caught their eye. The darkspawn were everywhere, they must have surrounded the entire village. There was no way through them to the north. _Fuck_.

"What do we do now?" Carver said, fear creeping into his voice.

"Maker, we've lost it all. Everything your father and I built..." Leandra sobbed.

"Standing still isn't going to solve anything." Hawke said. "Neria, any ideas?"

Going back the way they came was no good, and the horde was north, which left south or west. "I think running that way is our best option." She pointed west.

They climbed over another hill. A woman with ginger hair barrelled into a hurlock and punched it in the face.

"You will not have him!" She yelled as she slit its throat with her sword.

_Damn_.

Hawke charged in, his daggers drawn, he was strong and his attacks fast, he'd killed three darkspawn before Neri had even cast her first spell. She lifted up the remaining darkspawn and tossed them off the cliff. The woman was helping a templar to his feet as they walked over to them. He looked injured.

The templar hobbled forward. "Apostates! Keep your distance." He said looking at Neri and Bethany. She rolled her eyes at him.

Bethany rested her hand on her hip. "Well the Maker certainly has a sense of humour, darkspawn and now a templar." She said.

"The spawn are clear in their intent but mages are always unknown..." He said. "The Order dictates..." He struggled.

"Wesley..." The woman said.

"The Order dictates..."

_Wow_ this guy really was devout. Hawke stepped in front of Bethany, his hands on his daggers.

"They saved us dear, the Maker understands." The woman spoke.

"Of course." The templar backed down.

"I am Aveline Vallen, this is my husband Ser Wesley. We can hate each other when we're safe from the horde."

"A fantastic idea. We really should get moving." Neri said.

Every path they took led them into another group of darkspawn. They worked well together to cut through them though. But they were all getting weary now. They walked up a path out onto a clearing. They were heading south, deeper into the Wilds. Not ideal, Neri wanted to be heading North West, toward the Circle tower but there were too many darkspawn elsewhere.

The ground beneath their feet began to shake. "OGRE!" Neri warned.

Sure enough it barrelled into the clearing, roaring and spraying saliva everywhere. Before it could attack Neri threw it backward with her magic. She would **not** fail to protect this group of people; she sure as hell wouldn't lose anyone to another fucking ogre. Aveline and Barkspawn were tearing into the ogre's legs and arms. It roared in pain throwing them off. Bethany sent a fireball hurtling toward it.

More darkspawn joined the fight. "Hawke, Carver deal with them." Neri ordered as she put a crushing prison on the ogre.

It struggled against her hold but she kept squeezing. Bethany froze it in place and Aveline plunged her sword into its chest. Neri could feel it weakening. She scanned the battlefield, more darkspawn were running up the pathways, she put down glyphs of paralysis to try to slow them down. Carver charged back over, jumping into the air and slicing the ogre's neck. Blood sprayed everywhere and the ogre fell to its knees. It gurgled before falling to the floor dead.

They were still surrounded. The darkspawn were scratching at her mind insistently. She tried to figure out the best way to run but every option seemed to be a bad one. The sound of wings above them drew their gaze. A massive dragon was sitting on the cliff, it roared loudly before swooping down, just missing them. It doused the darkspawn in flames. Within minutes they were all dead. The dragon began to transform, glowing golden. It shrunk down, revealing an old woman.

The woman began to speak. "Well, well, what have we here?" Neri gasped. She knew that voice. Wesley collapsed to the floor behind them. He did not look well at all. Hawke and Neri stepped forward. "It used to be we never got visitors to the wilds, but now it seems they arrive in hordes."

"I had such a wonderful time at that hut of yours I thought I'd bring guests over for some afternoon tea, hope that's okay?" Neri joked. This was Morrigan's mother, she was sure of it, the Witch of the Wilds Daveth had called her.

"Ha ha ha! Well this is a surprise. You are alive."

"I am nice make-over by the way." Neria chuckled.

The Witch looked powerful now, wearing armour with her hair tied into horn shapes. She looked vastly different to the wrinkled old woman they had met in the Wilds.

"Aha! Your Grey Warden friends _will_ be pleased." The Witch said.

Neri gasped. "They're alive!?"

"Why yes, I rescued them. We couldn't have all the Grey Wardens dying at once now could we?" She turned to leave.

"Wait, you can't just leave us here!" Bethany said.

"Can I not? I spotted the most curious sight: a mighty ogre, vanquished! Who could perform such a feat I wondered. But now my curiosity is sated, and you are safe, for the moment. Is that not enough?"

"Well, if you're gunna bugger off, could you at least teach me how to become a dragon first?" Neri asked.

Hawke smirked at her before speaking. "We won't get through the darkspawn horde without help."

The witch seemed to consider them for a moment. "They will be everywhere soon, where is it you plan to run too?" She asked.

"We need to get to Kirkwall, in the Free Marches." Bethany said.

"I see." She turned around, her grey hair flowing behind her back. "Hurtled into the chaos you fight.. and the world will shake before you." She walked back over to them. "And what of you, Grey Warden? Will you flee? Or stay?"

"I'm staying. If I can find the others..."

"How brave of you." She turned away from them again. "Is it fate or chance? I can never decide... I will help you." The Witch said.

"Are you sure it is wise to trust her? She is the Witch of the Wilds." Aveline said.

"Some call me that. Also Flemeth, Asha'bellanar, an 'old hag who talks too much'?" Flemeth chuckled.

Hawke made a deal with her, Flemeth would take Hawke's group safely through the horde in exchange for him delivering an amulet to the Dalish elves outside of Kirkwall. Neri wasn't sure why she couldn't do that herself... She could _fly_ after all.

"What about me then?" Neri asked.

Flemeth smiled at her with a wicked gleam in her eye. "I can give you safe passage too."

Neri cocked an eyebrow. "What? No deliveries for me to make or errands you want me to do?"

"No, not for you. You've done more than I expected already. There_is_ another matter however..." Flemeth said looking at Wesley.

"No! Leave him alone." Aveline said adamantly.

Now that she was closer to him, she could feel it. He was sick with the taint. "I'm sorry Aveline, he's dying." Neri said.

Aveline glared at her. "You lie!"

"She's right Aveline. I can feel the corruption inside me." He said coughing.

"Is there anything we can do?" Hawke asked.

"The only cure I know of is to become a Grey Warden, but none of them know the ritual." Flemeth said glancing over at Neri.

"Hell, we didn't even know there was a ritual until the day before Ostagar." Neri shrugged.

Aveline ended up killing Wesley herself, putting him out of his misery. It was the merciful thing to do.

"Come and visit us in Kirkwall once you've ended the Blight. I'll have a fry up waiting for you." Hawke grinned as they said goodbye to one another.

"I might come for more than just the fry up." She winked. He laughed at that." But seriously, be careful." She said hugging him.

"You too. Punch Loghain in the face for me?"

"Will do." She grinned.

* * *

**A/N: **Couldn't resist having the twins both alive. Do review! I know you're itching too ;)


	7. United

**A/N: **Still owned by Bioware unfortunately.

* * *

**United.**

The night was cold but at least the rain had stopped now. Alistair was desperately trying to light a fire; they were all hungry and wanted something warm in their bellies.

"Let me try, fool." Morrigan said as she crouched down next to the pile of wood. Within seconds flames flickered to life, lapping at the wood. "There, see. That's how you light a fire."

"You have magic, it's cheating. I could have done that; these sticks are just damp, _soaking_ even." Alistair moaned back.

"Or you just lack the skill to start a simple fire, would not be surprising." Morrigan mocked.

They were camped in a clearing very familiar to Arietta. It was one Duncan used on their way south, there was a cool lake deep enough to soak in on the far side and the clearing was surrounded by beautiful willow trees, their branches dangled in the wind, swaying gently. She smiled at the memory of her and Duncan clashing blades through the branches, testing one another's metal while Neria cheered them on. He had won that fight, his experience beating her youth and agility. Her chest ached; they had lost a great man at Ostagar. They had lost many great men the last month or so. She started sharpening her daggers not wanting to dwell on the sadness of it all.

Alistair began throwing a bunch of ingredients in a pot, leaving them to boil over the fire.

Leliana peered into the pot. "What is that you're making?"

"Oh this?" Alistair beamed, "It's my speciality. It's a sort of stewy, brothy, soupy thing." He said with a chuckle.

Arietta laughed at that, if he couldn't identify what it was they were probably all going to die of food poisoning. Alistair noticed her laughing and smiled at her and her heart skipped a beat.

"_Ohh_, sounds lovely." Leliana lied.

Alistair pouted. "Ouch, you'll hurt my feelings; I'm very sensitive about my cooking!"

Arietta's stomach rumbled. "I'm sure it'll be great, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse."

"That's the Grey Warden appetite talking." He mused.

She looked up at him. "The what?"

"All new recruits go through it." He shrugged a shoulder as he stirred his soupy, brothy stewy thing. "I would always sneak down into the pantry and steal food in the middle of the night, I thought I was starving!" He laughed.

She let out a small snort. "There's nothing new there, I did it all the time at Highever, my mother would catch me and shout at me, telling me I'd get fat." She chuckled.

"Well you certainly can't tell from your figure." Alistair said and she could feel her cheeks heating slightly.

"Well I wish I could get away with that, I just have to look at a cake and it goes straight to my hips." Commented Leliana.

"What is cake?" Sten queried.

"Wait, you don't have cake where you're from?" Ari asked.

"No." The Qunari said bluntly.

"We'll have to remedy that. They're delicious. Especially the little cupcakes with butter icing." Leliana said blissfully.

"Well for now we're stuck with this." Alistair said, pouring his _'_food_'_ into bowls for them all.

"Thank you for cooking Alistair." She said as she shovelled the broth into her mouth. The meat was stringy and there wasn't a lot of flavour, but it was warm and filled her belly so she wolfed it down.

"More?" He said smirking at her.

She _was_ still hungry..."Yes please." She said shyly.

A dog barked from behind them, she turned to see a mabari running into their camp. She stood up, her brow knitting together in confusion. Blossom growled at the intruder, lowering her head. The other hound skipped over to them happily and sniffed Arietta's hand.

"_Another _dog?" Morrigan said.

"I've never seen him before." Arietta shrugged. The hound ran back to the clearing entrance and barked a few more times, his little tail wagging frantically from side to side. They all gasped as a familiar looking elf stepped out from under the trees.

_Neria._

Arietta's face broke into a grin and she ran forward hugging her. "You're alive."

"What happened? Are you alone? How did you find us?" Alistair said quickly.

"I'm alone, sorry." She stared at them with her big brown eyes. "I couldn't- they didn't..."

"It's okay. We heard what happened." Arietta said as she rubbed her arm. "What happened to you?"

"Let's see, it involves Barkspawn here " Neria scratched the hound behind the ears. "Two _very_ muscled soldiers" She said with a smirk "A comfy bed, eggs and bacon and a dragon."

"You named your mabari warhound Barkspawn?" Sten questioned first.

Neria glanced at their giant friend "Yup." She looked at Arietta "Quite the group you've gathered..."

"Oh!" She smacked herself. "Sorry, this is Sten and this is Leliana and you know Morrigan." Neri nodded at them all in turn.

"Who were those _very_ muscled soldiers then?" Leliana said with a playful smile.

Neri's face broke into a grin. "Hawke and his brother Carver, they had a sister, Bethany and lived with their mother Leandra. They're heading to Kirkwall now. But yes, they were very... Nice." She winked at Leliana.

"I'm surprised you didn't go with them." Ari said.

She shrugged. "You'd miss me too much."

They all laughed. "And the eggs and bacon?" Alistair asked.

Neri grinned. "I haven't had a fry up for 12 years, it was a damn good fry up too."

"And a dragon?" Arietta said folding her arms, there was no way...

"Flemeth. Morrigan's mother she flew over us, scorched a few darkspawn then promised us all safe passage."

"Seriously!?" They all looked to Morrigan and she just shrugged.

"She gave me these to give to you Morrigan." Neria said as she handed her a bag.

Morrigan took and and peered inside letting out an audible groan. "More socks! I swear I will drown in the damn things."

"We even have dwarves?" Neria said pointing toward Bodahn and Sandal.

Ari smiled. "We need all the help we can get." She shrugged.

Neria grinned. "You won't hear any complaints from me."

"Want some food?" Arietta asked. Neria nodded and they sat down around the fire together.

Neria explained the battle as they ate. "He died bravely. A whirlwind of metal, slicing through countless darkspawn." She said staring down at her food.

Cailan had been killed by an ogre and Neri and Duncan had battled the horde trying to buy the soldiers time to escape. It sounded incredible, Neria was extremely lucky to be alive.

"I take back what I said before. I can't do the no complaints thing." Neria said. "This food is awful Alistair. It's the same shit the Circle fed us every fucking day." She moaned.

"Sorry it's not crispy bacon and gooey eggs; we're rather short of pigs and chickens at the moment. I did see some in Lothering but thought; no we should probably buy the bandages instead. My mistake, next time I'll make sure we buy lots of _live_ meat, we can all carry around a rabbit or two in our packs..."

"Alright!" Neri said raising her hands. "You've made your bloody point man. The stews lovely, thanks for cooking." She said folding her arms and frowning down at her bowl.

"That's better, you're very welcome." He said a little too chuffed with himself. He was such a goof-ball.

"So we're going to Redcliffe first?" Neria asked as she played with her food, slyly handing some to Barkspawn.

"Yeah, it would do us good to get a strong political figure backing us. Others will listen to the Arl. He's sick so we need to figure out what's going on there first." Ari explained.

* * *

They had set out early, after waking up from yet more darkspawn nightmares. The Archdemon was really trying to make his presence known. They were approaching Redcliffe when Alistair asked them to stop for a moment.

"I'm a bastard; my mother was a serving girl at Redcliffe castle." He blurted. "And she died when I was born. Arl Eamon took me in and raised me before I was sent to the Chantry." He said. "The reason he did that was because, well.." He cleared his throat. "My father was King Maric." Arietta's jaw hit the floor. "Which made King Cailan my half-brother, I suppose." _Maker_. She was getting whiplash from all these twists and turns.

"So you're not just a bastard, you're a _royal_ bastard? Doesn't that make you heir to the throne?" Neria said from her side.

"Maker's breath, I hope not. I don't think so, you don't think so do you? I'm a bastard and nobody even knows about me..." He said panicking.

Arietta finally found her voice. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"I would have told you but it never really meant anything to me. I was inconvenient. A possible threat to Cailan's rule and so they kept me secret." He rubbed his neck. "Everyone who knew either resented me or coddled me. Even Duncan kept me out of the fighting because of it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

She knew what that was like, her own father had kept her out of the thick of it; she was his baby girl. "It's okay. I just wasn't expecting _that_."

"Can we just pretend like I'm still some nobody who was too lucky to die with the rest of the Grey Wardens?"

"And what does that make me?" Arietta asked.

"The reason why I say I was lucky." He said. Ari's cheeks blushed.

"Lead on, _my Prince_." Neria japed.

"Oh I can already tell I am going to regret this." He said as he turned and walked down the hill.

* * *

She was sat cross-legged in the Chantry. Finally able to just sit down and relax. She was exhausted from fleeing the darkspawn and heading north to search for the Wardens. She hadn't been sleeping much either thanks to the darkspawn whispering in her mind. It was strange to be sat in a Chantry again and for once she was the one telling the story to the children instead of the other way around. She should hate the Chantry; they chained mages and were responsible for so much pain and suffering in her life. But she grew up in one and it was strangely comforting to be in one again now. Lothering's Chantry was gone, destroyed by the darkspawn. That made her feel a little sad. But it hadn't been her home for a long time. Staring in that mirror in Hawke's house she realised something. She was a new person now. Her old life of the Chantry and Circle was over. She didn't have a collar around her neck any more, she was free. Despite the colossal task ahead of them she didn't feel scared, not now that she was with the others.

She was sitting with a group of children. They were scared of the monsters that came down from the castle every night. Neri wasn't sure what these monsters were but Arietta had agreed to defend the village tonight. They had spent all day preparing and persuading others to join the fight. It was an hour or so until sunset now. Neri always liked the children in the Circle, so she was happy to sit with them all now.

"The little girl was all alone, lost in the woods." She said, continuing her story. "She felt like she was wondering around in circles, no idea where she had been or where she needed to go. She sat down on a rock and began to cry." The children looked up at her with sad eyes, so many of them were orphans now or just plain scared about the attacks. "That's when the wolves had started circling her. She cowered in fear, there were so many of them and they had her surrounded." The children gasped. "Just when she thought they were going to eat her, a group of Knight's charged into the clearing, swords drawn. They chased away all the wolves and the little girl rejoiced, for she was safe." She said smiling at them all.

"Are you like the Knights in the story?" One of the little boys asked.

Neri smiled. "We are. There's nothing to be afraid of anymore." She reassured them.

Neri got up to get a drink, Leliana ambushed her. "You're very good with them." She said.

Neri's ears flicked up at that. "Thanks." She didn't know much about this Leliana, she was a Chantry sister who knew how to fight. Seemed a bit odd to Neri but if she wanted to help them with the Blight who were they to turn her aside?

"Have you done this sort of thing before?" She said as she pushed her red hair away from her face.

She gave her a shrug. "I used to read to the children in the Circle. I always found reading helped to distract me, figured a good story would help the children here."

"Books are wonderful things, sometimes the oldest, strangest looking book has the best story to tell." She said.

She smiled at her. "Would you like to tell them the next one?"

"Oh I would love to." She squealed with excitement.

* * *

The sky was dark, the night still. Neria stood in front of the Chantry, ready for battle. She gripped her staff tighter.

"There!" A man shouted.

Sure enough a walking corpse approached them, dripping wet from the lake, more emerged through the houses. The traps they had laid down seemed to be working; they were only coming out of one alley.

"Archers!" Neri shouted, they fired arrows into the undead, most kept walking though. They felt no pain. "Kill them all!" She ordered. She flung a few of the undead into the sky before smashing them down onto the roof of a house. "Barkspawn. Go get them boy." He charged in happily tearing limbs off of the corpses. The undead had weapons of their own, swords, hammers, shields, tools and kitchen ware too. The soldiers were parrying their blows, metal ringing out across the area. She had glyphs down around the Chantry doors. She would not let them past her.

One of the undead charged at her with a frying pan in its hand, she couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it. She ducked under its swing then smacked it over the head with her staff before stabbing it with the bladed end. If she was any good with fire or lightning magic she would have killed it with that and made some sort of pun about it frying to death, alas she did not.

She swept her eyes across the whole area, a lot of the soldiers were hurt, some were dead on the floor now and still the undead poured out through the houses. She could count at least 30. She sent another group flying backwards, others she crushed with her mind. Despite this they were being overwhelmed. "Get the Wardens." She told a soldier, he sprinted off up the hill.

Men were falling around her; most of them were so inexperienced. She couldn't decide if it was bravery or foolishness that had led them to fight at her side tonight. There was such a thin line between the two. It was like Ostagar all over again, death everywhere. The undead were almost as horrifying as the darkspawn, but were less brutal with their attacks. The darkspawn seemed to enjoy savaging their victims, playing with them before finishing them off.

One of the walking corpses took her by surprise, slamming into her. The breath was knocked out of her as she hit the floor and the undead started to claw at her face, she grabbed hold of its arms and struggled against it. She was so little and weak compared to it though.

_Aren't I compared to everything though?_

She tried again to throw it was no use. She stared up at its face, there was a stubby piece of bone sticking out where its nose used to be, replaced by two bloody holes, and the right side of its face had been bashed in, turning its eye socket into black hole. Its skin was flaking off, turning a disgusting green colour. She shuddered every time it snapped its mouth shut just inches from her face. She could feel her heart in her chest, pounding away, her breathing became ragged. All she could feel was this thing pressing down on her, pinning her to the floor. She tried to think and move but couldn't. Barkspawn appeared and tore into the corpse's neck, congealed blood splattered down onto her chest, a thick cold mess. She gagged and rolled to the side, throwing up down the Chantry steps as Barkspawn finished off the corpse. Her breathing started to return to normal, "Good boy" She said stroking the Mabari as she looked up and saw the Wardens fighting the corpses.

Morrigan blasted several with ice, freezing them; Sten smashed his sword into them causing them to shatter spectacularly. Leliana was crippling a lot of the corpses with arrows, slowing their movements down. Alistair and Arietta were fighting back to back. They moved gracefully together, Arietta flipped over Alistair's back and landed her daggers into the skull of a corpse as he smashed his shield into another. If she didn't know any better she would have said they'd been fighting together for years. She forced herself back to her feet, wiping as much of the blood off as she could. She took a few deep breaths, checking the battlefield, one of the undead was pounding on the Chantry doors, she walked up to it, grabbed it and threw it to the floor then she smashed her boot down on its skull. Less and less undead were appearing, their numbers finally dwindling. Arietta headed through the houses to check for stragglers while Alistair went back up the hill to check on the situation up there. For now, it looked like they had won.

* * *

The Arl's wife had come down from the castle in the morning and begged Bann Teagan to return with her. Neri didn't trust her and had said as much to her face. But in the end they had agreed to send Teagan with her, while they entered via the secret passage. They came out in the castle's dungeon. More corpses were ahead of them clawing at a cell door. Neri hit them with a blast of kinetic energy. Blossom and Barkspawn ran them down and killed them.

"Hello- Is someone there?" The hair's on the back of her neck stood up. She knew that voice. She walked toward his cell.

"Jowan." She said icily. It had been less than a month since his betrayal and since she tried to kill him.

_So much for my new life and new start._

He gasped "Ne-Neri?"

She folded her arms across her chest. "Bet you never thought you'd see me again." She scoffed.

He looked down at his feet. "No, I didn't."

She cocked an eyebrow. "So you're the mage who poisoned Arl Eamon?"

That seemed odd. He might be a backstabbing idiot but he wasn't a murderer.

"I am, I can explain though..." He said as his eyes darted around the rest of her group.

"This should be good." She smiled.

He walked toward the cell door. "Neri, please, I'll answer all of your questions, I swear. But I need to ask you something first..." He put his hands on the bars of the cell.

"You want to know about Lily." She sighed. "I have no answers for you. She was taken away."

He rubbed at his face. "Oh my poor Lily, she must hate me now. _If_ she even lives. What have I done?" He buried his face in his hands.

He brought this on himself; he never should have turned to blood magic. "You betrayed us Jowan."

"I know, I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt anybody!"

As furious as she had been with him, she knew he was telling the truth, Jowan wasn't a monster. He had been her friend, once. "It's stuff like this that makes the templars crack down harder on mages. After everything... How could you turn to such magic?"

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I know, I was a fool. I don't expect you to ever forgive me."

She decided to change the subject, they needed answers. "So what, you got bored in your cell and decided to raise a few corpses?"

"No- no, that wasn't me, I swear."

He explained how Loghain had hired him to poison the Arl, he was already imprisoned when the corpses started wondering around. He believed that Connor might be responsible, the boy was a mage and Jowan had only recently taught him the basics of magic theory. Jowan could give Jory a run for his money when it came to moaning about things._ I wonder who'd win the moan-off? _She shook her head. _That just sounds dirty._ Jowan started whining about wanting to help, to do the right thing for once. She actually felt sorry for him, almost. It was still his fault he was in this stupid situation.

"I'm sick of running; let me try to fix it, any way I can." Jowan begged.

Arietta moved closer to the cell with her hands on her hips. "You mean let you out?"

"You can't seriously be considering letting a blood mage go free?" Alistair said.

"Why not? He wants to help, let him, there is no point leaving him caged in there like an animal." Morrigan said.

Arietta turned to look at Neri, she tilted her head to the side. "Neria he's your friend..."

Neri sighed. "We already have demons and corpses running around, why not a blood mage too?" She laughed. "He's telling the truth. Let him help." She said more seriously.

* * *

They made their way through the castle, corpses attacked first, and then the demons had started appearing. They were horrifying creatures and powerful too. Arietta could see why mages were feared so much, being able to summon these monsters at will could easily wipe out an entire village in a matter of hours.

Once inside the main hall they were greeted by a very peculiar sight. Bann Teagan was back flipping in front of Isolde and a child, who Ari presumed was Connor. It quickly became clear that the terrible presence Isolde had mentioned _was_ Connor. He was possessed by a demon and he was controlling Teagan. The demon made Teagan fight their group while Connor ran away apparently scared of the fighting. He wasn't always possessed it seemed.

"He's just a little boy! Please, you can't kill him! There must be another way." Isolde begged.

They were discussing what to do with Connor. They couldn't let the demon carry on terrorising the castle and village but the alternative would mean killing Connor. Arietta didn't want to do that unless it was necessary. She was hoping Neria or Morrigan would offer some insight but they were both very quiet on the matter. That's when Jowan entered and offered another solution.

Jowan tugged at his robes nervously. "It would take a lot of life energy, all of it in fact. Like I said, it's not much of an option."

Ari folded her arms. "It's not option at all. Blood magic solves nothing and I'm not sacrificing anyone to save Connor." She said.

She started to feel nauseous. If she had to kill Connor... She wasn't sure she _could_ do it. The death of a child always hit her harder than anything else, they were so young and innocent, and it seemed cruel for the Maker to take them from this world so early.

"There must be another way?" She said running a hand through her hair. "Anyone?"

Neria was chewing on her lip. "We just need more mages and lyrium to send someone into the fade." She said. "The Circle tower isn't far. We could ask them to help us." She shrugged.

"The Circle is a couple of days away though..." Alistair said.

Neria glanced at him. "It is. But I think it's worth the risk. Leave Morrigan and Sten here with Jowan. If something happens while we are gone Teagan and Isolde can decide what to do. Hopefully it won't come to that though."

She trusted the mages judgement. If they hurried they might get lucky and make it back before anything else happened. "Alright. To the tower we go."


	8. Return

**A/N: **This story would not be possible without Bioware.

Or my followers, seriously thank you for reading,

it means so much to me!

* * *

**Return. **

Neri's palms were sweating as they walked down the hill overlooking Lake Calenhad and the Circle tower. She noticed that there was a templar at the docks instead of Kester, the ferryman. They walked down and greeted him.

"The tower is closed." The templar said, she recognised him as Carroll, a pointy faced templar with a squeaky voice. Anders had put a smoke bomb in his armour once and Carroll had run around screaming like a little girl. They had laughed about it for hours until they got ratted out and were put on cleaning duty for a month.

"We need to get across; this treaty compels the mages to help the Grey Wardens with the Blight." Arietta said.

"Oooh, Grey Wardens are you? I've got a form in my back pocket that says I'm the Queen of Antiva." He laughed.

She had forgotten how much of a twat he could be, _that's_ why they had chosen him to prank. "_Caroline_, remember me?" She mocked.

He looked at her and scowled. "Hey! That's not my name." He whined. "What are _you_ doing back here?" He said as he folded his arms.

"Like my companion said, we're Grey Wardens. We need to get to the tower, _now_."

"Greagoir gave me orders, sorry, can't help you." He turned his head like a stroppy child.

She ran her eyes up and down his body. "That armour looks heavy." She commented.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "It is."

She twirled her hair in her finger. "Have you ever tried swimming in it?"

"What no- why would I do that? I'd get water stuck in my boots!"

"Oh how awful, wet socks are the worst!" She lifted him up and hovered him over the water.

He screamed "Put me down!"

"Okay." She dropped him suddenly, his boots dropping into the icy water below.

He wailed "On the docks, on the docks!"

"Will you take us across?" She said lowering him some more.

"Yes! We'll go right now!"

She put him down and they all entered the boat. She was still smiling as he rowed them across; the templars had no authority over her now. It felt good.

They climbed the steps into the tower and walked through the front door. Templars were running around, panicked; some were bleeding on the floor as others desperately tried to bandage them up.

"And I want two men stationed within sight of the doors at all times." Greagoir ordered. "Do not open the doors without my express consent, is that clear?" He sounded tired as he spoke, something was very, very wrong.

"The doors are barred are they keeping people out or in?" Alistair said.

Greagoir turned to face their group "Now we wait and pray."

Neria stepped forward "Knight Commander Greagoir." She nodded her head at him. She never thought she'd willingly come back here, at least not so soon after leaving.

"Neria." He huffed. "I did not expect you back here so soon."

"It's great to see you too." She said deadpan. "What's going on?"

"The tower is no longer under our control, abominations and demons walk the halls, the Circle is lost."

"How did that happen!?" Her friends were in there, Sol, Finn, Titch, _Anders_...

"I don't know it all happened so quickly. When I saw we couldn't possibly fight them all I ordered the retreat."

"And you just locked the doors!? You can't just leave them to die like that." _Bloody coward._

"None could survive such horrors, there were too many of them." He said pacing.

"You're wrong. I'm going in." She had to find her friends, she had to save them.

"If you do that I will only reopen the doors for Irving himself. I have sent word to Denerim asking for reinforcements and the Rite of Annulment."

"You would butcher them all? Greagoir you fucker!" She spat.

"Calm it." Arietta warned. "Knight Commander we will clear out the tower, if we bring you Irving, alive, you won't annul the Circle and we'll have your support against the Blight? This treaty compels the mages to help the Grey Wardens."

Greagoir agreed and they entered the tower.

She stormed into the apprentice quarters, fuming with Greagoir, but her anger dissipated as she walked into her old bedroom. Many of the bunk-beds had been toppled over. There was a body on the floor, a female mage, she recognised her but didn't know her name. She knelt down and closed her eyes out of respect. How could this happen? If she hadn't left when she did this could very well have been her lying on the floor dead.

"You okay Neria?" Arietta asked.

She pushed down her worries as she stood back up. "Yeah, I always said this place needed a bit of colour, the blood stains on the floor are a nice touch." She said sarcastically as she walked out the door. She heard Arietta sigh from behind her.

They entered the next room; a massive rage demon was racing toward them. A blast of ice killed it, Neri turned to see Wynne standing with her staff in hand. The mage looked exhausted. There were others alive too; she recognised Petra and some of the children, all cowering off to the side. She _knew_ there would be survivors.

"Neria!" Wynne said "You're alive."

"As are you, _just about_." Neri said with a smirk.

Wynne kept her staff in hand, her brows knitted together. "What are you doing here?"

She snorted. "It's good to see you too Wynne."

"We are Grey Wardens, we came seeking aid from the mages, but now, we're here to help. We have to find Irving before the Rite arrives." Arietta explained.

"Greagoir did send for it then? I thought he might, despite the demons and abominations we have survived, but if reinforcements come we will not be able to stand against them." Just another reason to hurry and clear this tower.

"What happened exactly?" Arietta asked.

"There was a revolt after the mages got back from Ostagar, Uldred tried to take over the Circle. As you can see it didn't work out as he had planned. I will not lose the Circle. Let us go and find Irving at once." Uldred. She knew him, vaguely. He was one of the senior mages. If her friends were dead because of him..

"Do you know if any of the others are safe..." Neri asked head low, she didn't want to hear her answer.

Wynne's mouth pressed together in a thin line. "I have not seen anyone else for some time now."

They would be okay, they were strong. And Anders was locked in his cell, serving out his year of solitary still. Neria nodded. "Impressive barrier." She said looking at the glowing blue wall in the doorway.

Wynne chuckled. "It is a small feat compared to what you did at Ostagar."

Her cheeks flushed. "You saw that then?"

"It was remarkable. We would not have escaped if it weren't for you. I am glad you are alive."

Wynne took down her barrier and they walked through, into the rest of the tower. They were barely around the next corner before abominations attacked them. Seeing them face to face like this, the monsters that mages could so easily become themselves... it made her shiver. It was worse to think that these horrifying things could be people she knew. She flung one of them into a bookcase, knocking several tomes to the ground. The abomination exploded as she killed it. Setting the books on fire and throwing her back. Leliana helped her to her feet and they pushed forward.

They needed to hurry. Alistair and Arietta charged in with the war hounds close behind. While Wynne, Leliana and Neri stayed back. They cleared the final room then walked up the stairs. Unbelievably Owain was still stood outside the stock room. "Please refrain from entering the stock room it is a mess and I have not had time to clean it." He said dully.

"Well, that's no good." Neri mocked. She hated the Tranquil, he always creeped her out so much.

"Why are you just standing out here?" Alistair asked.

"I tried to leave but there was a barrier blocking the doorway so I returned to the stock room." He said in his monotone voice.

"Owain you should have said something, I would have taken down the barrier for you." Wynne scolded.

Owain said he wanted the Circle to go back to normal and had hopes that Niall's plan would succeed. Apparently he had come to the stock room with a few others and had taken the Litany of Andralla. That was not a good sign. It protected people from mind domination. In other words, blood magic.

They had left Owain and carried on through the tower. Three blood mages attacked them but Neri threw them to the ground and killed two of them, the last one begged for her life. "You made your choice." She growled down at her.

"You of all people know what the templars are capable of, we wanted to change things. The blood magic was just a means to an end."

"Using blood magic just puts more fuel on the fire for templars like Ser Albert to abuse us with. You make me sick!" She said as she brought the blade of her staff down on her chest.

They found a few mages who had been hiding in closets and under beds and told them to run back toward the entrance, to Petra who was looking after the children. That gave her hope that her friends were alive. They were much stronger than some of the mages they had found. They continued to cut their way through hordes of demons and possessed dead things. It was repulsive and made her skin crawl. She wasn't a fan of templars but it was clear just as many of them were dead as mages. One was under the control of a desire demon; they had no choice but to kill him. She had yet to find Cullen or any of the other's she was fond of. What the fuck had Uldred done? She was going to rip him in two for the chaos and slaughter he'd caused.

They were about half way up the tower now. They entered the central chamber and were immediately greeted by the stench of blood and death; it was so strong her eyes began to water. The room was covered in guts and blood; there were bodies on the floor. One looked like Niall but she couldn't see properly as there was a demon standing over his body.

It turned toward them "Oh look, visitors" It said with a muffled voice, the growths on its face impairing its speech. Its entire body was blood red and covered in stringy muscle fibres. "I'd entertain you, but there's too much effort involved." It said slowly.

_A Sloth demon then?_

"Fuck you." Neri snarled.

"How rude, aren't you tired? Don't you want to just lie down..." She could feel its magic intruding into her mind. The others were fighting it too.

"Cant..keep..eyes open" Alistair struggled. "Someone pinch...me."

"I will not, listen to your lies." Leliana said cupping her hands over her ears.

Neri focused everything she had on shielding herself. Over the years she had gotten very good at blocking bad things out. The sleepiness begin to dissipate. But her companions were not so lucky, they began dropping to the floor, unconscious.

"You missed me." She mocked.

"Ah, that _is_ unfortunate."

It charged at her, she rolled to the side and hit it in the chest with her kinetic energy; it skidded backward across the floor. She lifted the demon up and threw it back down as hard as she could. Some of the growths on its chest burst, oozing red liquid. She tried not to gag. Its attacks were strong, but it was definitely weaker outside of the Fade and her barriers shrugged off most of the attacks. Her glyphs and crushing prisons weren't working though, the demon was too strong. She needed to whittle it down more. But it was pressing her hard.

It was definitely Niall on the floor too, his plan had obviously failed, it would be up to them now instead. She smashed an entire bookcase into the sloth demon, making it roar in pain. It just chucked it off and ran toward her again. A blast of lightning hit her hard, her barrier broke and she was sent flying backward. Her entire body was in spasm as she struggled to stand up again. It was on her in seconds, lifting her up by her neck and pinning her against a pillar.

"You could have had such wonderful dreams." The Sloth demon said as it slammed her head into the pillar, over and over. She was clawing at its fist but the grip around her neck was too tight. She couldn't think. Everything started to blur. Suddenly flames engulfed the demon; it wailed in pain and dropped her to the floor. She coughed and gasped for air, the room spinning as she tried to see what was happening. The Sloth demon fell to the floor revealing a familiar looking mage.

_Anders. _

Everything faded to black.

* * *

It had been easy. That shocked her more than anything. How easily she had killed them all. The people she loved the people she respected. It hadn't mattered who they were. She killed them like they were bandits or darkspawn because she knew they were in the Fade. Shouldn't she have hesitated to kill her father and mother? To kill Duncan? They had all been there. Happy. Telling her The Blight was over. They were eating dinner at Highever. She knew immediately how wrong that picture was so she cut them down like they were nothing to her.

She exhaled. There was no point dwelling on that. They still had a tower to clear out, mages to save. Neri had somehow resisted the Sloth demons magic, remaining awake to fight it alone. She was unconscious with Wynne and this new mage, Anders fussing over her. Anders was a scruffy looking man, dirty blonde hair and a fuzzy beard; he looked like he hadn't bathed for weeks. But he clearly cared about the elf, he hadn't left her side since Ari and the others had woken up from the demon's nightmares. She wondered if there was something between him and Neria. Ari hadn't talked to her about relationships or any of that girly gossip stuff. They'd been a bit busy after all.

Finally the elf opened her eyes.

"Neri, you okay?" Anders questioned, clearly relieved she was awake.

"_Anders_." She said smiling. "How did you get out of your cell?"

He shrugged and smirked down at her. "I'm good at escaping."

"I hate to be the one to tell you this but, you're still in the tower, outside world is thattaway." The elf pointed toward the door.

He chuckled. "Petra told me you were here so I came after you."

"Thanks for saving my ass." Neria said as he helped her up.

"After everything you've done for me..." All the humour was gone from his voice.

Neria frowned. "You don't owe me anything."

"How can you say that?" He said.

"Anders..." Neria glanced over at Arietta and the others. "Not here. Not now. We have to stop Uldred." She walked away from him. "How was the fade? Lovely as always?" She said to her.

"My family were there, alive, Duncan too. So I killed them all." Arietta said to her.

"What!? Just like that?" Said Alistair.

"The Fade always twists memories." Neria said sadly. "You did well to see through the lies."

* * *

They made their way through the rest of the tower, it got more putrid and retched the higher they climbed; with blood, guts and disgusting pulsating growths covering the floor and walls. Anders stayed close to her side as they battled demons and abominations. It was good to see him again, she had missed him more than she realised. His touch, his voice, his presence. He was her best friend, her lover but he was family too. Between his escapes and punishments they hadn't seen each other very much over the past few years but when they were together they were inseparable.

It's why Ser Albert had threatened and abused her. Love was a dangerous emotion to have in the Circle; it gave the templars too much power over you. Ser Albert had abused that power like no other. It was her own stupid fault for falling in love with Anders of course. She had hoped to keep all of the abuse a secret from him. She hated seeing the guilt and pity in his eyes. She would need to discuss everything privately with him later, for now they had a job to do.

She explored Irving's office; it was strange seeing it trashed with papers and books all over the floor. She reached down to pick a few up. One of the tomes caught her eye. It was a Grimoire, the name on the front made her eyes bulge. It belonged to Flemeth. She thought about leaving it where it was but Morrigan would probably be curious to see such a thing, so she slid it into her pack.

They were nearly at the top of the tower now. Neri led the way through the next door. Cullen was standing behind an impressive looking barrier.

"This trick again? I know what you are, it won't work." He knelt. "I will stay strong."

The poor man must have been resisting demons and blood magic for days. "Don't you recognise me?" She asked.

"Only too well, how far they must have delved into my thoughts." He said rocking back and forth, every word a struggle. "Enough visions. If anything in you is human..kill me and stop this game." This was horrible. "You broke the others, but I will stay strong, for my sake, for theirs." He sobbed. "Sifting through my thoughts, tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have..." Her cheeks flushed. "Using my shame against me, my ill-advised infatuation with her, a mage of all things."

_Oh_, this explained his nervousness all those times. She was certain she was turning the colour of beetroot. She gave Anders a nervous smile.

"Did you know?" Anders smirked.

"No" She scoffed, sinking to her knees in front of the templar. "Cullen, it's really me. I came back."

"No! I won't listen to anything you say. Now be gone!" He said rising to his feet. "Still here? That usually works!" He panicked.

Neri rested her hand on the barrier. "Cullen. I'm sorry but I need to find Irving. Is he upstairs?"

"You cannot let them live. The noises coming from up there, they are too awful. They could all be possessed! You must end this, now!"

"Uldred will die, but I will not kill innocent mages unless I know they are lost."

"To ensure all blood mages and abominations are dead you must kill everyone!" He insisted.

"You've been through a lot. I get it. But I'm not killing innocents because of 'what ifs' or maybe's."

He scoffed, looking at her disgusted. "Do what you will." He waved her away.

They climbed the steps to the Harrowing Chamber. She wasn't sure what she expected to see. Blood magic was always talked about in hushed tones; she knew what mages who used it were capable of. She had seen Jowan do it, but his magic was nothing compared to what she was witnessing now...A mage was on his knees in the middle of the chamber, three abominations surrounded him, electrocuting him, as he wailed in pain. Uldred lifted his arms and they stopped, he approached the mage and held his chin up. "Do you accept the gift that I offer?" The mage nodded and fell to the floor.

"No!" She screamed but Uldred and the abominations blasted him with more magic and the mage began to transform, screaming as he did so. His skin burst, the muscle ripping out from under it, blood and new tissue covered much of its body and claws ripped out the end of its fingers. She stared on in horror.

"You sick fuck Uldred! You're fucking dead." She screamed as she flung him back into the wall.

The others charged in, attacking the abominations. Uldred stood back up, his own form shifting into a pride demon. Arietta had the Litany, that would help protect the other mages from such magic. She could see Irving, Solona, Titch and Finn off to the side. They looked in bad shape. "Wynne, protect them." She said pointing.

Arietta and Alistair were teamed up taking on some abominations; their dogs were attacking some walking corpses. Leliana was staying back and poking enemies with arrows, revealing their weak points.

Anders and Neri were taking on Uldred. The pride demon pounded its arms into the floor making her wobble. She slowed down time around its feet, making its movement slow and awkward. Anders hit it with electricity then she knocked it to the floor, it struggled back to its feet but Neri lifted into the air and slammed it back down again and again. "You always were an ugly son of a bitch Uldred!" She shouted as she trapped it in a crushing prison. Anders blasted it with more ice and lightning.

The others were still battling endless waves of demons but seemed to be handling themselves. Neri slashed at the demon, leaving deep gashes in its chest. It broke free of her crushing prison and tried to grab her, she rolled under its arm and brought her staff up, stabbing it deep in its armpit. It hit her with a mana drain, making her feel sick momentarily until her reserves returned. It tried to possess Sol but Arietta used the Litany, protecting her. Uldred chased her around the room, clearly pissed off, she kept tripping him up or knocking him back. Slowly the demons attacks slowed, it was tiring. She got in close and slashed her staff at it again, she didn't move fast enough though; it grabbed her round the waist and lifted her into the air.

It started squeezing her, she was inches from its ugly face as it stared at her, laughing. Her staff fell from her arms. Her ribs began to crack, sharp pain piercing her lungs. She could hear Anders shouting from below, she felt the icy cold air spreading across the demons arm, freezing it, he couldn't squeeze her any tighter but she was still stuck in its hand. She stared into the demons eyes one final time before setting her crushing prison on him, sending his body into spasm as she crushed him slowly.

"I said you were fucking dead." She growled as her arms cut through the fade and grabbed hold of the demons arms. She pulled with all her strength and ripped the demon in half. She fell to the floor and cried out in agony. She could barely breathe but Anders was over her, his long fingers pressing down on her chest, his cool magic flowing through her. She let out a soft moan as her ribs healed, her breathing improving almost immediately.

Sol sank down next to her, holding her hand. She had dark rings under her eyes and her black hair was a tangled mess, but she was alive.

"I never thought I'd see you again!" Sol punched her in the arm. "That's for leaving without saying goodbye." Then she kissed her on her lips. "That's for coming back and saving us."

Neri laughed, and then moaned as her ribs were still sore.

"Take it easy." Anders said.

"Why _are_ you back? Did you forget to bring a book with you or something?" Finn said with a weary smile.

"Well it certainly wasn't because I missed your stupid face, Flora." She said grinning.

"It's damn good to see yah Neri." Titch added.

They all walked down the stairs together, very slowly. They had all been through a lot. But Irving was alive, so the Circle was saved. Cullen was no longer a prisoner but he chose to walk ahead of everyone else. There had been so much hatred in his eyes earlier, now he just looked broken and scared. Arietta went off to talk to Greagoir some more, no doubt getting help for Connor and the Blight. But Neri had told them to go on ahead. She needed to speak to Anders before he went back to solitary.

She walked over to him, a couple of templars were guarding him, she nodded at them and they walked away. She took Anders down the curved corridors and into the apprentice quarters, back to their old bunk bed.

"Remember all the mischief we got up to in here? All the pranks we played?" She said. He smiled sadly at her. "Remember when we cast a sleeping spell on Sol and put her in bed with Titch? Her scream when she opened her eyes in the morning woke up the entire floor." She laughed, he just looked around the room numbly. Her shoulders sagged. "Anders?"

"Why aren't you mad at me?" He said suddenly.

"Well, give it time, we've only been back together for a couple of hours..." She said chuckling.

"I mean it Neri, Ser Albert beat you to a bloody pulp, daily, he _raped_ you, you miscarried because of that psychopath." He paced as he spoke. "And all because of _me._ I couldn't even be there for you because I was locked in a cell! But you're acting like everything is okay."

He wasn't usually this blunt, being stuck in solitary after hearing about all of that must have eaten away at him. She frowned, then grabbed his arm to stop him pacing. "It wasn't _because_ of you." She said staring up at him. "It was for you. I did it to protect you. It was my choice Anders. So stop looking at me like I'm a damn victim." She said pushing him back.

"I don't understand, why protect me? Everything you went through..." He said with a haunted look in his eyes.

"You know why." She stepped closer to him, he looked down at her.

She didn't want to say the words aloud, she felt too vulnerable to do that, but he knew. He kissed her on the lips, pushing her against the wall. His hands found her hair, he fisted a handful and she moaned against him. Her hands were running down his back, feeling every muscle until she found his ass and squeezed. They fit together so perfectly. She needed this, needed him, to help wash away the stain of Albert's touch on her skin.

"That's enough you two!" A templar shouted.

She groaned as they pulled away. "I'll see you in a few months, once you're out of solitary." She kissed him on the cheek before leaving.

"Neri, be careful out there." He said. She would always say that to him before he escaped.

She replied with his line. "The danger's half the fun." She said grinning.

* * *

**A/N: **Thank the Maker for skip the fade mods, eh?


	9. Cheers

******A/N: **Belongs to Bioware. Sorry about the delay!

Deadlines have been a bitch. And with exams soon things might be a bit slow.

Will try and get one out each week still :)

Thanks for following you lovely people you

And thank you Tb93 for kind of beta reading for me :P

* * *

**Cheers.**

"Do these things usually take this long?" Arietta asked Wynne.

The Circle mage had decided to help them stop the Blight. Ari was grateful for her help; they needed a healer in their group, especially with the amount of injuries everyone seemed to be receiving. Well, namely Neria. The elf was so squishy and she had a habit of taking on the biggest and strongest enemies by herself. The entire darkspawn horde... ogres, sloth and pride demons, and now she was in the Fade, battling demons trying to save Connor's life.

"It can take time. Neria is a powerful mage, she'll be fine." Wynne assured.

"Won't the Fade try to trick her though? Like the Sloth demon's nightmares?" Ari asked as she crouched down next to Neria's unconscious body.

"It might. But that's what her Harrowing prepared her for." The sides of her mouth crinkled as she smiled.

"What happens if she dies in the Fade?" Arietta stood back up.

"She would become tranquil, like Owain from the stock room. As I said though, she is strong."

Arietta nodded, that didn't stop her from pacing though. "What's the story between her and that mage, Anders then?" She asked curious. She'd never get a straight answer from Neria.

"That's not for me to say. They were close once, they seem to be still."

"Sorry, I wasn't looking for gossip; she just doesn't talk much, at least not about herself."

"She didn't always hide behind sarcasm. The Circle has soured her over the years. She needed thicker skin than most to get by. She has a good heart though. I am glad she found you and the Grey Wardens when she did."

Irving walked back over. "Connor has awoken."

"That's excellent news." Wynne said.

Neria began to wake up, she sat up slowly. "Where am I?" She said in a monotone voice.

Ari sucked in air through her teeth. "Neri?" She said, fear creeping into her voice.

"That is my name." Her eyes were emotionless as she stood up.

Wynne and Irving looked at one another worriedly.

"Is she tranquil?" Arietta panicked. _Maker._ What the hell happened? Could tranquility be reversed?

"Irving..." Wynne said sadly.

Irving frowned. "How did this happen?"

"I do not recall." Neri said calmly.

"What do we do? You can fix this right?" Ari asked desperately.

Neri burst out laughing and doubled over. "Shit, your faces." She said with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Arietta gasped. "You bitch!" She punched her in the shoulder.

"OW! Still sore here!" Neri grinned.

"That was a fucking awful thing to do, I thought you were tranquil!"

"Serves you right for talking about me while I'm stuck in the bloody Fade." Neria teased.

"Oh. You heard that?" Ari could feel her cheeks flushing.

Neri folded her arms. "I did."

"Neria, you should never joke around with something as serious as tranquillity…" Irving scolded. "I trust everything went according to plan?"

"Yup. Demon is dead. Saw Arl Eamon too, he's pretty confused. I couldn't really get through to him to tell him what was happening. Got any food?"

* * *

"Cheers!" Ari said, lifting her flagon to Alistair and the others. They were back in the village, sat around a table in the tavern. Bella had set them up with free drinks as thanks for saving the village. Arl Eamon was still unconscious, whatever magic the demon had used to keep him alive still held. They had decided to rest up for a day or two before setting out again. They were planning to go to Denerim where they hoped to get a lead on the Urn of Sacred Ashes; the Urn could apparently heal any sickness. It was a long shot, even Ari didn't think such a thing existed, but they needed the Arl to defeat Loghain, so she was willing to try just about anything.

"This is what alcohol tastes like?" Neria said, choking. "How do people drink enough to get drunk?" She said frowning down at the brown liquid.

"The key is to ignore the taste the first few rounds, after that you won't even notice it." Alistair explained as he chugged another.

"I'll open the wine instead." Wynne suggested.

Everyone was beginning to get quite tipsy, Arietta included. It felt like it had been ages since she'd just sat down, with all the running around they'd been doing since arriving at Redcliffe. It was nice to enjoy a drink or two with everyone.

"I love stroking them! Whenever I see one I simply have to touch it." Leliana was saying to Morrigan at the other end of the table. Arietta wasn't really sure _what_ they were talking about.

"You are delicious, why do you taunt me so?" Sten said, staring down at a cookie. She hadn't been able to get any cake for him yet but she had introduced cookies to him instead. His sweet tooth was adorable.

"So, if you grew up in the Chantry have you never..." Neri slurred.

Alistair's cheeks were flushed from the drink, he smiled. "Never... Never what? Had a good pair of shoes? Never seen a basilisk? Ate jellied-ham? Have I never licked a lamp-post in winter?" Arietta started giggling uncontrollably, he was so damn adorable.

"Sex! I mean sex." Neri squeaked.

"I myself never had the _pleasure._" He said that last bit looking at Arietta and her breath hitched. "What about the both of you, have you ever licked a lamp-post in winterrr?"

Neri snorted. "I've licked lamp posts and bed posts in winter, summer, autumn and sp-ring." She hiccupped the last one.

Alistair turned to look at her. "No I've never licked a lamp-post in winter." Arietta said timidly. He smiled back at her.

"R-really?" Neri said turning to her, she shuffled closer, her drink slopping out of its glass. "But you're hot! You never fooled around with anyone?"

"Nope." She took a long swig of her drink. It was by choice, sort of. There had been interest but she hadn't reciprocated it. She _did_ want a husband and children one day but she always believed that could wait. Now she was likely to die alone.

"You should have come to the Circle, everybody was kissing everybody." Neri said winking at her.

"Everybody?" Alistair questioned.

"Oh yes. Circle life is BOOORING!" She said loudly. "We all had these _moves_ to keep things interesting." She chuckled to herself.

What on earth did she mean by that? "What kind of _moves_?" Arietta asked.

"Well, Anders had his electricity thing, Sol had her tongue twister, and Titch did this hot and cold thing with his hands..."

"La-la-la, not listening!" Alistair said merrily.

Arietta blushed, that all sounded very... kinky. "What was _your_ move?"

Neri grinned at her. "It's a secret." Then she leaned in close, her face inches from her own. "Maybe I'll show you some time?" Ari's eyes bulged. She cleared her throat and decided to head outside for some fresh air. It was a cold night, winter fast approaching. She cupped her hands and breathed hot air into them.

"Everything okay?" Alistair from behind her.

"Mmm, just needed some fresh air." She smiled at him.

"I keep trying to figure out what Neria's move could be. I can only picture her throwing the other mages around and that doesn't sound very enjoyable. What do you think it is?"

"I have no idea. I'm sure she'd show you if you asked."

"I doubt it; she seemed more interested in showing you." He said smirking.

She glanced at him and smiled. "Too bad I don't swing that way then."

"That's good to know." He stood in front of her. "I wanted to thank you personally, for helping to save Connor." He said.

"Well, I didn't do much, you should be thanking Neri."

"I have, but you made the choice to go to the tower, you chose to save the town, you're our leader..." He said reaching out to touch her arm. His hands were warm against her cold skin he pulled away but she could still feel the heat. _I wonder if his whole body is that warm..._

She cleared her throat. "I'm glad I could help, really, it all turned out rather well." She gave him a smile as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Yes it did, now we just need to save Arl Eamon." He fidgeted for a moment before speaking again. "I wanted to give you this." He said handing her a rose.

She gasped. "It's beautiful Alistair."

"I picked it in Lothering, I remember thinking how can something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness. I probably should have left it alone but I couldn't. The darkspawn would come and destroy it."

She grinned up at him. "That's so sweet."

"I thought that I might give it to you. In a lot of ways I think the same thing when I look at you."

Despite the cold air she felt warm, his words filling her with happiness, or perhaps it was just the alcohol... "Thank you. That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"I'm glad you like it. I know things have been hard for you recently, I thought I could say something, tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this darkness." _Aawww. _Her heart started to flutter.

"OI love birds, we're heading back to the castle" Neria said behind them as she ran down the hill. "Woooo-Ah Fuck!" She said as she tripped over landing flat on her face. "I'm okay!" Ari and Alistair laughed as Neri got up and ran off toward the castle.

* * *

"WAKEY WAKEY!" Arietta shouted, the elf bolted upright.

"Ahhh" Neri said cowering away from the light and the noise. Ari grinned at her, she deserved it, instead of going to bed the elf had run around the castle singing a very _unholy_ version of the chant.

"How's your head?"

Neri rubbed at her temples. "It would be fine if you weren't yelling"

"I'm not yelling." She said. "So remember much from last night?" She folded her arms and cocked her head to the side.

"Not really..." The elf squinted up at her.

"Nothing about a certain _version_ of the Chant you were singing..."

"OH! You mean, 'Here lies the penis, the well of all sperm. From these salmon waters doth life begin anew. Cum for me, child, and I shall embrace you..."

Ugh, she did not need to hear this again. "That's quite enough."

"Oh but there's more!"

Ari glared at her. "Mind telling me what you're doing in the Arl's study?"

Neri looked around; just realising she was slumped against his book-case. "Hmm. That's a question for drunk me, she's not here now."

"Drink this. It'll help." It was her brother's hangover cure. It tasted vile but it usually did the trick.

Neri took a sip and coughed. "This is worse than that piss poor beer we had last night!"

"Tough. Drink up. We're leaving in a few hours."

Neri downed it, her face scrunched up at the taste. She slammed the mug down on the floor. "Happy?"

"Very."

"Oooh." The elf said pulling something out of her pocket. It still amazed her how such a short robe could have so many pockets hidden away. "I found this last night." She said handing her an amulet.

She frowned down at it. "Where did you find this?"

"Errrrr, in here? I think. I must have thought it was important if I pocketed it."

"It looks like the amulet Alistair described to me. It belonged to his mother but he chucked it at a wall and it broke."

"You should give it to him."

"I will." He would be very grateful to have this back, he regretted breaking it.

"You like him, don't yah?" The elf said wiggling her eyebrows at Ari.

"What?" She frowned.

"Ha, maybe you don't know it yet. But I can tell."

_Was it that obvious?_ "How can you tell?" She asked.

"Because I know what love is like." She said sadly.

This had something to do with that mage, they clearly both cared for one another a great deal.

"Anders?" Arietta asked. Neri nodded sadly. "What happened between the two of you?" She asked quietly.

"He's escaped six times." She said. Neri's quip back at the tower about him escaping in the wrong direction suddenly made a lot of sense. "It makes the templars look bad if their charges can escape that much." She smirked.

"One templar, Ser Albert, realised the fear of punishment wasn't going to make Anders stay, freedom was just too good to resist. Instead, he used me to try to persuade Anders to stay. He knew, he fucking knew how much I cared for him. He threatened to hurt Anders but I begged him not to. I took the beatings instead." She ran a hand through her hair.

"Couldn't you tell anyone?"

"I was scared. He was strong, a lot stronger than me. His fury was a terrible thing. He told me Anders would be beaten to a bloody pulp if I told anyone. So I kept it quiet. Kept it hidden, nobody noticed because I was still making jokes and laughing with people." She shrugged.

"What about Anders? Surely telling him would have made him stay?"

"You should have seen the grin on his face every time they dragged him back to the tower. It was a look of pure joy. No matter what the templars did, no matter how many times they caught him, those few hours or days or _weeks _outside were worth it. When you love someone their happiness means everything to you. How could I tell him? I would replace the templars as his jailer. I couldn't do that to him."

"What happened next?" Ari prompted.

"After Anders' sixth escape everything changed. Albert didn't think I was trying hard enough." She took a shaky breath. "He raped me."

Arietta sunk to her knees in front of her. "Neri..."

"It happened more than once. It became _normal." _She laughed bitterly. "Then I miscarried. Everyone found out. Long story short Albert got stripped of his rank and shipped off to Orlais. After everything he did to me, he still got to keep his life." She said with tears filling her eyes.

"I am so sorry..." She knew something bad had happened in the Circle... But to see her tell the story now was heart-breaking.

"I got used to shutting everything out. Not talking to people, hiding behind humour. I don't mean to do it, it's certainly not because I don't trust you. You're the closest thing I have to a family." She said smiling as she rubbed the tears from her cheeks.

Ari smiled at her. "It means a lot that you would trust me with this. Thank you for telling me."

She was about to hug her when Neri cleared her throat and stood up. "Don't we have a Blight to stop?"

* * *

**A/N: **We get a certain handsome elf joining our party very soon. Yipeee!


	10. Trust

**A/N: **Something, something Bioware, something, something ZEVRAN! :D

* * *

**Trust.**

"Oh thank the Maker! We need help." A woman said anxiously.

They were travelling toward Denerim; they had encountered many weary travellers fleeing from the darkspawn. Ari wasn't surprised when the woman explained that her wagon had been attacked. She was however surprised when that turned out to be an ambush. Their attackers were little more than mercenaries, no match for their group. The leader however, was a trained assassin.

Ari ducked under his blade, she could see the venom dripping from it. Poison was such a cheap trick. There was more skill involved in killing an enemy without such aids. Their blades clashed, ringing out across the ravine. She kicked him, slamming him into a caravan; he leapt over it and jumped off the other side. She ran around to face him, he was gone. Suddenly her leg was pulled forward, she fell on her ass. The assassin was on her in seconds, diving at her with both his daggers drawn, she kicked him hard, and then flipped back to her feet. Their blades clashed again. He was fairly skilled, he didn't _rely_ on poison, and he still knew how to use those daggers. The rest of her group were faring well, bodies were flying down into the ravine, Neri clearly having some fun up on the hilltop. Ari rolled left, then kicked her leg out, that time she tripped him up. She smashed the hilt of her blade into the assassin's head, knocking him out.

She had questions for this elf. Judging by his tanned complexion he was from a northern country, his armour looked expensive. That could make him an Antivan Crow. They were expensive. That more or less meant Loghain was behind this assassination attempt.

With the other enemies dead Ari kicked the assassin in the side. "Mmm, what? I- Oh, ohhhh" He mumbled. "I rather thought I'd wake up dead. Or not wake up at all as the case may be." He sighed. "But I see you haven't killed me yet."

"I have questions." Ari said folding her arms.

"Ahh, I am to be interrogated? Let me save you some time. My name is Zevran, Zev to my friends. I am a member of the Antivan Crows, brought here for the sole purpose of slaying Grey Wardens." He chuckled. "Which I have failed at sadly."

"With an ambush like that, are you really surprised you failed?" It was sloppy; the men hired were clumsy and slow. Only he had posed a threat and he was just one Crow. Loghain would have to try harder than that to kill them.

"Ha-ha-ha! Yes, perhaps I underestimated you. Being captured by my target seems a tad detrimental to my budding assassin career." He mused.

"Just a tad." Neri said with a chuckle.

She wanted confirmation of her suspicions. "Who hired you?" She asked.

"A very stern fellow in the Capital. Loghain I think his name was..."

"I thought as much. Does that mean you're loyal to him?"

"I do not know what his issues are with you, the usual I imagine. You threaten his power, yes? Beyond that, no. I am not loyal to him. I was contracted to perform a service."

"And now that you've failed that service?"

"That's between Loghain and the Crows. And the Crows and me."

"And between you and us?" Neri asked. Ari frowned at her; did she think to hire this murderer?

"Isn't that what we're establishing now my dear?" Zevran said grinning at her.

Ari groaned. She moved the conversation back to Loghain. "When were you to see him next?"

"I wasn't. If I had succeeded I would've returned home and the Crows would have informed your Loghain of the results, if he didn't already know. If I had failed I would be dead, or I should be. No need to see Loghain then."

"Why are you telling us all this?" Ari said raising an eyebrow. She had never interrogated someone so open and honest.

"Why not?" He laughed. "I wasn't paid for silence."

"Aren't you at least loyal to your employers?" She said disgusted.

"Loyalty is an interesting concept. If you wish and you're done interrogating me we can discuss it further."

"We're listening." Neri stepped in.

"Well here's the thing, I failed to kill you so my life is forfeit. That's how it works. If you don't kill me, the Crows will. Thing is, I like living and you are obviously the sort to give the Crows pause. So... let me serve _you_ instead."

He must be joking? "Can I expect the same amount of loyalty from you?" Ari asked.

"I happen to be a very loyal person, up until the point where someone expects me to die for failing. That's not a fault really."

He must think her a fool. "And what's to stop you from finishing the job later?"

"To be completely honest I was never given much of a choice regarding joining the Crows. They bought me on the slave market when I was a child. I think I paid my worth back to them plus tenfold. The only way out, however, is to sign up with someone they can't touch. Even if I did kill you now, they might just kill me on principle for failing the first time. Honestly, I'd rather take my chances with you."

Ari asked if the Crows would come after him, he said he could handle it and in return all he wanted was to live and at some point in the future to go free. He was a skilled fighter though, he also claimed to have other uses, and she had rolled her eyes at his mention of warming her bed.

"Is that before or after you stab me in the back?" She asked placing a hand on her hip.

He tutted. "The things you say, you must drive the men at home wild. So what shall it be? I'll even shine armour. You won't find a better deal, I promise."

"I think we should let him join us." Neri said.

"You trust him?" Ari said incredulously.

"Why not? It's like you said, we need all the help we can get. He betrays us, he dies. Simple really."

"You want to sleep with one eye open every night?" Arietta said.

"It's not like we get much sleep anyway." Neri grinned.

"I really don't think this is a good idea, he's an assassin!" Alistair said.

Ari couldn't believe they were seriously debating this. She had no reason to trust this Crow. Then again, it was Loghain that she wanted dead, Zevran was just a hired sword. He didn't have anything against Grey Wardens as far as she could tell. And he was a good fighter, should the crows come after them again he would be invaluable, unless he betrayed them. She'd just have to make sure he didn't.

"Come on Ari, we could use him." The mage pouted at her.

She was probably going to regret this. "Alright, I accept."

"I suggest you check your food and drink from now on." Morrigan said disapprovingly. Ari helped him to his feet.

"I hereby pledge my oath of loyalty to you, until such a time that you choose to release me from it. I am your man without reservation. This I swear." He bowed his head.

"Alright, let's move out." Ari ordered.

Neri walked ahead with Zevran and bombarded him with questions. "What's Antiva like? How many people have you killed? What poison is that coating your blades? What is that tattoo on your face? It looks Dalish, were you Dalish?"

Ari groaned. The mage was so inquisitive, almost annoyingly so.

"Aha, my dear, where do I begin..." They moved out of ear shot as Ari fell back to walk with Alistair. He smiled at her warmly; he was still wearing his mother's amulet around his neck. She had given it to him not long ago. He had been so grateful. She was glad to have given him that small token of her. She was hoping they could get him something better, his family. Or his sister at least, he told her she lives in Denerim. He had asked Ari if they could visit her on their trip to the Capital. Of course she'd agreed. Family was so important. Her shoulders sagged, she missed her parents so much and Fergus. She hadn't been able to look for him at all. And with the King's death it meant Highever was still in Howe's hands. She clenched her fists, her own home, all those memories and prized possessions in that traitor's hands. Of course she'd give up everything in that castle in a heartbeat to have her parents back.

"So tell me more about the Grey Wardens." She said to Alistair.

* * *

"You need to stay here." Arietta said to Neri.

It had taken them a month to reach the outskirts of Denerim. The roads were perilous. They found themselves constantly fighting darkspawn as they passed through the Lothering area. The ground there was black with the taint. Under Ari's insistence they had stopped several times to help more travellers, which had slowed their progress even more. Wynne had also collapsed on the road, she claimed she was fine but as a precaution they had slowed their pace considerably. She explained to the group that she had _died_ at the tower, but a spirit of Faith had saved her. Neri had questioned her a lot about it, clearly mystified by the idea of it all. Ari didn't know much about spirits or demons but Wynne seemed okay so Ari gave her some space.

"But-"

"I know you've never seen a city before. But you stand out more than me or Alistair. I'm sorry. It's too dangerous. If Loghain finds out we're here and captures us..."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm the spare Warden in case you nugrolls fuck up."

"We only need to split up for high risk quests. We're here for a few things and then we'll be gone again. Next time we're here I promise you can explore the city."

It was a precaution. Like Flemeth had said, they can't have all the Grey Wardens dying at once, someone needs to deal with all these darkspawn. She felt bad but her and Alistair needed to visit his sister in Denerim. They also needed to find Genitivi and stock up on supplies. She was only taking Alistair and Leliana with them for now. They all wore ragged cloaks over their armour and worn boots to blend in.

The city was bustling; the market in particular was a swarm of people crowding around stools with men and women harking their wares. She didn't come to Denerim very often but the city always reminded her of Highever. They were both coastal cities, although Highever was windier than Denerim as it was more exposed. She missed the beaches of her home city, the golden sand dunes stretched on for miles.

"That's my sister's house, I'm almost sure of it. Yes, this is the right address. She could be inside. Could we go and see?" Alistair asked.

"Wouldn't you rather go alone?"

"Do I seem a little nervous? I am. I really don't know what to expect. I'd like you to be there with me, if you're willing." He rushed. "Or we could… leave I suppose. We really don't have time to pay a visit do we? Maybe we should go."

"Alistair, she's your sister, don't you want to meet her?"

"Will she even know who I am? Does she even know I exist? My sister. That sounds very strange. _sister_. Siiiiiiiiiiister." He said as his cheeks flushed. "Hmm. Now I'm babbling. maybe we should go. let's go. Let's just go."

She couldn't imagine how weird this must be for him, only recently learning he has a sister, and now about to meet her. Ari was curious too of course, what this Goldanna was like, what she looked like, she could have children, Alistair could be an uncle...With all the horrible things that had happened recently, this might help make things at least a little better. They walked in through the door.

"Err Hello?" Alistair asked.

"Eh? You have linens to wash? I charge three bits on the bundle, you won't find better. And don't trust what that Natalia woman tells you either, she'd foreign and she'll rob you blind." Goldanna said. She was skinny like so many of the poor were.

"I'm..not here to have any wash done. My name's Alistair. I'm… well, this may sound sort of strange, but are you Goldanna? If so, I suppose I'm your brother."

"My what? I am Goldanna, yes. How do you know my name? What kind of tomfoolery are you folk up to?"

"He's telling the truth. Listen to him." Ari added.

"Look, our mother.. she worked as a servant in Redcliffe Castle a long time ago, before she died. Do you know about that? She-"

"You! I knew it. They told me you was dead! They told me the babe was dead along with mother, but I knew they was lying!"

"They told you I was dead? Who? Who told you that?"

"Them's at the castle! I told them the babe was the king's and they said he was dead. Gave me a coin to shut my mouth and sent me on my way! I knew it!"

"I'm sorry. I... didn't know that. The babe didn't die. I'm him. I'm your brother."

She scoffed. "For all the good it does me! You killed mother you did and I've had to scrape by all this time? That coin didn't last long and when I went back they ran me off!"

Arietta's jaw hung open, how could anybody blame a baby for killing its mother. "You can't blame Alistair for that!"

"And who in the Maker's name are you? Some _tart_, following after his riches, I expect?" Ari's eyebrows shot up, this was not what she expected Alistair's sister to be like... he was so kind and sweet and caring, this woman was rude and insensitive.

"Hey! Don't speak to her that way! She's my friend and a Grey Warden! Just like me."

"Oooohh I see. A prince and a Grey Warden, too. Well, who am I to think poorly of someone so high and mighty compared to me? I don't know you _boy_. Your royal father forced himself on my mother and took her away from me, and what to I got to show for it? Nothing. They tricked me good! I should have told everyone! I got five mouths to feed and unless you can help with that, I got less than no use for you."

"I... I'm sorry. I... don't know what to say."

Ari took a deep breath. "Goldanna, Alistair came here hoping to find his family."

"Well he found it. And what good is that to me? None, that's what, unless he can see to it that his family lives as it should!"

"I suppose maybe I could give her some money.. for my nieces and nephews? Fifteen sovereigns, maybe? Would you let me give her that?"

She wasn't sure if they should give her anything with her running her mouth like that, but the children were innocent in this, they could use the money. "Go ahead."

"Then here, Goldanna, take this money. I know it's not much, but.."

"You, a prince, marching in here with your fancy armour and such, and this is all you got to offer? You must think I'm very stupid."

"No wait, I don't think that at all, I want to help, if I can.."

"You want to help? You go to whatever high-and-mighty folks you run with, and you tell them you've got nephews and nieces that aren't living as they're a right to! You do that!" She snarled at him.

Arietta was usually very patient, but she'd had enough of this woman. "In case you haven't noticed there's a _Blight_ savaging Ferelden at the moment. We have no allies since Loghain betrayed the King and blamed it on us. We're doing the best we can. Grey Wardens aren't rich or powerful. There's only a few of us left trying to put the damn country back together again. You're fifteen sovereigns richer than you were ten minutes ago, so show some gratitude. We're more likely to help you later if you're pleasant to us now." She turned to Alistair. "I think we're done here?"

They left.

"Well, that was... not what I expected. To put it lightly. I'm sorry I gave her any money at all. This is the family I've been wondering about all my life? That gold-digging harridan? I can't believe it. I guess I was expecting her to accept me without question. Isn't that what family is supposed to do? I..I feel like a complete idiot."

She felt terrible. They never should have visited her, what a disaster. "You don't need her, you have others who care for you."

"Such as? The only person who ever cared about me was Duncan. And he's gone."

Was he really so blind to her feelings? "I care about you."

He blushed. "I... thank you. I'm glad you came with me. Let's just go. I don't want to talk about this anymore."

* * *

They picked up a few new items in the market, more poultices, bandages, some better lock picks. A Knight on the far side of the market stopped them.

"I recognise you. From Ostagar. Andraste's blood. You're a Grey Warden. Duncan's apprentice. You killed my friend. And good King Cailan! I demand satisfaction Ma'am." He said angrily.

"The Grey Wardens did no such thing. It was Loghain that betrayed the King Ser." She said calmly.

"You dare smear Teyrn Loghain's word!"

"I'm not lying. I am Bryce Cousland's daughter, if you knew of my father you would know he was an honourable man. That beacon was lit, by _my_ hand. Loghain pulled out and left the King to die. The only reason half the army escaped was because of Duncan and another Warden holding back the entire horde. Loghain killed Cailan as surely as the Orgre that crushed him. Now he is in charge of Ferelden but ignores the Blight to the south. Use your wits Ser, why would the Grey Wardens aid the darkspawn?"

"I-very well." He shook his head. "I cannot duel someone who might be guiltless. Leave Warden, but if I find proof." He pointed at her. "We will meet again."

She rolled her eyes as she walked away, Loghain certainly had a lot of loyal followers, he could have killed the king in front of them with his bare hands and most of them would still support him, their love and admiration for him had made them blind to any other point of view. It would make things much harder for them going forward. They would need undeniable evidence of Loghain's treacheries to win the Landsmeet, but first they would need Eamon.

They entered Genitivi's house.

A man named Weylon greeted them, he explained that he was Genitivi's apprentice, he had concerns that something had happened to his mentor. However it quickly became clear that this Weylon fellow was hiding something, her interrogation caused him to sweat and he was rubbing his hands together nervously. She decided to take a look around.

"What are you doing? You're not supposed to go in there." Arietta touched the door handle "No! You're not supposed to go in there!" He hit her with a bolt of lightning. Ari crumpled to the floor as Leliana and Alistair laid into him, ending his life. Alistair helped her to her feet, her body still in spasm slightly.

"Shall we go see what he was hiding then?" Ari asked. They entered the back room, Ari gagged at the smell of a rotting corpse. "The real Weylon?"

"It certainly looks that way." Alistair said.

"Why kill him? What are they hiding?" Leliana asked.

They found some papers in the back room, with a town called Haven marked on it. It was the other side of Ferelden, nestled in the mountains. She'd never heard of such a place and her geography was usually very good.

They headed back to the market. "I guess it's time to do some more shopping? It'll be winter soon, I want to buy everyone warmer clothes."

"Ooooh, does that mean we can all wear fur coats?" Leliana said. "I saw some beautiful coats at a stall over there."

"Sounds perfect."

"At least we're not shoe shopping." Alistair commented.

"Oh we'll be doing that too." Ari smirked.

"_Wonderful_." He was clearly still in a bad mood but she decided not to press him on it.

The stools were brimming with cloaks, coats, jackets and knitwear. "Oh these are just darling!" It was a pair of grey gloves, fur-lined on the inside, leather on the outside, perfect for gripping a bow in the winter months. "They suit you, we'll buy them."

"What about this for Neri?" Leliana said holding up some thick leggings.

"I don't know if she'll wear them, she's been sauntering around in those short robes for weeks now, but we'll buy them anyway."

"I think those robes are beautiful, the patterns on them are so lovely. This undercoat will match them perfectly!" She said grabbing a long blue coat.

"Alright, Alistair, see anything you like? What about for Sten, any ideas?"

"Errr, I suppose this scarf is rather nice..And perhaps that hat for Sten, it will sit under his helmet nicely."

"Someone has a good eye for fashion." Leliana laughed.

"Yes well, Templars dress very fashionably, it must have been ingrained into me." He said touching a fur coat.

He had told Arietta about his templar training and about the tunics they wore when not in the clunky plate armour. She couldn't really imagine Alistair in anything _but_ armour although it certainly wasn't for lack of trying.

They ended up buying a lot of new stuff and probably spent far too much money, but if it kept them warm and safe these next few months then it was worth it. They left shortly after, she hadn't seen any of Loghain's men eyeing their group suspiciously but she didn't want to risk it.

* * *

Back at camp Alistair pulled her aside. "Ari, I just wanted to say, thank you for being at my side at Goldanna's. You're a true friend. I just wanted to tell you that."

"We're in this together Alistair." She said touching his arm.

"That we are." He grinned. "I have your back, you know that right?"

She nodded. "And I yours."

She walked over to Neri who was sat grooming Blossom and Barkspawn.

"How are they?" She asked the elf.

"I think they're in love. They went for a little _frolic_ earlier. I followed. Barkspawn took her down by the river; they had a drink together before running up the stream and out into a field, where they started rolling around in the tall grass. Then they chased each other like two love-sick teenagers. When they finally noticed me watching they stopped dead in their tracks and slowly walked back to me, heads lowered."

"What!? Really?"

"No. They're dogs Arietta." Neri said deadpan.

"Oh." Her cheeks flushed. She needed to stop taking everything Neri said so seriously, she was constantly pranking people.

"They've been rolling in mud and barking at stuff. So I decided to give them a bath."

"So, they're not in love?"

"Don't think so. Barkspawn is far too manly for all that soppy bullshit anyway. Aren't you boy, yes you are." She said rubbing his head. He barked happily in return.

She decided to change the subject. "I bought you this." Ari said to her as she handed her a gift wrapped present. She had already given her the leggings, gloves, scarf and undercoat so the elf looked perplexed.

"What is it?"

"Open it and you'll see." The elf tore into the wrappings and gasped at its contents.

"Arietta this is... Thank you." She said sincerely. It was a tome she had found in the Wonders of Thedas store, it was titled 'Mages and magics of Thedas'. Neri had mentioned not knowing much about her school of magic, force mages were less common in the Circle, as most apostates learnt such spells as as they could be performed without a staff.

"No problem. I figured it would give you something to read while you're keeping your eyes open at night watching our lovely assassin friend." She joked.

Neri snorted. "He's not so bad once you get to know him. He's a shameless flirt though." She said as she smelt the pages of the tome. Her face lit up with joy.

"Then I'm sure you'll get a long great." Ari said sticking her tongue out.

"Mmm. We'll see." Neri said more seriously.

"Would you..."

"Sleep with him?" Neri looked up at her.

"Yeah."

She frowned. "No. I don't think so."

"You're not attracted to him?"

"It's not that. I haven't been with anyone since... Well, you know. I don't know if I could." She inhaled deeply.

"No, I get it. I'm here if you need to talk."

It was quite recent, something like six months ago that Neri had been abused and miscarried. Arietta couldn't imagine how hard something like that would be to come to terms with.

"Thanks. What about you and Alistair? You guys talk a lot. And I've seen the way he looks at you..."

"I- don't know. I care about him. It's scary just how much. But stopping the Blight is-"

"Who cares?" Neri interrupted. "Do what _you_ want. You follow your head and gut too much. Listen to your heart for a change."

"That's not an easy thing for me to do." Ari said. Her first crush had only dated her for her family's wealth, her second had pushed her in the dirt when she told him she fancied him, the most recent, Colin had asked her out, showering her in flowers and playing her sweet songs on his harp, but it had all been a trick, a game, he wanted to bed her, nothing more. Luckily she had overheard him saying as much and confronted him. He hit her hard but Fergus intervened. She promised herself to never be defenceless again, physically as well as emotionally. But Alistair had broken those defences down and wormed his way deep inside her heart.

"It isn't for anyone." Neria smiled sadly.


	11. Weird

**A/N: **Bioware owns all.

_If you go down to the woods today you're sure of a big surprise. _

* * *

**Weird. **

"So, do you want to lead this one?" Arietta changed the subject. Her cheeks were rosy after Zevran had commented on her perky little behind just moments ago.

"Had enough of everyone staring at your ass?" Neri said smirking.

"Actually no, I thought maybe the Dalish would listen to you..." Instead of going straight to Haven to find Genitivi they had stopped off in the Brecilian forest in search of the Dalish; their next treaty.

"It's the ears isn't it?" She said shaking her head.

"Well, they might trust you more?" Ari said shrugging.

"They're Dalish Ari, they don't trust anyone and you're the diplomatic one, you lead."

A group of Dalish hunters slid out from the trees, their arrows trained on them.

"Hold it right there, outsider. The Dalish have camped in this spot I suggest you go elsewhere and quickly." A blonde elf said as she approached. Beautiful tattoos covered much of her face. But Neri wasn't too fond of her tone.

"Actually, we were looking for you." Ari said.

"I find that hard to believe. What business could we Dalish have with a group like yours?" She said waving her hand in Ari's face.

Neri rolled her eyes._ Well if you just let us explain..._

"We are Grey Wardens. We need to speak to your leader." Arietta said tolerantly.

"Grey Wardens? Very well, I will let our Keeper decide what to do with you, but remember our arrows are still trained on you." _Oh charming_.

They followed her into their camp; it looked more settled than Neri thought it would be. The grass under their benches was wilting, turning a sickly yellow and there were abandoned fire pits dotted around the camp. She could hear coughing and cries of pain, yet nobody looked alarmed by the noises. Some sort of sickness had taken them perhaps? And that was the reason for their staying she guessed.

They approached a tall, bald elf, he squinted at them as they drew nearer. His robes matched his surroundings, a mix of yellow and green.

"Mmm. I see we have guests." He observed. "Who are these strangers Mithra?" He asked suspiciously. She let out a sigh. _Why don't they ask us directly?_ It was probably a good thing Neri wasn't leading this discussion; she would have lost her patience by now. "I have precious little patience and less time to spend on outsiders today." He finished. _Join the club_.

"I understand, but they claim to be Grey Wardens." The pretty elf explained.

"Then you are here about the Blight?" He said. Arietta nodded. The Keeper told Mithra to return to her post before continuing. "Now, allow me to introduce myself. I am Zathrian, this clans Keeper. Its guide and preserver of our ancient lore. And you are?"

"My name is Arietta, a pleasure to meet you. This is Alistair and Neria, they are Grey Wardens too."

He nodded a greeting at them. "I sensed the Blight's corruption some time ago, I would have taken the clan north by now, had we the ability to move, sadly as you can see, we do not."

"Yes, it seems like you've had your own troubles." Alistair commented.

"Along with everyone else in Ferelden it seems." Neri added.

"I imagine you are here regarding the treaty we signed, centuries ago?" He lowered his head, his expression pained. "Unfortunately we may not be able to live up to the promise we made. This will require some explanation. Please, follow me."

Lying on make shift cots were several elves, writhing in pain; others were lying on the floor on thick blankets. There were so many. Some were quiet but visibly trembling, the sicker ones were crying out in pain. Some healthy elves were tending to them but it didn't appear to be helping much. She lifted her scarf slyly to cover her mouth. She hoped it wasn't contagious.

"We did not expect the werewolves would be lying in wait for us..." Zathrian explained. Neri's scarf dropped back down as she did a double take, _werewolves?_ Did such things even exist? She continued to frown through his explanation. Due to all the sick Zathrian pointed out that they were in no condition to uphold their obligations. She felt bad for their situation but she wasn't sure why they didn't just put these dying elves out of their misery and leave.

When they had discussed their plan to stop the Blight she had assumed gathering the treaties would be the easiest part, but that was now proving to be the most bothersome. Every group they had encountered was having their own difficulties. Abominations, blood mages, walking dead, werewolves, poison. It was never-ending. Arietta of course began asking if there was any way to cure the elves. Neri would need to ask her one day why she felt the need to help every person she met. Most people had motives and reasons, nobody was completely good or completely evil. Most were shades of grey. Even Loghain probably had his reasons; perhaps he really thought Orlais was the bigger threat.

Zathrian told them that ending the curse would be no trivial task.

"We're good at non-trivial tasks." Arietta said sweetly.

Neri shook her head. "Ari, we're talking about werewolves here! Actual werewolves." Was she the only person in the group bothered by that?

Arietta waved her off. "Their people lie here in agony, we have to help. Plus we need them to stop the Blight."

Neri groaned. She always _had_ to do the right thing didn't she?

"Deep in the forest lies a great wolf, we call him Witherfang. It was in him that the curse originated. And through his blood that it has spread. If he is killed and his heart brought to me, perhaps I could destroy the curse." Zathrian said.

They agreed to help, or rather Ari did. She then went off to stock up on supplies.

Neri found herself sat with Zevran as they ate some dried meat around a dim fire; more smoke than flame. "Do you feel any kinship to the Dalish?" She asked.

"Not really, I mean my mother was Dalish or so I was told. She had fallen in love with an elven wood-cutter and accompanied him back to the city. Leaving her clan behind for good. And there of course the wood-cutter died of some filthy disease and my mother was forced into prostitution to pay off his debts. Oldest tale in the book." He said as he chewed down on a piece of meat.

"Really? I hadn't read that one before." She smiled.

"My, that is surprising! You're the fastest reader I know, what are you, half way through that book Arietta bought you?" He chuckled. "I never knew my mother of course, although her Dalish origins were always a point of fascination for me. Through all the years of my Crow training the one thing of my mother's that I possessed was a pair of gloves. They were of Dalish make, I knew that much. And beautiful. I had to keep them hidden of course as we were not allowed such things. Eventually they were discovered and I never saw them again." He exhaled. "What about you?"

"Oh. No. They're far too serious and snobby for my liking." She paused. "I prefer my elves mischievous and flirty." She said with a wink.

"Which is why we get along so very well, my dear." He said grinning.

She liked Zevran, despite his cocksure attitude, he was sweet. He didn't judge or push either. She often found herself in his company happily listening to one of his stories or jokes, it also helped he was easy on the eyes.

"Mind if I join you?" Leliana said as she sat down on the ground opposite them. Her hair was pulled back in a bun today, out of her face for the inevitable fighting they'd have to do soon.

"My dear, you are always welcome with us." Zevran said seductively.

Leliana and Neri both rolled their eyes.

She liked Leliana well enough; she was another 'save the kittens' sort, always doing the right thing. Not that there was anything wrong with that. Neri wasn't exactly evil. She was maybe just more pragmatic than the idealistic duo that was Arietta and Leliana, Wynne made another great addition to _that_ grouping. That reminded her, she needed to speak to the clan's story-teller, ask him about Aneirin. He had been Wynne's apprentice, her one regret. He had fled the tower after she treated him poorly, she was too stern and impatient when all he needed was comfort and time to settle into the Circle. He wanted to reach the Dalish but Wynne assumed he was dead. Neri was hoping he wasn't. Finding out about Wynne's _passenger _had shocked her. This spirit of Faith, keeping her alive. She knew little of such things, it was why the book Ari had purchased for her was such a wonderful gift, there was an entire chapter devoted to spirits and possessions, fascinating stuff. It didn't help much in explaining why this Spirit had chosen to help Wynne though.

"So are you ready to fight werewolves?" Leliana asked.

"Most assuredly not. It should be fun, yes?" Zevran said.

"Your idea of fun is very different from mine own." Neri said.

"HA! Don't tell me you don't love the mystery? The adventure? The _danger_? There's a thrill to it, the rushing blood, dripping sweat, the dance between you and your opponent."

"Killing is not an art." Leliana said folding her arms.

"Of course it is! The precision, the care, the time spent planning every move..."

"You just managed to make fighting and art sound really boring, well done." Neri said.

* * *

After what seemed like hours they were finally entering the forest. The cold damp air clung to her robes as the gloom rose up around them. She always imagined forests to be happy places, full of life, but this felt the opposite of that. The trees pressed down on them, like they wanted to strangle them all, and there was no birdsong or the chirping of insects. The only noise appeared to be a nearby waterfall.

They didn't get very far before a bear and some wolves attacked. They were easy to kill, with such a large group. Seeing bears always reminded her of Lothering. Of the day her life changed forever. She stabbed her staff through its chest as it reared then crashed back to the ground.

Not long after a group of werewolves confronted them. They stood on two feet and _spoke_.."The white wolves have spoken truly my brothers and sisters" It grunted. "The Dalish send a human of all things to repay us for our attack. To put us in our place. What bitter irony."

After Arietta had recovered her wits she replied. "You speak? I wasn't aware werewolves had such intelligence."

"We are beasts. But we are no longer mindless. Let that thought chill your spine." He said. Neri snorted. "You speak to Swiftrunner." She tried to hold in her laugh but she couldn't contain it. "Why are you laughing? I lead my accursed brothers and sisters. Turn back now! Go back to the Dalish and tell them that you have failed."

"Why don't you run _swiftly_ back to your cave or whatever hole you crawled out of?" Neri said as she moved her hand behind her, Zevran low-fived it.

Ari shot her a look. "I would prefer to talk to you, I mean you no harm." She said calmly.

"Was it not Zathrian who sent you? He wishes only our destruction! Never to talk."

"You talk of Zathrian as if you know him?" Ari's hands were on the hilts of her blades, she may keep a calm exterior but none of them knew how this would go, it was wise to be ready for anything.

"We have never met, he and I. He would not survive the experience. I swear it." Swiftrunner growled.

Arietta persuaded them that they didn't want to fight, but she told them they were not leaving either. The werewolves left them alone.

"This forest is huge. We should split up." Arietta said.

* * *

Neri ended up with Wynne, Barkspawn and Leliana. They were going to look for Aneirin, who as it turned out was in fact alive and somewhere in these woods.

They battled a lot of werewolves, they had to be wary about being bitten so Barkspawn charged in and kept their attention while Neri and the others picked them off. She was just wishing for a change in enemy when the darkspawn started scratching at her mind.

"Oh joys." It was a big group, with all sorts of dead things joining them for the fight. Neri put the ogre in a crushing prison while they took out all the smaller more annoying foes. Leliana finished off the ogre with a couple of arrows right through its skull.

"What's this?" Neri said pointing to a gravestone. She couldn't read the inscription on it, too dusty.

"I don't know. But it may not be wise to touch-" Wynne said, Neri touched it, rubbing the dust away.

Smoke began to swirl around their feet, then a Revenant appeared.

"I told you not to touch it." Wynne remarked.

Before Neri could even react it was dragging her across the grass toward it. She lifted her staff to stab at it but it flung it aside. "Ah." She rolled away from its blade, and then kicked it in the knee cap. She ducked under another swing, an arrow shot passed her ear and hit the Revenant in the neck but it didn't even flinch. She flung it back with her magic but it knocked her down again. Her head was spinning. It loomed over her. Lifting its massive sword high, about to drop it down on her, for a second it had Albert's face and she froze up. There was a flash of brown as Barkspawn tackled the Revenant to the ground. He tore into it, shredding any scrap of skin he could sink his teeth into. Suddenly he yelped in pain, the Revenant threw him off.

"No!" Neri shrieked. She lifted the Revenant into the air and smashed it into the hillside; she picked up its fallen sword and impaled the Revenant on it. Barkspawn was lying on the floor whimpering. She ran to his side. "Hey boy, it's okay, hey you're alright buddy?" She rolled him over, he squealed, there was a deep wound in his side. She cursed. _Why did she freeze up! Why, why, why_? "Try not to move, that's it, good boy. Wynne?" She said desperately, as he writhed in pain.

"Let me see." Her hands were on his wound, her healing magic spreading out across him, she shook her head. "I am not versed in animal healing Neri."

"I am." A man's voice said from behind them. It was a Dalish elf with bright red hair. She vaguely remembered him...

"_Aneirin_." Wynne gasped.

"It's good to see you Wynne. Let me take a look." He said as he knelt at Barkspawn's side. "Hmm."

"What? Is it bad? Can you help him?" She said frantically.

He started casting a spell, his magic glowed fiercely then Barkspawn stopped whimpering and slowly he lifted his head, panting heavily. "Better. Mabari are a strong breed." Aneirin said patting the dog. "Take it easy though boy." He stood up.

Neri let out the breath she'd been holding and hugged Barkspawn tightly. "Thank you!" She said to Aneirin as Barkspawn happily licked her face.

"I thought they had killed you." Wynne said to him.

"They very nearly did. The Templars found me while I was searching for the Dalish. They ran me through and left me for dead."

"I brought this on you." Wynne said putting a hand on her head. "I was a dreadful mentor, harsh and impatient. I am sorry for the way I treated you."

"I've put that behind me, and you should too. I didn't fit in with the Templars and your Chantry. My path lay elsewhere."

Neri fed Barkspawn some jerky, he munched it down quickly as Aneirin and Wynne continued conversing. It seemed Wynne needn't regret the way she treated him, he was happy here, in the forest.

They left him to find the others. Barkspawn walked slowly at her side, she had ordered him to take it easy, no fighting unless he absolutely had to. Farther down the path they found a camp site. Neri poked around a few things and suddenly an old man appeared. She could feel the magic on him, he was an apostate.

"Oh dear, oh dear." He said shaking his head. "Not a werewolf and not a spirit, what are the woods coming to?"

"What are you babbling about?" She asked the strange man.

"Questions, questions always questions!" He said shaking his hands. "They say it was questions that made me mad, it'll do the same for you. Ask a question and you'll get questions. But give and answer and you'll receive the same. Oh I do so love to trade."

"You want me to answer a question?" She asked confused.

"Wouldn't I have to ask you a question first?" He said stroking his beard.

Her eyebrows knitted together. "Isn't that a question?"

"Would you know a question if it was asked?"

"I should certainly hope so." She said folding her arms.

"No. That is not a question. And if it be an answer it be an answer to a question I did not ask. Have you no sense for the rules?" He waved his arms around frantically.

"Be careful Neri, he is a mage, driven mad perhaps but still powerful." Wynne warned.

"No fair bringing mages to a guessing game. Will you play by the rules or not?"

"Then..would you like to ask me a question?" She said, tapping her foot.

"I think it is your turn to ask is it not?"

"So... you live in a tree stump?"

Neri asked him a number of questions, not wanting to risk a fight with Barkspawn still weak. She didn't want to fuck up again. She found at that a magical barrier would prevent them from reaching the Witherfang's lair. The Hermit could get them through it but they needed to kill a tree that had been "bothering" him. She assumed he meant it was giving too much shade, or perhaps he kept tripping on its roots. That was until the trees started attacking them.

"Walking trees? _Really_? What next? Singing nugs?" She said as she ducked under one of the trees stumpy legs.

"I would prefer that to killer trees!" Leliana said as one of the tree's roots wrapped around her. Neri blasted the tree with kinetic energy knocking it on its..trunk? The roots around Leliana receded and she was able to cut into the tree with her daggers.

"This is so fucking weird." Neri said. She knew spirits could possess most things but she couldn't see why they'd ever want to be a tree.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll see much stranger things on our travels." Wynne added as she healed a few cuts on Leliana.

"Maker, I hope not, all this crazy is making my head hurt." Leliana said.

* * *

They found Arietta and Alistair by a stream; they all stopped to fill their canteens.

"So we have to kill some tree to get through this magic barrier..." Neri explained.

"Really? Because a talking tree asked us to retrieve his acorn from some crazy old man." Alistair said. _Talking_ tree_..._ Well that really shouldn't have surprised her.

"I would prefer not to kill anyone; can you take us to this man?" Arietta asked.

"Oh, do we have to go see him again?" Neri moaned.

Leliana led them back to the old hermit, he was still babbling to himself. Arietta traded him a Dalish book for the acorn, much to Neri's disappointment. They returned to the big tree. It was huge, with long twigs for fingers and deep hollows for eyes. A monstrous looking thing, it would have been scary if it weren't talking in rhymes.

"My joy soars to new heights indeed; I am reunited with my seed. This cannot pass without reward; I shall give what little I can afford. Keep this branch of mine with thee, and pass throughout the forest free."

"That weirdness scale we were talking about earlier? Yeah this thing just took the cake."

"The world is certainly full of marvellous, unexpected creations, each day we see something that we never thought possible." Wynne said in awe.

"Wow." Leliana muttered.

They reunited with Morrigan, Zevran and Sten and finally they were able to get through the barrier.

Swiftrunner greeted them again. "The forest has not been vigilant enough. Still you come. You are stronger than we could have anticipated. The Dalish chose well. But you do not belong here outsider. Leave this place!" He growled as more of his brethren joined him.

"Why won't you let me try to settle this dispute?" Arietta asked.

"You are as treacherous as the Dalish. We will not allow harm to come to Witherfang."

The werewolves attacked. Neri threw two back as Arietta and Alistair took on Swiftrunner. Ari got a few good cuts in and Swiftrunner began backing away. A white wolf tackled Arietta to the ground and barked at her. It let out a terrifying howl before running into the ruins with the other werewolves.

"You okay?" Alistair said helping Ari up.

"Yeah fine, thank you. I guess we're going in there?"

* * *

The ruins were dark and cold, the rattle of their armour and footsteps echoed around the big chambers and down the long corridors as they explored the ruins. There were cobwebs everywhere, all the old furniture was overturned or broken and many of the steps crumbled or cracked. The creatures the werewolves were bunked with weren't very nice either, mostly reanimated corpses. She kept her staff lit as they walked; she wasn't a fan of the dark. Albert always dragged her to the quietest, darkest rooms of the tower to have his way with her. She shuddered and walked straight into a cobweb, the thick sticky substance wrapped around her hair. She screamed as a giant spider dropped from the ceiling, hissing. It was almost as big as Barkspawn, its huge hairy body and beady eyes made her scream some more as she tried desperately to untangle herself. Alistair slammed his shield into it, and then plunged his sword through its eyes. Her shoulders sagged; she went back to untangling herself.

"Sticky situation you found yourself in." He quipped as he helped her with the rest.

"I was just testing the sensitivity of the webs."

"Riiiight. And the hearing capabilities of everyone in these ruins?"

"Yes that too. I'm glad to report you all have excellent hearing." She said looking at the group that had gathered around her all chuckling to themselves.

"I never would have guessed you were scared of spiders until now." Arietta said.

"Oh, like anyone's a fan!"

They headed deeper into the ruins, the sounds of growls and howls echoed off the decaying walls. They entered a big chamber.

"Traps everywhere. Watch your footing." Zevran warned.

They heard the beating of wings above them, a gush of wind blew Neri's long curls into her eyes, they all turned to look up just as a dragon landed in front of them.

"Oh good, I was just wondering when we'd be attacked by dragons." Morrigan said.

"These ruins wouldn't want to disappoint you, now would they?" Zevran said laughing.

"Well they have. They are most unpleasant." Sten groaned. He was probably just annoyed that he had to crouch under a lot of the doorways.

Lucky for them this dragon was just a baby and quickly died. They navigated the rest of the ruins, mostly fighting corpses and spiders. There was an Arcane Horror in one of the chambers; Neri had shielded Sten and Alistair as they fought it.

They stopped in front of a huge hole in the ground. Howls and shrieks echoed out of it, sending shivers down her spine. No doubt it led to the werewolves' lair.

"So what? We just jump down there and hope there's a nice pillow to land on?" Alistair asked.

Arietta dropped a stone down it. They heard the clunk as it hit the bottom. "See, it's not that far..."

"Not going first!" Alistair said.

Neri rolled her eyes and jumped in, the others followed.

It was eerily quiet as they walked toward the next door. "Ambush." Arietta guessed.

Several big werewolves charged at them. Sten took the left side as Arietta and Alistair took the centre and right. There were a lot more than any of them expected. Neri shielded Alistair as he taunted more to attack him instead of others. Sten was on the far left, back against a wall with three wolves surrounding him, despite that he was holding his own and the werewolves were clearly weary of him. Zevran was in and out of the shadows as he danced from one enemy to another slicing and stabbing. Leliana, Morrigan and Wynne were in the doorway, safe, fighting from afar. Arietta had disappeared from view, no doubt sneaking around for a better angle. Neri lifted a werewolf up, slamming it into the ceiling. Leliana filled it with arrows and she let its corpse fall to the floor, landing on another werewolf. Neri thrust her staff into its neck. A scream erupted over the feral grunting of the werewolves. Neri scanned the room desperately. Her eyes landed on Arietta just as Alistair screamed out too. Neri froze, unable to comprehend what she was seeing.

Arietta was on the floor, a huge black werewolf was tearing into her shoulder, and Alistair slammed into it. Neri's eyes found Arietta again; Wynne pushed past her and ran to her side. She could see Ari's hand, covered in blood as she lifted it from her wound. Everything moved slowly, she tried to make her feet move but they wouldn't budge. Noise became distorted, their shouts and cries muffled, the sound of her own heart much louder in her ears. A werewolf swiped at her, she moved back too slowly, its claws caught the skin of her cheek. She didn't feel the pain. But the rage set in. Everything suddenly focused. Sharply. She moved with unbelievable speed and stabbed her staff right into its mouth as it gaped at her shocked. She ran to Arietta's side.

"I can't heal this... the curse is already within her blood, it's stopping me from fully closing the wound." Wynne said already exhausted from trying everything she had.

"No!" Alistair said shaking. "There must be more you can do!? You have to help her!" He begged.

Arietta bit down another scream as Wynne tried to close the wound again.

Neri's mind was racing, Arietta was dying, or worse she'd turn into one of those_ things_. "We have to kill Witherfang. It's the only way." Neri said. It's what they came here for after all. "Wynne you keep her alive until I have that wolf's heart in my hands, understand?"

"I'll do my best. She's losing a lot of blood though..." Wynne said as she wiped the sweat from her brow.

"Then we need to move. Alistair carry Ari, _carefully_. Wynne stay at her side. Sten take point with Zevran and Blossom. Leliana watch our back. Morrigan, stay with me and Barkspawn."

Arietta pulled at her robes, getting her attention. "Don't kill...werewolves..." She said feebly.

"That might not be possible." Neri tried to explain.

"_Please_." She begged as she passed out.

They headed deeper into the ruins. Neri's formation seemed to be doing the trick. Sten and Zevran were very good at killing most anything that came at them and Morrigan and Neri's magic and Leliana's arrows killed the rest.

"I'm right here; it's going to be okay. Please be okay. Please, _please_, don't die." Alistair whispered to the unconscious Arietta.

Bile rose in her throat, everything was still spinning. Arietta was the toughest fighter in their group, this just didn't happen. She never got hurt. But she was. _Maker_. If they couldn't cure this...if they couldn't save her...She squeezed her eyes shut.

She felt a hand touch her arm. Leliana's. "She'll be okay." She tried to reassure but there was fear in her eyes too. They both glanced back to Arietta, her skin was a sickly cloudy colour and beads of sweat were dripping off her.

"Morrigan, can you try to cool her down?"

The witch nodded and produced small ice cubes that could be wrapped in fabric and used to cool her. Neri hoped it would help, at least a little.

They reached a chamber, more werewolves stood in their way.

"We do not wish any more of our people hurt. I ask you this now outsider, are you willing to parley?" One of them spoke.

She knew Arietta would agree. She'd talk to them, try to figure all this out. Neri was never very patient though, and now even less so. They had no time left. She felt bad. Guilty almost, but she had **one** priority now and they were standing in her way.

"I just need Witherfang's heart. Sorry."

She slammed the werewolf into the door, the wood snapped and he crashed through it. Sten cut another in two and Morrigan set the last one on fire. Neri stepped through the broken door and brought her staff down on the wolf's head. The chamber was full of the growling monsters. "I'm not really in a chatty mood. I just need to end the curse." She spun her staff in her hand. "Where is Witherfang!?" She shouted.

"You do not have to do this..Zathrian can end the curse..." A woman stepped forward; she was green, with branches all over her body. Her eyes were deep black pools. Another spirit perhaps? It didn't matter; they didn't have time to negotiate. Neri looked back at Arietta; she was trembling, mumbling in her sleep. She was getting worse, the vile curse within her veins spreading like wild-fire.

"Neri, are you sure about this?" Wynne questioned.

"Look at her Wynne." Was all she said to the older mage.

"He's not here." Neri offered. If this lady was leading the werewolves, she probably knew where Witherfang was, or perhaps she _was_ him. "But _you_ are."

She lifted some werewolves into the air and slammed them into the stone. Sten and Zevran were on them in seconds. Alistair put Ari on the ground, her body in spasm from the poison coursing through her blood.

The green woman transformed into a great white wolf, _Witherfang_. It charged at Neri but she rolled to the side. She hit the wolf with a blast of her magic, sending it crashing into a wall. The others were cutting down werewolves all around her, but she only had eyes for the white wolf. That heart was the only thing that mattered now. She charged toward it, she stabbing with her staff, cutting the wolf's chest. It swiped with its claws, cutting her leg; she kicked it hard in the jaw, sending it reeling. She lifted it and slammed it back down again, the wolf yelped in pain. It came at her again, she jumped back. Her leg caught on a tree root that she was certain wasn't there a moment ago. Her back slammed into the cold stone, the roots wrapped around her legs. She tried to bring her staff up but the wolf bit into her arm savagely. She cried out. She held Witherfang's head away from her own as its massive jaw snapped shut just inches from her face. She struggled to keep its sharp teeth from ripping her throat out. Its claws were shredding her robes, tearing into her skin.

She cried out in pain as the wolf snapped its jaw shut again, slobber dripping from its mouth. She glanced around the room as she grappled with the wolf. Everyone was preoccupied with all the werewolves. Nobody was near her, except Arietta, lying unconscious next to her. Neri could see the hilt of her dagger hanging loosely from her belt. If she could just reach it...She took a deep breath then removed one hand from the wolf's neck, using it to punch the wolf in the snout. She hit it with a blast of magic, knocking it off her. Her legs were still tangled in the roots but she reached over and grabbed Arietta's dagger. Witherfang leapt at her again, this time she plunged the dagger into its neck. Hot blood sprayed onto her face and chest. She pushed it in further as the wolf shuddered over her. Its body flopped against her; she pushed it off and caught her breath. She was shaking as she checked on everyone else; most of the other werewolves were dead now. She cut the tree roots then cut open the wolf's chest and pulled out its heart, while trying not to gag. Her arm ached painfully, she felt feverish too. She was certain the curse was now in her veins as well. Not that it mattered they had the heart. She struggled to her feet, her head dizzy from the blood loss.

"Grab her and let's move!" She cried as she headed for the door. They raced up the steps; they came out at the first chamber they had entered. Crouched over a corpse was Zathrian.

"Ah good, there you are." He said.

_What the fuck was he doing here?_ "Zathrian?"

"I was worried the werewolves would kill you, do you have the heart?"

"We do. Arietta's been bitten. Can you cure her?"

"I can. Come, quickly."

* * *

**A/N: **I always cure the curse, but figured this was more appropriate for Neri. I wanted to thank everyone again, those who are following and those that are just reading too, knowing I have an audience really helps when I'm struggling! I'd encourage you to leave a review, I want to improve as a writer but can't do that without feedback! Plus it would just be nice to know what some of you think :)


	12. Ghosts

**A/N:** Bioware owns all as always!

Sorry about the delay! Laptop broke, was very tragic.

Those mature themes I mentioned?

Yeah, they'll be flaring up a bit at the start of this chapter, just to warn you!

Also, been editing some chapters, no changes, but now I do this cute little author's note thing.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Ghosts.**

"Wynne I'm fine, really."

"You are not. There is a hole in your arm still young lady. Let me heal you."

"Just leave it, okay?"

They'd raced through the forest back to the Dalish camp. Neri had nearly passed out from the exertion. Reaching the camp she had collapsed onto the grass, rolling onto her back as she gasped for air. The curse in her veins had been excruciating. The pain was sharper than lightning and hotter than fire as it burned through her, making her bones feel like glass. She was sweating and shivering as Zathrian poured the thick liquid into her mouth. It was stringy and chewy but she choked it down. The effects were immediate. The curse hadn't been in her veins long so her recovery was fast. She still felt a bit sore and achy but that didn't bother her. It served as a reminder for all they'd just been through. Arietta was still unconscious, but she was alive and recovering much to everyone's relief.

"I will certainly not. If I don't heal this wound it will get infected, you'll be no good to us dead. Now give me your arm." Wynne said sternly. Reluctantly she obeyed. She scratched at the scabby claw marks on her cheek as Wynne healed her wound. "They'll scar if you do that." She scolded.

Neri rolled her eyes. "You are not my mother Wynne."

"I'm well aware."

"Then stop mothering me."

"Well someone has to take care of you when you're disregarding your own safety."

"I told you, I'm fine." She pulled her arm away, the wound was sealed but the tissue was still sore and red, the teeth marks clear to see.

"You are not. What is this about? Do you feel guilty?"

She snorted. "Just drop it Wynne. Please." The older mage sighed and left her alone.

She slumped back against a big tree. Barkspawn nuzzled her, she kissed his head, glad for his company.

_"You will always be weak, you pathetic little slut." _Albert echoed in her mind. He was always so strong, too strong for her to fight. But she was weak. She couldn't save the King or Duncan. The sloth demon, Uldred and Witherfang had nearly killed her and on top of that Albert was haunting her, making her freeze up in battle. _"You obviously didn't try hard enough."_ She was a failure, completely useless. _Weak._ Ari was hurt because Neri hadn't been protecting her and the werewolves were dead at her hand.

She squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her firsts. She couldn't _do_ anything. She wasn't particularly smart; she wasn't charming or a skilled fighter. She only had her magic, and that was more a curse than anything. She slammed her head back into the trunk of the tree. Zathrian had been _right there_, upstairs. He could have ended the curse, she was sure. Her impatience and desperation had led to her ignoring the Lady's pleas for peace. They'd killed, no, _slaughtered_ them all.

She wasn't a killer. Until now she'd only killed monsters; darkspawn, undead, bandits, abominations, mercenaries. _The werewolves were savages. _She tried to convince herself. They could talk though, they were sentient. _Murderer. _She stared down at the bite mark on her arm. She pinched the raw skin, pain flaring up her arm. She smiled.

_"You deserve this"_ _Albert sneered as his gauntleted fist crashed into her ribs. He grabbed her by the hair, lifting her off her feet. She cried out. She was so small compared to him, he towered over her. His black hair and grey eyes were barely visible in the darkness of the basement. "I told you to be quiet." He spat. She had to do what he said. He would hurt her more if she didn't. She bit down on her tongue, drawing blood. He pushed her to her knees as he undid his breeches. Tears streamed down her cheeks._ "_Please no! I'm sorry." She begged, her whole body trembling. "Only the weak beg." He said as he rammed his cock into her mouth._

"Elf, are you possessed?" Sten spoke.

She gasped for air, gagging at the memory."Wh-what?" She said staring up at the giant.

His purple eyes darkened. "Your palms are bloody, you were mumbling and trembling."

"Oh." She took another shaky breath. "I'm not possessed."

"Good." He walked away.

"Sten?"

"Yes." He turned.

She bit her lip. "How did you deal with the guilt? Of killing that family?"

"The cage was my penance. Now I am here."

"So stopping the Blight will make up for it?"

"I do not know. It is a start."

"Why did you kill them?"

"I lost my sword." He walked away.

She sat for a while, staring at her bloody palms. Eventually she forced herself back to her feet using her staff as a walking stick; she decided she needed to be productive instead of wallowing in her thoughts all day.

* * *

"How are you feeling?" Neri asked her. The elf was in new robes, some sickly green Dalish ones. Her already skinny frame looked anorexic in them.

Ari was still sore, her muscles and bones felt heavy and sensitive and bright lights made her eyes sting. "I'm fine." She said to the elf.

Neri nodded. "I'm glad you're okay. I thought I might knit you something, to keep you warm while you're stuck in bed?" The elf smiled slightly, her usually bright brown eyes were duller today, dark circles lay beneath them and the scab across her cheek was ugly.

She snorted. "I'm surprised you have the patience to knit. I don't need anything." The elves ears dropped. "I just need to rest." She said turning on her side. She did not want to talk to _her_ today. She heard the elf walk away, her boots dragging across the grass.

She heard another noise, the familiar sound of mail rattling. _Alistair_. She couldn't help but smile as he came into view. "Here I brought you this." He said handing her a bowl of soup. She kissed him on the cheek as she sat up to eat. He sat on the cot with her, his hand rubbing her back softly. She melted into his touch and sighed contently. Blossom was sat watching them silently as she always did. "I was thinking we should probably leave soon, I know Zathrian wants to move his clan north a bit if he can." He said.

"I agree. We need to find the Ashes." She said as she slurped down the remaining soup. Eamon was their priority and they'd wasted too much time here already.

"I hope Eamon is okay." Alistair said looking at the ground.

"He will be Alistair. I'll make sure of it." As long as she remained in charge nothing would go wrong. She wouldn't let it.

"Thank you." He kissed her head. "You know... You don't have to walk anywhere. I don't mind carrying you again." He smirked.

She laughed. "Oh no you don't!"

He grabbed her, lifting her into the air, she screamed then began to laugh as he spun her around. She slammed her fists into his armoured back, to little effect. He held her in his arms, their faces inches apart. Her breathing was heavy; she stared up at his beautiful face. He had thicker stubble than usual on his chin and jaw; he'd barely left her side the entire time she'd been recovering. Her heart skipped a beat as he stared down at her, his eyes were so intense, so full of passion and something else; something more than that. She moved her hand to cup his face, his stubble scratched her fingers but she didn't mind. She ran her hand up through his silky hair. She licked her lips and Alistair moved his head closer.

"Looks like you're feeling better." Zevran interrupted. Ari turned beetroot; she could see Alistair blush too, his ears turning pink. He plopped her back down on the cot while he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Much." She said to the elf, a grin plastered across her face as she held Alistair's hand.

"The Dalish are leaving, I suggest we do the same. Zathrian has given us a map to their new camp site; they'll be ready when we call them to battle."

"Okay. Tell everyone we leave within the hour."

* * *

"I have been studying mother's Grimoire." Morrigan said, referring to the tome Neri had found in Irving's quarters. "Do you wish to hear what I have found?"

"Does it say how she becomes a dragon?" Neri quipped.

"It does not. Tis, not what I expected." She said looking at the ground; her expression looked a mixture of pain and worry. "I had hoped for a collection of her spells, a map of the power she commands. But this is not it."

"Yet you look disturbed?"

"Disturbed!? Yes perhaps that is the right word. One thing in particular within her writings _disturbs_ me. Here in great detail Flemeth explains the means by which she has survived for centuries." She said pacing.

That sounded useful. "A spell of immortality?"

Morrigan sighed heavily. "Oh if only it were so. Flemeth has raised many daughters over her long life time, yet I have never seen a one. And always wondered why not. And now I know. They are all Flemeth. When her body becomes old and wizened she raises a daughter and when the time is right she takes the daughter's body for her own."

Neri's ears flicked back, she was not expecting _that_. "I-what the _fuck_. So her current body... Was her previous daughter's?"

"Yes. This tome details the preparation and training. I recognise all of it. I am to be her next... _Host_. This is my purpose." Her nose crunched up, disgusted at the very idea of it.

That had to hurt, she was like a new pair of shoes being worn in before Flemeth slipped into them. "Older boots are always better than new ones." She coughed. "I mean, we can't let her do that."

"I agree. There is only one possible response to this. Flemeth needs to die. I will not sit around like an empty sac waiting to be filled. Flemeth must be slain and I need your help to do it."

_Kill_ Flemeth? A Witch of the Wilds, _The_ Witch of the Wilds... Neri's stomach flipped at the idea. Fighting Flemeth was a damned suicide mission. What if she turned into a dragon again? Being roasted alive did not sound very pleasant. Flemeth had also saved her life, it would be plain rude to stab her in the back like this. _So stab her in the front _her subconscious supplied unhelpfully. She might have to, she liked Morrigan. If the witch needed her help she would do it, she would kill Flemeth for her. Neri had come to class Morrigan as a friend, they often spoke late into the night around her fire, discussing all manner of things. The witch wasn't so different to herself, they were both pragmatic, both wanting to stop the Blight, both grew up isolated from the rest of society. Morrigan was of course more cynical in nature, where Neri was blither for the most part. But that only meant it must have taken Morrigan a great deal of courage to trust her with such a delicate matter. She had to help her.

"What do you need me to do?"

"Go back to her hut in the Wilds, without me."

"You're worried she'll possess you when I slay her if you're present, yes?"

"Yes, you will need to confront her and slay her quickly. I doubt she will truly be dead even then... But it will take her years to find a new host and recover her power if that is even possible. The thing I must have is her true Grimoire, with it I can defend against her power in the future. Everything else in her hut is yours."

The quickly part would be problematic, especially if Neri went alone. She didn't want to risk anyone else's lives if she could help it. But that would be made even harder if Flemeth knew she was coming. "You should know, when I met her last she mentioned having an appointment to keep and Hawke took an amulet to Kirkwall, could that have anything to do with this?"

"I do not know... It is possible she knows you are coming. But this must still be done." Morrigan said.

"Alright." She said reluctantly. She'd need help, she was sure of it.

"I am grateful." The relief on her face was palpable. "The sooner this can be done the sooner it will set my mind at ease."

She walked away from Morrigan's tent. They were still in the Brecilian forest, but no longer with the elves. The Dalish had moved north a little and their own group had gone west. Haven was their next destination. A little detour to deal with Flemeth probably wouldn't hurt though. Arietta was still weak, she tired more quickly since the bite. Neri on the other hand was feeling better, _physically,_ at least.

She walked past Sten and Barkspawn, he appeared to be conversing with her dog. She smiled. Sten was a big softie really, except for when he wasn't. Metal rang out across the clearing, Leliana and Zevran were duelling one another. Zevran's tan skin glowed in the fire light. She found herself staring for far too long. She liked his hair, and his long chiselled face and his lean frame. And that voice made her melt. She smiled as she noticed the Dalish gloves on his hands. A merry Dalish had given them to her for curing him. Zevran had been shocked at first, then very grateful for the gift. He smashed his blade into Leliana's side. Both were incredibly fast on their feet, Zevran's swipes were perhaps a little messier than Leliana's but more powerful. He did seem to be winning, but it was always hard to tell with rogues, one wrong move and your opponent would use it to their advantage, or hold it over your head as Arietta was doing.

She had barely spoken to Neri since waking up and the conversations they did have were blunt and cold. She'd never seen this unforgiving, ruthless side to the noble. It was unbearable. She blamed Neri for killing the werewolves. She had ordered her not to after all. Not that Arietta would ever voice that opinion; she still had her parent's manners drilled into her. She was happy to be alive, so instead she ignored Neri or made snide remarks. Every glare or comment just made Neri feel guiltier and angrier. She could use a break from her, from everything. She could do something right for once. Deal with Flemeth somehow.

She headed toward the fire, Alistair and Arietta were sat together laughing at something he had said. Neri envied their relationship. So simple and easy, neither of them was carrying around baggage or burdens from past relationships or experiences. Neri would never have what they have. She wouldn't live a normal life, even if Albert hadn't left his mark on her, she was still a mage. She would never have children or a loving husband. All she had was her magic and the taint in her blood. Her heart ached, she missed Anders so much, and she missed her friends too. Perhaps she'd visit them once they cured Eamon.

She approached her fellow Wardens. She figured Alistair would be the most useful; his templar abilities would help against Flemeth's magic. She didn't want to risk anyone else's life though and a smaller group could sneak into the Wilds and out again more easily.

"Hey" She said as she stood over them both. Ari looked up and rolled her eyes, Alistair smiled though.

"Hi, everything okay? I saw you talking to Morrigan way over there, why _does_ she always camp so far away? Not that I'm complaining of course..." He muttered.

"We need to kill Flemeth to stop her possessing Morrigan." Neri said nonchalantly.

"What?" He said, with his mouth hung open.

She explained.

"And now you want to kill her? Are you mad?" He said frantically.

She didn't expect him to understand, he didn't exactly like Morrigan, but she hoped he would still help her. "Perhaps."

"Neria, you're not doing this. It's a terrible idea." Arietta argued.

"It is, which is why you're staying here. Me and Alistair will go and deal with it."

"No, absolutely not!" Arietta stood to face her.

"_We only split up for high risk quests." _Neri said mockingly.

"Don't use my own words against me." She jabbed a finger at Neri's chest. "That was differ-"

"No, it wasn't" She pushed her hand away. "And you're still recovering. We're going, you're staying."

"I'm the leader of this group, I am telling you **not** to do this." Arietta said as she moved closer to Neri.

"My mind is made up." Neri said.

"Why do you never listen to my orders?!" They glared daggers at each other.

"Do I get a say in this?" Alistair asked.

They both turned to him. "No." They said in unison. They turned back to frown at each other.

Neri relented. "Alistair I need you and we need Morrigan. Flemeth could turn into a dragon, I'll need you to keep her busy ." She said.

"Oh great, now I'm bait?" Alistair whined.

"Yup." She said folding her arms, daring Arietta to object.

Ari took a deep breath. "Why just you and Alistair? Can't you take Sten and Zevran too?"

"We'll be going through the Wilds, I'd rather not draw the attention of too many watching eyes. I want to slip in and out."

The tension hovered between them, neither of them willing to back down.

"Fine." Arietta said. "But you're taking Blossom." Her face was unreadable.

"Okay." She went to walk away but turned back and said. "I'll bring Alistair back in one piece, I promise."

* * *

Alistair and Neri walked in silence through the forest. The sun was high in the sky, bright rays cutting through the thick canopy of the forest above. She was still angry at Arietta, _she saved her fucking life but she hadn't even thanked her_! She shook her head. Alistair suddenly grabbed her wrist, she went to cry out but he clamped his hand over her mouth and pointed at the clearing below them. They crouched down behind some bushes to get a better look. There were a group of armed men below them, pushing and taunting another man.

"That man is wearing the uniform of King Cailan's honour guard." Alistair informed her. One of the armed men drew his dagger, Neri tried to cast a spell in time to stop him but he moved too fast. He stabbed the guard in the gut, knocking him to the floor.

_Weak, weak, weak_. "Balls." Neri swore. The men turned to look at them, they all drew their swords.

"We should probably..." Alistair said.

Neri finished his sentence. "Kill them? Yeah." She said sadly.

Alistair charged down the hill with Blossom at his heel, his sword and shield drawn, he slammed into one soldier sending him flying into the grass, Neri lifted a long faced human up then threw him into a tree, impaling him on a branch, blood sputtered out his mouth then he sagged, dead. Alistair was swiping at a man with a big nose, Neri put a glyph down on the floor at his feet to slow his movement some more. Blossom was tearing into the last guard, shredding his arm. She was a fierce hound, quiet and deadly. Neri rarely heard her bark or howl; she was just a constant presence at Arietta's side.

With the enemies dead they approached the man, he was still alive, but out-cold.

"Yes, I know him, this is Elric Maraigne, he was close with the King." Alistair said as they examined him.

Neri kicked the man in the leg, he groaned and came to. He sat up slowly. "_Thank you_." He croaked. "I didn't expect the Bann to notice my escape so quickly. I tried to hide here in the woods, but there wasn't time. And now I'm a dead man."

"I'm a mage." She said. The man's face lit up. "I'm not a healer though, sorry." She looked to Alistair helplessly.

The man frowned. "You were at Ostagar. You were meant to protect the King!"

_What was this? 'Blame Neri day'?_ "Well the ogre had other plans." She said bitterly.

"I was supposed to guard him too, he was my friend, you understand? You saw how it went, for me, it was either this or die in some darkspawn's belly or be hanged as a deserter."

At least she hadn't run. She stayed and fought. Not that it made much difference. "Technically, you would be dead before reaching the darkspawn's belly..."

"You deserted?" Alistair said angrily.

"I fled the battlefield when Loghain betrayed us, I abandoned my men, and they died, and Cailan with them. He was my King, my friend." The man sobbed.

"Sounds like you got a head start, everyone else soon ran too, at my orders. There was no winning that battle." She said.

"_Maker_. All that time in Bann Loren's prison and I couldn't stop thinking about all they suffered that one dark night at Ostagar..."

"Well, you won't have made much difference either way..." He was old and portly, she wasn't sure how he'd help defend a wheel of cheese let alone the King, _he'd probably just eat the cheese._

"I know. Even had Loghain's men not turned their backs on us, the darkspawn were too many. Even Cailan, for all his bravado, knew there would be no victory at Ostagar. The king entrusted me with the key to the royal arms chest. The documents in there are of great importance he said. If anything were to happen to him he said it was vital I deliver it to the Wardens."

"Don't suppose the key's on you then?" She asked.

"The Makers has a sense of humour, doesn't he? I suppose it's for the best, however- had I kept it, it would be in Bann Loren's hands by now."

"That's a no then. So where is it?"

"I was afraid; I thought I would lose it on the battlefield, so I stashed it in the camp. Please- it's probably still there."

"We have to go back to Ostagar?" Alistair said, there was an edge to his voice. Fear perhaps?

"The key's behind a loose stone in the base of a statue. I'll draw you a map."

He did so before dropping dead.

"How considerate of him to tell us all that before dying." She remarked.

"Come on." Alistair said as he climbed back up the hill.

* * *

They trudged through the Wilds; the ground was hard, frozen by the cold air. Her breath came out in white puffs as they walked. She was wearing all of her winter gear, but still her toes and fingers were numb. Casting spells when you couldn't feel your fingers was never easy. She rubbed them together and huffed into them. "I wish I could summon fire on days like today." She muttered.

"I don't, I heard about you setting people's hair on fire." Alistair laughed from her side.

"Would that be so bad? You might suit being bald?" She teased.

"Somehow, I don't think so. I happen to like my hair, thank you very much." He said smiling.

"I heard singed hair is_ very_ popular this season." She lied.

He quirked an eyebrow. "Hear that from Leliana did you?"

"_Maybe_." She grinned.

"I really doubt the Orlesians are running around with burnt hair."

"That wouldn't even be one of their weirder trends." She chuckled.

The ground started to crunch beneath her feet, she looked down and gasped, it was white, a bright, brilliant white. _Snow_. Flakes started to fall from the sky. It was beautiful. She'd never seen snow before. She bent down and grabbed a handful. It was cold and fluffy to the touch and immediately started to melt in her hand, she squeezed, the snow hardened, compacting into a ball. She grinned as she threw it at Alistair's head.

"Heeey!" He whined. She laughed at him. He glared at her before grabbing a handful for himself. He hurled the ball at her, hitting her right in the face. She screamed, a mixture of shock from his hit and from the cold now dripping down her bare skin. She giggled as she threw two more at him, he dodged the first but the second hit him in the ear. He cried out then shuddered "Brrrr, it's freezing!" She hit him again, snow exploded across his chest plate. He lobbed another at her but this time she deflected it with her barrier. "No fair!" He cried.

"_Really_ Alistair? You have armour and a shield you big baby!"

They chased each other through the frozen wasteland; the Wilds looked totally different covered in snow, less barren and brown, more pristine and calm. Alistair was in front of her, dodging her snowballs. She tossed a couple more, they hit him in the back, he was looking at something, over the hill. She joined him.

"Oh." She said as she took in the scene in front of her. _Ostagar_. The ruins rose out of the fog, tall grey towers stretching up into the even greyer sky. The snow blanketed the ground, covering the death that lay beneath. It didn't look like there had been a battle here just a month or two ago. Everything was quiet, _too _quiet. Alistair was staring at the ruins, his expression unreadable. She knew how he felt though. That night had been horrendous. It haunted them both. She leant her head on Alistair's shoulder. "Come on. Let's put this place to rest."

* * *

**A/N: **Next update should be with you all shortly, it's already written as I had to split this one in half, I figured 6/7000 words was a tad too much! Let me know what you all think so far :)


	13. Lessons

**A/N: **Bioware owns all.**  
**

The adventures of Ali and Neri continue.

Thank you for the reviews! They are much appreciated.

xxx

* * *

**Lessons.**

Snow covered many of the fallen pillars and broken walls. Some parts of the ruins were unrecognisable now, destroyed in the battle. One thing was the same though. _Darkspawn_.

After killing the first group Alistair plodded to her side, his armour rattling loudly. He smiled sadly at her, obviously conflicted about coming back here. She nodded at him and they walked on. They trudged through the thick snow and under an arch, stopping in front of a table. _The_ table. The one they had all stood around while they decided their battle strategy. The King's first mistake was making _her_ his shield. He should have picked a different mage to save his stupid ass. She had thought his optimism would help them win. Of course that was a foolish, naïve stance to have. She knew nothing of battle or war. A newly harrowed mage; weak and green as summer, she had no place on the battlefield.

"I still can't believe Loghain did this." Alistair said as he wiped the snow off the war table.

She looked at him, he was naïve too. He didn't seem to know that everyone had their own agenda, their own goals, wants and needs. _Only selfless people put other people's needs above their own_ she thought bitterly.

She glanced up at him. "Everyone's out for themselves Alistair, it's time you learnt that."

In the Circle nobody did anything for anyone else, not without expecting something in return first. It was give and take and sometimes just take, take, take. Want to borrow a book? _Give me your pudding for a month_. Need a templar distracting? _Do their chores for a year_. Everyone was selfish, only looking out for themselves because nobody else would. Of course Neri had broken that unspoken rule the day she fell in love with Anders. _I'd do it again though, friends mattered, they had to_. She would die to protect those she loved. The guilt of letting something happen to them would kill her just as surely. _What the fuck am I doing bringing Alistair south to fight Flemeth?_

He exhaled deeply. "Yes, perhaps you're right."

She patted him on the arm. "It's okay to be a little selfish; we _are_ stopping the Blight after all."

He chewed on his lip before speaking again. "You're saying I should think about what I want for once?"

She looked into his eyes; she could see the conflict in them. "Yes."

He scratched his temple before adjusting his winter hat. "It's funny, Wynne told me the opposite the other morning. She said Grey Wardens have to be selfless, that I should focus on the Blight instead of... other things." His cheeks started to flush and Neri immediately knew he meant Arietta.

She scoffed. "Fuck the Blight." She shook her head from side to side. "No, don't do that." She chuckled. "Maker only knows what infectious disease _that_ would give you!" He stifled a laugh with his hand. She cleared her throat. "Look you are a Grey Warden, so am I so is Arietta. But we're not _just_ Grey Wardens, that isn't the only thing that defines us or matters, the people matter. _You_ matter."

His eyes were dark as he stared down at her but he seemed to blink the shadows away as he nodded. "You're right. I should do what I want for a change, stop allowing myself to be bossed about, otherwise I'll never be happy."

Her face broke into a grin "Does that mean you and a certain blue-eyed Warden are finally going to get together?" She wiggled her eyebrows at him.

He stuttered his mouth opening and closing a few times before he sighed. "I haven't felt this way about anyone before." He lifted a hand to rub his neck. "It terrifies me." He said with a shaky laugh.

Neri may be having some issues with Arietta at the moment but she couldn't deny that her and Alistair made a great couple. "You're good together." She reassured him. "Love _is_ scary."

"Did I say I loved her?" He blushed. "Well, errr, yes, I suppose I do." He leant against the snowy table and stared up at the clouds above. "_Maker_. She's so beautiful."

"Well the sooner you make it official the sooner you can both be happy." Neri said as she too leant against the table. "And who knows, if you become King, she could be your queen?" She said as she bumped his shoulder playfully giving him a wink.

His eyebrows disappeared under the woolly hat. "You really think they'd make _me_ King?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "I don't see why not?"

He stood again and started to pace, his boots crunching through the snow. He turned to look at her shaking his head. "I'm just a bastard."

"You're the only person left alive with royal blood." She started to smirk. "It might be a bit tainted..." She gave him a lopsided grin. "But it's still royal." She stood and walked through the snow up toward the familiar place at the top.

Alistair was quiet at her side and Blossom was off sniffing a pillar. He let out a sigh. "I'd be a terrible King." He said muttering.

Her hat had slid down over her brow, she peeked at him through it as she adjusted it. "I'm sure there have been worse." She joked.

He let out a huff of air that floated away on the wind. "I mean it." He looked at her. "I wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do."

She gave him a shrug. "Well, killing Loghain and stopping the Blight seem like pretty good places to start." She simpered, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

He groaned at her. "Sure, it'll be easy."

She giggled softly. "Well at least we're not alone in this now." She stopped and stared down at the ground. "When I was in Lothering I thought you were both dead and I was tempted to simply flee because there was no way I was going to be able to defeat a Blight alone." She looked up at him, his hazel eyes were warm in the sunlight now shinning down on them. "But now look at us. Mages, elves, Redcliffe soldiers, it's the start of an army." Blossom came and nuzzled her hand.

He rubbed at his stubble. "And after? I'd actually have to govern and rule and-"

She took a step forward. "Alistair." She placed her hands on his shoulders and stared up at him. "You can learn to be a good King; you can't learn how to be a good person."

"I- yes I suppose you're right."

She slapped him on the shoulder and grinned. "Of course I am."

He chuckled. "Someone's feeling good about themselves."

She smiled then waved her hand dismissing his statement. "Besides, Arietta knows a lot about that governing stuff. She could help with it." She said with a wink.

"She would be an incredible Queen." He said wistfully.

She let the silence hang between them before she swallowed hard. "She's pissed off with me."

His shoulders sagged and he let out a long slow breath. "I know." He tried to give her a reassuring smile but it didn't do much to make her feel better. "I think she just needs time, maybe? I tried to tell her it wasn't your fault..."

She scoffed as she kicked up some of the snow. "She blames me, Maker, _I_ blame me! I led the attack after all. Didn't even try to parley." She balled her fists at her side.

Alistair walked over to her and tugged her shoulder, willing her to face him. His jaw was clenched and his eyes hard. "She was our priority. You did the right thing."

She shrugged his hand off her and turned away. "Zathrian was right there, upstairs. I-" She faltered.

He moved to stand in front of her and lifted her chin with his gauntleted hand. "None of us knew Neri." He smiled at her. "She was _dying_." He squeezed his eyes shut. "Her screams and whimpers and all that blood..." He shook his head and she rubbed his upper arm. He opened his eyes; there was a shine to them now. "You saved her. Thank you." He kissed her head and she nodded.

She knew he was right, she knew it wasn't her fault and that she was being stupid. But it was the guilt of everything else on top of this that was sending her over the edge. Scratching at the corner of her mind drew her attention back to a group of darkspawn now running toward them. She noticed a flash of gold on one of the hurlocks, _Cailan's boots_. She snarled as she ran at them. "So not pulling them off!" She leered as she threw it into a pillar.

With the darkspawn dead Alistair pulled the boots off the hurlock. "I suppose others have the rest of his armour?" She questioned.

Alistair wiped some blood off the boots and looked up at her, his face a storm of emotion. "It feels wrong, seeing his armour on them like this." His lips twitched in anger. "Let's try to find it all."

She nodded and glanced around, her eyes lingering on the mound of snow on top of the ramp. "Mind if we..."

He peered over his shoulder and nodded.

She clambered through the thick snow, her boots disappearing into the white coldness, she shivered as she pulled herself out. Alistair stepped down onto the hard stone first and reached his hand out to help her. She took it with a smile. She gasped at the view branching out in front of them. The Wilds were seeped in fog but the sun was starting to burst through the clouds above, highlighting some of the murky trees and broken towers that reached up through the gloom. It almost looked beautiful.

A stray ray of sunshine glimmered off something on the floor, her eyes turned to it and she sucked in air through her teeth at the sight of the silver chalice lying discarded on the floor. She bent over to pick it up, swallowing hard at the memory of the vile drink they had consumed; at the memory of Jory with a sword through his belly and Daveth clawing at his throat. She looked down at the shiny metal and her reflection shimmered back at her. She looked older now, her face was leaner but more toned, her skin was dirty and the slight scar across her cheek made her look tough and grizzled. Her usually tame blonde curls were unruly and frizzy as they framed her face. She smiled and the woman staring back at her smiled too.

She realised what she was now. What she had always been. Tough, strong, a _survivor_. She survived the Joining and the battle that followed, she resisted the sloth demon's magic, she battled Uldred and killed him, she saved Arietta and the elves, and she fought Witherfang alone and won. Her magic was strong, it was the one thing she could rely on, the one thing that had helped her get through it all. It was not a curse, it was a damned gift. She absolutely would not let Ser Albert's voice make her feel differently. He was gone and she was still here; still standing strong.

She heard Alistair shuffled to her side. She glanced up at him as he peered down at her. He looked at the chalice in her hands still and smiled sadly. "Do you regret joining the Wardens?"

"Not for once second." She said.

In the Wardens she had freedom, a freedom she had not known before. She could feel the grass beneath her feet, the sun on her face, watch the stars twinkle in the night's sky and have snow ball fights with her friends. The Circle had been okay, before Albert, but after him it had been a prison, her leash was short and the collar was tight. There was nothing like that with the Wardens and despite everything they had been through she wouldn't change any of it.

She dropped the chalice to the floor and turned to leave.

They headed left into what was once the old camp. They found the key and Cailan's chest all the while battling darkspawn. Inside the chest was a huge sword of silver with green runes cast into it that glowed whenever darkspawn were near. There were also some documents that showed that Empress Celene had changed her mind about sending support, it looked to Alistair like Loghain had intervened and insulted her into not coming. Alistair had kicked the chest closed and stormed off.

She caught up to him staring up at something in the middle of the bridge. She glanced up at the familiar figure hanging from the post; his head drooped to one side, his golden hair falling over much of his face. That moment from the battle played in her mind again, the flash of gold in the ogre's hands, the splatter of red. His body discarded to the floor like litter. Duncan killing that ogre with his daggers, stabbing over and over. The utter look of defeat in his eyes as he hugged his fallen King and the more final one he gave her as her barrier crumbled to the ground.

She wiped at the tears now trickling down her cheeks. _This is wrong._ She thought, _He deserves better_. He was not a trophy to be showed off, he was a good man. A darkspawn tickled at her mind and she turned to see a genlock spinning his hands above his head. Moments later the dead were rising all around them. Before she could kill the necromancer it fled.

After killing the walking dead Alistair glanced back up at the King as he wiped his brow. "We'll come back for you." He said.

She stepped out into the sunlight after fighting their way through the tower of Ishal and the tunnels below it. She sucked in air, glad to be out the darkness. They almost had all of Cailan's armour now, the necromancer they'd been tailing had the final piece; his helm. They walked down the hill and out onto the snow covered battlefield. Neri stared at the dead ogre on the floor realising this was the area she had been battling alongside the king and Duncan. Her barrier had shimmered blue against the red sky right across the breadth of the field. The tug of magic and the scratching of darkspawn drew her attention. She bristled as she walked forward to confront the necromancer. It swirled its magic above its head again but this time she cut it off, trapping it in a crushing prison.

She was vaguely aware of Alistair and Blossom fighting some other darkspawn but she only had eyes for the twisted little genlock spluttering blood across the white snow in front of her. _I'll wipe that grin off your face,_ she thought as she fisted her hands and crushed its chest. It dropped to the floor and she yanked the helm off its head.

She stalked back over to Alistair as he cut through another darkspawn effortlessly. He looked up at her as he wiped his sword on the fabric of a hurlock's armour. He looked grimly at the helm in her hands. "Thank you, for helping to retrieve it all."

She handed it to him with a nod. "We're not done here." She scanned the area, trying to figure out where she had awoken that awful morning. Using the ogre's corpse as her best guess she started to dig through the snow. She spotted the familiar silver of his armour and uncovered the rest of his body. With the snow he was surprisingly well preserved. She grimaced remembering the chewed out eye sockets. Alistair had turned white as he stared down at his mentor's corpse. "We'll burn them together." She said and he nodded at her. She kicked more snow away and eventually found both of Duncan's daggers. "For you." She said handing them to Alistair.

He reached out with a trembling hand and took them. "His daggers." Alistair breathed out.

She rubbed her hands together, trying to warm them from the snow. "I know you wanted something to remember him by..." She said.

Alistair looked at her and clenched his jaw. "I'll keep one. I want you to have the other." He said handing her back a blade.

She frowned down at the glistening blade then tilted her head as she looked back up at him. "I'm a mage... Why-"

"Witherfang nearly killed you. If it weren't for Ari's blade being a foot away." He gulped and shook his head, banishing the dark thoughts away. "Keep it on you, just in case."

She took it and nodded. The handle was rough in her palms but it was light, she gripped it tight and her face hardened as she thanked him for it. _Maybe Zevran can teach me how to _really_ use it._ She thought.

* * *

They built a pyre for Cailan and Duncan, burning them both side by side. It wasn't much, but it was better than leaving them rotting slowly in the cold. They exited the ruins and headed deeper into the Wilds.

Their boots crunched on the snow as they trekked through the wilderness. Neri stopped at stared at their surroundings. She let out a sigh as none of it looked familiar.

Alistair stopped at her side. "We're lost, aren't we?"

She pouted and folded her arms. "Maybe just a little."

A bird chirped above them and fluttered over to the next tree then chirped again before fluttering to the next one. Neri let out a snort. "I guess it's that way."

Alistair squinted after the bird. "Is, is she expecting us?"

Neri gave him a shrug as she cut her way through the thicket.

Patches of blue sky lightened up the clouds of grey above their heads as they stopped to take a drink of water. Neri shook her waterskin, draining the last drops into her mouth. She let out a sigh as she slid it back into her pack.

Alistair tittered next to her, tapping his hands on his legs. She glanced up at him and quirked her eyebrow.

"So I have a question." He finally said.

She rose and nodded. "Go on."

"Have you completely lost your mind?" He said waving his arms in the air.

She let out a short chuckle as she smiled at him. "Nope, I know exactly where it is." She said pointing to her forehead.

He rolled his eyes. "I mean, Flemeth obviously knows we're coming, she could be leading us into a trap... Why _are_ you helping Morrigan?"

She started to walk again, giving him her back; she lifted her shoulders up and down. "Why not?" She said as she pulled a branch back to pass by it.

"Because she's not a very nice person..." Alistair mumbled as he walked toward her.

Neri turned on him with a scowl. "So that means she deserves to be possessed by her own mother does it?"

Alistair tilted his head to the left then right. "Well-"

"Alistair!" She whipped the branch into his face making him cry out.

He rubbed at his cheek and sighed. "No, I guess not. Still, this _is_ Flemeth we're talking about. Didn't you say she could turn into a dragon!?"

Neri marched on ahead. "Yes."

He caught up to her and stared down at her. "So how exactly are we going to fight her?"

"Oh I don't know I figured if I just ask her nicely she'll lie down and we can slay her." She said glibly.

"Very funny. I'm serious."

She shrugged and looked at him her face serious. "I'm just gunna wing it." She turned away and covered her mouth with her hand, stifling her laugh at her poor joke.

"Really!? Wing it? That's your plan. Is that some sort of dragon joke?"

She chuckled. "Maker, you do go on."

Truthfully, she wasn't sure what she was going to do. It was indeed clear Flemeth was leading them to her and was waiting for them. That thought made Neri's stomach flutter. She was conflicted, she wanted to help Morrigan but looking after Alistair was going to have to come first. They needed Grey Wardens more than they needed a witch.

She walked through some familiar bushes and Flemeth's hut appeared in front of them. Neri smiled at noticing Flemeth was back in her 'old-hag' form, instead of the powerful witch she'd met with Hawke. _Perhaps she wants us to think she's not a threat._ But that could just be part of her ploy. Neri walked up to her with a slight wave.

"Me again Flemeth." She said.

The old woman regarded her with a smile. "So you return, lovely Morrigan as at last found someone willing to dance to her tune. Such enchanting music she plays, wouldn't you say?" She chuckled.

Neri gave her a shrug "Can't say I've heard much of her music I'm afraid, she tends to keep to herself." Neri glanced at Alistair he was stood tall with his feet shoulder width a part, his hand ready to grab his blade should he need it. It made Neri more nervous. "So, were we the appointment you had to keep?" She asked instead.

Flemeth looked her up and down, her eyes were sharp and her smile was one of a predator, Neri gulped as the witch spoke again. "Perhaps you are. How glad I am you have your Grey Warden friends." She hummed.

Neri flicked her ears back. "I see you decided to swap back to the old-hag look, _very nice_." She chortled. "I think the old worn out look suits you..." She said with a sly smirk.

Flemeth picked up on her subtle comment immediately. "Mmm, is that so? What has Morrigan told you then? What little plan has she hatched this time?" The witch said as she folded her arms.

Neri folded her own arms. There was no point lying to her, she knew too much. "She knows how you extend your unnatural lifespan."

"That she does, the question is do you? Ahh, but it is an old, old story. One that Flemeth has heard before and even told. Let us skip right to the ending. Do you slay the old retch as Morrigan bids, or does the tale take a different turn?" She said as she rubbed her chin.

Neri considered for a moment. She licked her lips and said. "I owe you my life, we both do. But we need Morrigan; we don't have much of a choice here."

"Choice. There is power in choices. Just as there are in lies. I shall give you one of each. Morrigan wishes my Grimoire?" She waved her arm in the direction of the hut. "Take it as a trophy, tell her I am slain."

Neri's brow furrowed as she stared down at the ground. Lie to Morrigan? The whole point of them coming here was to keep the witch safe, if she couldn't get a guarantee on that then she would have to kill Flemeth. But if she agreed not to harm her... then it would be the best solution. Alistair would be safe, not having to fight a dragon. _A dragon would be easier, Flemeth is a lot more powerful_.

She chewed on her lip. "I could do that..." She said still contemplating it. _What would Ari do?_ She sighed, she would do the right thing, the noble thing. Slay the witch and save Morrigan, _but would she put Alistair in danger_?

Flemeth's eyes gleamed. "It's far easier this way, don't you think? The lies are always more fun." She said as her whole body shook with laughter.

"Yes, fun." Alistair drawled. "Tricking Morrigan... Oh who am I kidding, that does sound fun. I'm a bad man." He said rubbing his hands together.

Neri glared at him. "What of Morrigan? You won't try to possess her?"

Flemeth gave her a reassuring smile that did nothing to reassure her. "I will not. The book is inside the hut, with notes and spells enough to make even Morrigan blush with delight."

Neri squeezed the bridge of her nose. _This will have to do. "_Alright." She looked up at Flemeth. "You have a deal."

Flemeth grinned at her. "Very wise. We **will **meet again, you and I." She said with a final chuckle.

Neri swallowed hard and frowned at her. "_Can't wait_."

* * *

**A/N:** If anybody is interested in learning about Ser Albert's past I've also started writing a fic about him called 'The truth beneath.'

Aaand I made more changes to Chapter 1-3, consider it a Director's cut I guess. Nothing major just a few more scenes and dialogues. I might make more changes to other chapters, but I'll let you all know. I'm the kind of person who's never happy with anything she does haa!


	14. Surprise

**A/N: **I wanted to say a **massive** thank you to the incredibly talented ElyssaCousland for beta-reading this for me!

* * *

**Surprise.**

She was restless, lying in bed, staring up at the worn fabric of the cloth tented over her head. The night was cold and the itchy blankets covering her did little to keep her comfortable or warm. She decided she had slept too much lately; everyone had forced her to rest; to recover. Now she was too awake to sleep. But she knew that was a lie; she still felt exhausted, the burning in her veins gone but her body still weak. No, the restlessness came from Alistair's late return. They still weren't back from Flemeth's hut. She had expected them back by nightfall, but after pacing the perimeter into the early hours it was clear they weren't coming back tonight. Leliana had eventually persuaded her to go to bed. She rolled over again trying to get comfortable.

Neri had promised to bring him back in one piece. Despite the elf's failure with the werewolves Arietta still trusted Neri enough to believe her about that. Neri was loyal but impulsive and very impatient. Ari had no doubt the elf would sooner sacrifice herself than let harm come to Alistair; she'd certainly proven herself in that regard already. But it was her impulsive, stubborn, impatient nature that had made her march off with just Alistair, without much thought or planning in the first place and now they were late coming back.

_Damn it Neri._

If it weren't for that damn elf saving her life she'd have snapped at her by now. But she _was_ glad to be alive and didn't want to come across as ungrateful. She just wished they hadn't gone off on this ridiculous quest. Neri's magic was strong and Alistair's templar training would help but none of them had battled a _dragon_ before. And this was Flemeth they were dealing with; super powerful Witch of the Wilds Flemeth.

She shook her head. They were either okay or they weren't; there was nothing she could do lying in her tent in the middle of the night. But that was part of the problem; if she hadn't foolishly been bitten she could've accompanied them, she would know if they were okay; she would have made _sure_ they were okay. But being left behind made her feel helpless and that was the worst feeling of all. By the very definition of the word it meant there was nothing she could do. And yet some of her greatest guilt came from feeling helpless. Not being able to save Oren or Oriana, leaving her mother and father, being helpless to stop Howe and _earlier_ memories; too painful to think of.

She hated inaction as much as she hated the inability to act. All her life she had pushed herself to be stronger, faster, smarter than everyone; she didn't even know why she felt the need to. Perhaps it was her mother's influence; she was such a strong woman, opinionated, wise and skilled too; she knew how to handle herself. Arietta never wanted to rely on others to get by, she never wanted her wealth to define her either. She rarely used the maids or servants, Nan was the exception; the old woman would have taken it as a slight otherwise. But she was gone too. Ari couldn't save them. The people she loved always died and she remained, alone.

She felt the scratching all too late as the shriek crashed into her tent with a deafening scream. She grappled with the darkspawn now clawing through the fabric to get to her. She grabbed her blade and stabbed up, under its chin. Pushing it off, she found her way outside. She looked around, Sten was shouting as he swung his huge greatsword in a massive arc, he cut several in half and severed another's arm. Morrigan was holding her own, her magic setting the darkspawn ablaze or freezing them solid. Wynne and Leliana were back to back, facing off against a group of five darkspawn; Wynne paralysed several, while Leliana dropped a few more with some well-placed arrows. Zevran was dancing between targets, slitting throats. Ari spun around as a hurlock swung its axe at her, she jumped back, her bare feet landing roughly on the stony ground, making her bite her lip to swallow her cry. She rolled to the side, grabbed a handful of gravel and threw them at the darkspawn; it reeled back, blinded. She buried her dagger in its eye. She was only in her nightie so her toes and fingers were already numbing in the winter air.

She heard Bodahn and Sandal shouting as they clambered up a tree. It was something she had told them to do if they ever got in to trouble at camp. Luckily the darkspawn didn't seem very interested in them. Another wave of the monsters poured out the forest.

_Where did they all come from?_

She joined Zevran, Leliana and Wynne; all of them standing in a circle to face their attackers. Her blade clashed with a genlock's and she gave it a firm kick and Zevran finished it off with a knife to its throat. A hurlock crawled toward them, blood dripping from its jaw; Barkspawn leapt onto it, burying his teeth in its shoulder. Pain flared in her own shoulder at the memory of the werewolf on top of her. She swallowed her bad memories and ran forward and grabbed the hurlock, throwing it into the hot coals of their sputtering fire. She sat on its back as she lifted its head and slit its throat.

The ground began to shake as an ogre barrelled into their camp. Its massive horns towered over her, silhouetted by the moon shining brightly behind it. The ogre roared, spitting saliva and blood from its massive maw. Its eyes locked onto Arietta, then it charged. She waited for it to get close before diving to the side. She skidded into the cold ground, her night-gown ripping on the loose gravel. She leapt back to her feet waiting for an opening as Sten sliced at the ogre's legs and Morrigan turned the air to ice. The ogre howled its frustration, smashing an arm into Sten, sending him flying into the trees. The monsters legs broke free of the ice and it charged at Arietta again. She held her ground again waiting for it to get closer. Something slammed into her side, knocking her to the floor. She swung her dagger around but Zevran disarmed her. She frowned, realising he was the one who tackled her to the floor. She looked back at the ogre; it had changed direction, charging to the spot she would have dodged to. Zevran had saved her life by tackling her the other way.

"Thanks." Her breath came out in rapid white puffs as he pulled her to her feet.

_Could the darkspawn see her thoughts? Understand them?_

The ogre thrashed violently, destroying much of their camp in its rampage, blinded by Leliana's arrows.

Arietta picked up a sword. "Have more at the ready." She said to Zevran. He nodded.

She waited for the ogre to turn its back to her, before she ran at it. She grabbed hold of its armour and clambered up its back; once at the top she reached up and slammed the blade into its thick neck; cutting deep into its spine. The ogre crumpled to its knees, writhing in agony. She raised her arm and caught another sword, stabbing that into its shoulder. Leliana shot more arrows into the creature's face. It roared and shook against her as she jumped off and rolled across the floor picking up another sword as she did so.

_One final blade should do it._

She stood in front of it, waiting for it to open its mouth. It obliged, with a blood curdling roar and she took that moment to ram the blade up through its mouth and into its brain. The ogre fell to the floor and the scratching in her mind fell silent.

She took in the scene around them. The camp was in ruins; their tents and supplies were scattered across the hard ground, most too damaged to be salvageable. She kicked a dented pot across the floor, her fists clenched at her side. Wynne, Leliana and Zevran helped Sten back into the clearing, he had a nasty wound on his head but apart from that didn't look too injured.

"The darkspawn corpses are a nice touch." Neri said from behind her, making her jump a little and spin. Her surprise turned to annoyance.

She scowled at the elf. "Where have you been!?"

Alistair stepped out of the tree line with Blossom. Relief flooded through Arietta. "We came as soon as we could. They ambushed us too." He hugged her. "Are you okay?" he asked, as she leant into his touch, some of the stress of the night easing.

"Yeah. I'm glad you're back though." She hugged him a little tighter.

"You make fun of me for fighting in short robes but I've never battled darkspawn in a night gown before!" Neri chuckled.

She pulled away from Alistair and looked down at her gown. It was splattered in blood, and ripped all down the front. She started to blush.

"Here." Alistair pulled off his thick winter coat and placed it around her.

She hugged the fabric close to her; it smelt of him. "Thank you."

A smile played at his lips. "Sorry we took so long. We had to go back to Ostagar first."

She raised an eyebrow as he went on to explain.

* * *

She was sick of surprises; Howe, Loghain, the undead at Redcliffe, the abominations and blood mages at the Tower, the werewolves in the ruins. The ambush. The documents Alistair found at Ostagar, the darkspawn wearing the King's armour. It was all horrific and that was just the beginning.

They left camp early the next day, wanting to get out of the area. Instead they'd been ambushed a second time, by a group of mercenaries. Ari spared them at Leliana's request. They were just paid swords, bought by Marjolaine; an old _friend_ of Leliana's. Arettai had known the chantry sister wasn't telling the whole truth about her past, but learning she was a bard had surprised her however. Leliana had fled Orlais, after being betrayed by Marjolaine, and come to the Chantry in Lothering seeking refuge. Ari wished she could disappear sometimes; just run away from it all. She always wanted to be a Grey Warden, but this was not how she imagined it being. They seemed to be spending most of their time dealing with other people's problems, without ever really solving any of their own. They would need to confront Marjolaine in Denerim at some point; just one more thing on their to-do list.

More darkspawn had also attacked them; this far south they seemed to be everywhere. Their entire group was weary from all the fighting. They were keeping one Warden awake at all times, which meant Alistair, Neri and Arietta were exhausted, especially as they were being attacked every few hours by the monsters. By the time they reached Haven they were all feeling groggy and irritable; a dangerous combination when fighting their way through an ancient mountain temple.

They had found Haven without too much difficulty. The man that greeted them didn't seem very keen for them to linger. She hadn't let that put her off though, as Genitivi and the Ashes were too important. Sten had confronted her, not understanding how this helped them at all. She had explained as best she could, telling him they would never defeat the Blight without powerful political allies. He finally relented and they had continued through the village. It became clear very quickly how messed up Haven was; there was blood in the back room of the local store, and the town's people attacked them.

They found Genitivi with a broken leg in the side room of Haven's bizarre Chantry. With his help they had reached the temple, from there they had left him to go exploring in search of the Urn. They battled their way through cultists that believed Andraste had returned in the form of a high dragon. Their leader Kolgrim had even asked her to defile the Ashes so that this new Andraste could realise her new form. It was all completely absurd and everyone was pretty beat up; Alistair had been thrown into a wall; smacking his head, Zevran had twisted his ankle, Leliana had taken an arrow to her shoulder and Arietta had a few cracked ribs from Kolgrim's battleaxe smashing into her side.

With them all dead they had finally climbed to the mountain peak.

The wind howled around her, blowing her brown waves over her face. The final surprise came soaring over them as they walked across the peak. They all gasped as it roared overhead, its huge wings flapping gracefully. The high dragon landed on ledge far away from them, her skin shimmering as the afternoon sun reflected off her purple scales. She rested her head and closed her eyes, and they all let out a collective sigh of relief that they wouldn't need to fight that today too.

They headed across the land bridge, treading carefully on the icy ground, to the second peak on the other side. Ari was breathless and every bone in her body ached. She wanted nothing more than to just lie down in a nice comfy bed back in Highever, curled up with Blossom with the birds singing outside her window.

_GWOOOOOOONG _came the very loud echo of something across the mountainside.

They all turned to see Neri standing by the gong as she flashed them a smile. Ari's eyes bulged, realising what the elf had done. That gong summoned the dragon... Sure enough the beast roared as it flew toward their group.

"Why the fuck did you hit that!?" Arietta screamed.

Neri shrugged. "Practice."

"For what!?"

"For old Archie!" Neri said as she leapt behind a rock just before the dragon came crashing down onto the ground behind her.

_Damn it Neri._

"Alistair, Sten take point, Neri protect them!" She drew her bow and dived behind the rock with Neri. "Wynne, keep everyone alive. Morrigan, freeze its legs. Zevran, see if poison works."

She turned to look at Neri. "We're exhausted... That was the stupidest thing-"

"Right, because we're going to be wide awake and full of energy after fighting our way through the entire _darkspawn horde_ to kill the Archdemon." Neri drawled.

Arietta frowned. The elf had a point. But she could have given them some damn warning! And if they died here fighting this dragon then none of them would reach the Archdemon.

She fired arrows at the dragon's eyes, it spat fire right at their rock but Neri's barrier shimmered and stopped the flames. Alistair and Sten were being knocked about by the dragon's legs as it stomped around.

She glanced back at Neri. "Can you throw the dragon around?"

"She's pretty big..." The elf said shrugging.

"So your magic is useless then?" She rolled her eyes at her. "_Wonderful_."

The elf's ears flicked back and she frowned, looking hurt. _Good._ This was her bloody idea, another poor decision, one that could have dire consequences for all of them.

Ari slammed her fist into the stone. "If anybody gets hurt because of _you_. I swear..."

She shook her head then took a deep breath and jumped out from the rock and let fly more arrows.

_Use your anger, focus it on your target, pup_. She heard her father's voice in her head.

The ground shook as the dragon stomped its feet again; the beast inhaled, about to send a blast of flame across the mountaintop. Ari glanced across the peak and saw Zevran dazed and struggling to get into cover, she ran at him just as the fire erupted out of the dragon's mouth and tackled him to the floor. Neri's barrier shimmered around them, taking the brunt of the flames.

He sighed contently "Ah, what a beautiful sight on top of me." He said with a laugh.

She rolled her eyes. "Just returning the favour."

She grimaced as she stood back up, her rib complaining. The dragon roared, deafening them all.

"Aim for its head!" She ordered. It was their only chance at killing it.

"That is easier said than done!" Sten shouted.

"And he's the tall one." Complained Alistair.

Leliana fired an arrow up its nostril and the dragon raged, fire exploding out its mouth as its tail swept around, knocking most of their group to the floor. The dragon kicked Alistair as it launched back into the air, sending him flying backward. He crashed down on the edge of the cliff, sliding across the icy floor. Ari's heart was in her throat, stopping her from crying out. Instead she raced toward him and grabbed his hand just as he skidded over the edge. She struggled desperately to pull him back up, her broken ribs not helping at all as pain flared through her chest.

His fingers started to slip through her own.

"Alistair!" She cried.

He was scrabbling at the rocks, trying to hold on but his heavy boots were slipping on the ice. She slipped forward, about to fall off the cliff with him.

_No, no, no._

Suddenly Sten was there, pulling them both up.

She threw herself into Alistair's arms, refusing to let go.

"_Maker_." He breathed against her neck.

"Warden..." Sten said, he sounded disturbed.

She looked at him and his eyes were wide, staring at something behind her.

She pulled herself from Alistair and turned to see what he was looking at. Her jaw fell open as she took in the scene in front of her.

Half of the mountainside was floating in the air; a whirlwind of stones, boulders and rocks spinning in the wind as they slammed into the dragon. A particularly large rock smashed into the dragon's jaw with a loud crack sending blood splattering onto the snowy ground. The dragon batted its wings in an attempt to escape the onslaught but they were twisted and snapped from the rockstorm surrounding her.

And in front of her, standing amidst the chaos howling around her was Neri. Her hair was a wild storm of blonde, raging as the wind ripped through her. She swung her arm forward, a massive boulder slamming into the dragons snout, dazing it. The dragon shook, its mouth opened and molten liquid flooded out, but the torrent of flame crashed into Neri's barrier, pouring over and around it. Neri clapped her hands together and the dragon's mouth slammed shut causing smoke to pour out its nose at her unfinished attack.

The dragon shook violently trying to open its mouth again but Neri lifted her arms into the air then slammed them back down, the dragon dropped to the floor, its head smacking into the icy ground with a thud. The boulders all dropped to the ground; rumbling as they tumbled down the cliffs. Neri's shoulders sagged as she dragged herself forward. She drew her sword; one she had found in the ruins, a lightweight thing of white silver with blue runes cast into it.

She stood over the dragon's head and glanced over at Arietta with a grim look on her face. Her cloak billowed around her and her golden curls fluttered in the wind as she turned back to look at the dragon, lifting her arms up before plunging her sword deep into the dragon's skull.

They all stood on the scorched ground of the mountain peak in silence as the wind whistled around them. Neri pulled the sword out of the dragon's head and stalked over to them, throwing the sword down at Arietta's feet.

"My magic is **not** useless." She spat as she pushed past them toward the temple.

Arietta's mouth hung open; she felt like she'd just been slapped. "Hey!" She shouted after the elf.

Neri turned to face her. "What!? You going to give me some big speech now? You're so very good at them after all," she snarled.

Ari's brows crashed together into a glare. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you can talk your way out of any situation, unless you're unconscious!" She flung her arms in the air. "You've been giving me shit ever since the Dalish. You were _dying_. I didn't have a choice."

Arietta shook her head. "There's always a choice! You could have parleyed! Zathrian was right there, was he not?"

"I didn't know that at the bloody time. Sorry for thinking your life was more important than some fucking werewolves!" She crossed her arms and scowled at her.

"I told you not to kill them. You didn't even try." Arietta hissed.

"Stop blaming me when it's yourself you're pissed at. _You_ got bit. _You_ weren't able to lead and talk to them. That is not _my_ fault. I saved your fucking life and you haven't even thanked me!"

"I..." Her words faltered.

"Yeah, thought so." Neri said with a disgusted snort as she folded her arms.

Neri was right. She had been blaming the elf this entire time; using the elf as a scapegoat when it was herself she was angry with. But the werewolf attack wasn't anyone's fault, it was an unfortunate accident; one nobody had any control over. She never should have ignored or mistreated Neri and she should have thanked her for saving her life she realised; that was the most out of character thing Arietta had ever done.

Drawing the dragon's attention however, had been deliberate. Neri nearly got them all killed and that was all because of Neria's carefree, impulsive attitude.

She took a deep breath, her anger gone. "Okay, I'm sorry I blamed you, the werewolf attack was out of our control and you did your best in a shitty situation and I should have thanked you for saving my life."

The elf looked ready to interrupt but Arietta held up her hand and continued. "That doesn't excuse what you just did though. Drawing that dragon into battle while we were all weak was impulsive and reckless. What if we all died, who would stop the Blight then?"

Neria opened and closed her mouth a few times before frowning; realising how foolish she'd also been.

"So we're both tits." Neria shrugged. "Magic is all I have Arietta, without it I am nothing. To hear you call it useless…" She trailed off.

"It's not all you have Neri." Arietta stroked the elf's arm.

Neria batted it away. "Isn't it?" She glared. "I'm not you, okay? I'm not little miss perfect. I can't do the whole charming, silver-tongued diplomacy thing. I don't have the fucking patience for it." She laughed bitterly and looked down at the ground. "I'm not particularly good at anything, _except_ magic." When she looked back up there was a fire in her eyes the likes of which Arietta had never seen before. "So don't you **dare** call it useless."

Arietta exhaled deeply. "I'm not perfect Neria. I try to save lives, to help people… I wanted to help the werewolves because there's been so much death recently. I've had enough of it all; for once I just wanted things to go well. I'm sorry I called your magic useless, it most certainly is not. You're the most incredible mage I've ever met."

Neria's lips twitched as she tried not to smile. "That's not saying much." She folded her arms. "You've only met Wynne, Morrigan, myself and a handful of Circle mages."

Ari shook her head exasperated. "Well, none of them could do what you just did; you hit the dragon over the head with half the damn mountain!" She started to chuckle.

"It's true, your magic is quite remarkable," Wynne added.

"_And_..." Neria prompted.

Arietta laughed as she rolled her eyes. "_And_ you're the bravest, most loyal friend I've ever had."

Neri snorted and tried to look offended but it didn't really work. "Oh, so now I'm a dog?"

"You're certainly as talkative as one." She stuck her tongue out at her. "Seriously though, I wouldn't be here without you."

"That's more like it." Neria said as her face broke into a grin.

Arietta let out a sigh; glad that they had cleared the air. "Friends again?"

The elf smirked but nodded. "Friends."

They hugged each other briefly before pulling away and clearing their throats.

"Alright. We need to find that Urn," Ari said looking around at the others.

* * *

**A/N:** How explicit or implicit do we like our smut? Because it's fast approaching that time. Let me know!


	15. Closure

******A/N: **Bioware's property; I'm just trespassing.

Thank you ElyssaCousland for reading this!

[Lots of smut toward the end.]

* * *

**Closure.**

Zevran and Neria remained outside with Sten to strip the high dragon for parts; the assassin wanted to make armour from its scales, and Arietta was sure the mage was too exhausted to carry on after killing the damn thing all by herself.

Arietta pushed open the doors to the temple and strolled forward. A man shimmered into view and greeted them. He informed them that he was the Guardian of the Urn and this temple. He explained that they would need to pass the Gauntlet to reach the Ashes and he needed to ask her a question before they could begin.

"I am ready, ask your question Guardian." Arietta said.

"I see the path that led you here was not easy. There is suffering in your past: your suffering and the suffering of others. You abandoned your father and mother, leaving them in the hands of Rendon Howe, knowing he would show no mercy. Do you think you failed your parents?" he asked.

For months after their deaths she did, and she had handled it poorly. She had covered up the pain and the hurt by distracting herself with the helping of others, but ignoring a wound such as that is foolish; it begins to fester and rot, until your entire body is corrupted and sick with guilt and grief. She realised now that she needed to admit how hurt she was, accept the past and move on. She did everything in her power to save her parents but in the end it hadn't been enough, but that wasn't her fault and dying alongside them would have accomplished nothing.

"No. I did everything I could; staying would only have led to my death too."

The Guardian questioned the other members of her group before letting them pass into the temple; they had then answered a series of riddles before the next set of doors opened to reveal her father.

"My dearest child." Bryce Cousland smiled at her.

"Father?" She gasped.

"You know that I am gone and all your prayers and wishes will not bring me back." He smiled sadly.

Her shoulders sagged at the realisation that he was just an echo; another spirit with a message.

"No more must you grieve my girl. Take the pain and the guilt, acknowledge it and let it go; just as we did before. It is time. You have such a long road ahead of you and you must be prepared and so I leave this in your hands." She took the amulet from him with trembling fingers. "I know you will do great things with it." He said as he faded from view.

She looked down at the amulet in her hand and for a fleeting second she thought she could see her mother and father smiling at her; and others too, long since dead. She nodded resolutely. She needed a clear head to stop the Blight; remaining in the past would do her no good. She needed to look forward.

The next room held spectres of themselves; mirrored versions from their pasts. Arietta's spectre was a jolly youthful teen with long brown hair flowing down her back, Alistair's was an unhappy man in Templar armour.

Arietta's spectre ran at her with her daggers drawn, Arietta rolled her eyes at her brash attack and dodged easily. She kicked out with her leg and the spectre fell to the floor, Arietta slammed her daggers into its back and it disappeared. She didn't think it was a coincidence that they had to fight these apparitions, it was another test to see if they could overcome their pasts.

She glanced around to see Alistair slamming his shield into the youthful Templar. Alistair looked a monster in Cailan's armour and towered over the young Templar. In a matter of minutes the Templar crumpled to the floor and faded away. The others were experiencing similar battles; it was easy fighting these spectres because their younger selves were weak compared to their skill level now. This was more of a psychological test; seeing your past selves was supposed to trip you up and make the fight more difficult.

Seeing how happy her spectre had been didn't faze her though, her past self had yet to live through all the pain of the next few years, whereas Arietta was on the other side of it; able to finally move on.

The next room held a rather complex stepping stone puzzle that required all of them working together to get across, but they worked as a team and finally figured it out.

And then she stood staring at the flames just in front of her. The first step was always the hardest; her first step out of Highever as a child had been one of excitement and trepidation, the thrill of seeing the outside world for the first time mixed with the fear of the unknown. The first step out the pantry exit, as her father lay dying, had been the most difficult step she had ever taken; grief and pain weighed heavy on her shoulders, anchoring her to the floor.

But this next step meant she needed to leave everything behind her. She knew she had to do it; she wanted to, but actually taking that step was harder than she ever thought it would be. She took a deep breath and Alistair moved to stand beside her. He reached down and took her hand in his and gave her a smile. That was all she needed; the final push.

They stepped into the flames and retrieved the Ashes.

* * *

She took the stairs two at a time, rushing through the doors of Redcliffe castle and spinning around the corner into the main hall. She slammed into someone and nearly knocked them off their feet.

"I'm so-" She stopped mid-sentence realising who it was. He looked so different with a thick beard and long hair. She made a strange whimpering noise before bursting into tears and hugging him.

"_Etta_." Her brother whispered against her neck. She squeezed him tighter as the tears fell down her cheeks. "It's good to see you, sis." Fergus said.

"I thought-" She took a shaky breath. "I thought you were dead!"

"It was a close thing." He exhaled. "We can catch up shortly; Teagan has been ripping out his hair waiting for your return." His lips turned up into a smile but it didn't reach his eyes. His face looked haunted, she realised and his eyes were dark and sad. _He knows._ Teagan must have told him.

"I-okay." She said reluctantly.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." He kissed her forehead and took his leave.

* * *

Arl Eamon was awake and well; the Ashes had been successful. Arietta had left Teagan to fill the poor man in. There was a lot to tell him, and similarly Arietta needed to speak to her brother about… _everything_. She found him in the study with Blossom. Fergus was crouched down, scratching her mabari's chin as Blossom wagged her tail furiously.

"You look good, girl." Fergus said to Blossom.

Arietta leant against the doorway and started to smirk. "What about me, Gus?" She teased.

He looked up at her and laughed. "Oh you are rotten. You haven't called me that since-"

"The Great Hairscape." They said in unison before bursting into a fit of laughter.

They'd only been 12 and 15 at the time; they were being dragged to some boring dinner, and neither of them wanted to go because the circus was in town. Fergus hatched a plan, deciding to shave his head straight down the middle, so their parents would be too embarrassed to take him. Arietta had joined in, shaving the front half of her hair off entirely. She looked completely ridiculous, which was the point, of course. With their new appearances, Fergus decided they looked no different than the circus clowns, so they decided to take their plan one step further and sneak out the castle to join the circus.

They reached the clowns without much trouble; their big tent was visible from almost every street in Highever, perched atop the hill overlooking the sea. They ran toward it together, with Blossom at their heel; she was just a pup then, barely a year old.

_"And who are you menna be?" _a clown asked as he rested his hands on his hips and peered down at them through his big red hair.

_"This is Gus, and I'm Etta," s_he said_. _Fergus quirked his eyebrow; she elbowed him and he went along with it_._

_"We're here to join the circus!" _Her brother exclaimed.

The clown eyed them curiously. "_That so? What do you do then?"_

_"We err..." _Fergus hesitated_._

_"We can sing and dance!" _She explained_._

The clown guffawed. "_If I wanted singers or dancers I'd have started a theatre. What else you do?"_

_"I can fight anything!" _Fergus said enthusiastically.

_"Awfully small, aren't yah?" _The clown questioned.

Fergus folded his arms_. "No. You're just big."_

The clown's bright red eyebrows drew together to form one long brow. "_Aren't _you_ a little _young_?"_

_"You're just old." _Fergus countered_._

_"I am, got a better head o' hair than you though boy." _He let out a deep booming laugh as he mussed Fergus' hair.

Fergus looked at the ground and shuffled his feet._ "I shaved it."_

The clown laughed loudly again_. "Why'd yah do that?"_

_"I didn't want to go to dinner," _he admitted.

_"Fergus! I mean Gus..." _Arietta squeaked.

The clown rubbed his chin._ "I see. And what sort o' dinner would that be then?"_

_"Some boring nobles came to town. They always force us to go."_

_"Shut up dummy," _she said to her brother. He was ruining it.

_"Hold on a moment." _The clown walked over to another clown; one with bright blue hair. He came back over with a huge grin on his face._ "Alright, you can join the circus, but only for tonight. Let's find you some outfits."_

_"You look good, girl." _Fergus said to Blossom, who was now dressed in a pretty pink dress with fluffy white boots and a pink ribbon tied around her head.

_"What about me, Gus?" _Arietta asked as she spun around in a puffy blue dress.

He grinned at her._ "You look great, Etta."_

They had helped with the show, collecting donations mostly, going around each row asking for coin. Ari had been shocked when her father dropped a coin into her bowl; somehow he had found them. He didn't look mad though, just relieved to see her.

_"Shouldn't you carry on collecting donations miss?" _He had smiled at her.

They both laughed at the memory.

"Father gave us quite the lecture when he finally dragged us home after the show." Fergus chuckled.

"He did. I was cleaning pots for a month!"

Fergus snorted and stood back up. "You think that was bad? I wasn't allowed in the yard to train for three."

Their laughter trailed off; both realising how much had changed since then.

"I miss them." Arietta scowled.

"Yeah, me too; I still can't believe they're gone." He sighed. "I was the one marching off to war. I never thought..." He frowned down at the stone floor.

She walked forward and hugged him. "I'm so sorry about Oren and Oriana."

When he pulled away she could see tears in his eyes. "Did they suffer?" he asked quietly.

She cupped his face. "It was quick; too quick for me to save them."

They hugged again, just holding each other as the silence hung between them.

He pulled back and wiped his nose. "And now you're a Grey Warden." A weary smile played on his lips.

"Yeah, it's certainly been interesting so far, and what happened to you? I looked for you at Ostagar…"

"We got held up in the Wilds, and by the time we made it back to Ostagar the battle was over, nobody was left. We fled to Lothering and met up with a lot of other soldiers, they said they managed to escape because of some crazy mage putting a barrier up... Then the darkspawn came again. I was badly hurt but one of my men carried me to safety. Everything after was a rush of moving around the countryside trying to outrun the horde. Once I recovered enough I brought them all here."

She smiled at him, "that crazy mage was Neri; she's a Warden too."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Remind me to thank her then." Arietta nodded. "Teagan told me everything you did, saving the village, saving Connor; and now you've cured Arl Eamon." His eyes were bursting with pride. "I always knew you'd do great things."

Her hands were restless at her sides. "Keeping busy helped with… everything."

He squeezed her shoulder. "I want to take it back," he said suddenly. She cocked her head to the side and he went on to explain. "Highever, I mean."

Her eyebrows shot up and she gasped.

"Teagan told me that Howe has gone to Denerim, leaving only a token force at the castle," Fergus explained.

She took a step back and chewed on her lip. It shouldn't have surprised her that he would want to do this. Fergus hadn't been there when it was attacked and he'd only recently found out about it all; he needed closure. But she already _had_ closure and going back there wouldn't bring their parents back.

"Fergus…"

"We know the castle better than anyone; we can sneak in, take out the men and secure it, Teagan even offered me some of his knights."

It would work; they could do it easily, especially if they had someone like Neri with them to help. But just because they _could_, didn't mean they _should_. It was just a building now; a building they didn't have the men to hold or the time to take. She was a Grey Warden and needed to think logically not emotionally.

"Fergus, I want our home back just as much as you do, but I can't help you do this. I'm a Grey Warden now; getting these treaties and stopping the Blight is the most important thing right now. That castle gains us nothing; the men once loyal to us are dead or fled, the people we cared about are all gone; Howe took no prisoners and we cleared out the vault before leaving; there is nothing of value worth retaking. There is nothing for me there and there's nothing there for you either; going there and killing some of Howe's guards will not bring our parents back, or make you feel any better. I promise you once I take down Loghain, Howe will pay and Highever will be returned to us. You'll become Teyrn."

He frowned at her. "I didn't think you would oppose this idea so strongly…"

She smiled sadly at him. "If you had found me a month ago I may not have, but I'm different now, I have to focus on the Blight. If you still want to take the castle back, I won't stop you, but I can't help you either. I'll be leaving soon, for Orzammar, and it would be nice to know you won't be putting yourself in harm's way while I'm gone."

He folded his arms and tensed up. "There's really no convincing you?"

She sighed. "No, there's really not."

He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled. "I won't leave while you are away, but I _will_ talk to Arl Eamon and Bann Teagan about this some more."

She nodded.

* * *

The lake shimmered below her; the moon reflected perfectly in the crystal calm waters. The air was still and crisp and the night's sky was a dazzling display of twinkling lights and swirls of colour. She breathed it all in with a smile on her face.

She stood on the balcony of her chambers with a glass of wine in her right hand and her left arm was linked with Alistair's. He was wearing a gorgeous, fitted, velvet doublet of gold and blue. She too had changed into fancier clothes, opting for one of Isolde's long silver silk gowns. Her hair fell in a braid down her back as she leant her head against Alistair's shoulder.

She had spoken with her brother for some time before being pulled away from him to talk with Arl Eamon, who had thanked her for saving not only his life but the lives of his wife and son and for protecting the village. They had discussed their plans; Eamon thought it best to organise a Landsmeet to end the civil war threatening to rip Ferelden apart before turning their attention to the Blight. He had also suggested that Alistair be crowned King when it was all over, and to her surprise, Alistair hadn't been particularly shocked by that idea, or opposed to it.

She peered up at him as he stared out into the lake; he looked down at her when he saw her looking and smiled. "Do you want to be King?" She asked.

He took a deep breath and stared out at the lake again. "I'm willing to do it, if Eamon thinks it's for the best."

She lifted her head and looked at him properly. "You told me you didn't want to be King." She cocked her head to the side. "What changed your mind?"

He turned to look at her and a smile tugged at his lips. "Honestly?" Arietta nodded her head. "Neri did." Both her eyebrows leapt up at that. He continued. "When we were at Ostagar, she brought it up and convinced me to consider it." He shrugged.

She laughed a little. "She must have a smoother tongue than she lets on."

Arietta would need to thank the elf, she was full of surprises.

"I think she's learnt a lot from _you,_ dear." Alistair nudged her playfully and she grinned at him.

"I think you'd be a good King," she said more seriously.

He gave her a crooked smile. "I'd be better with you at my side."

She gasped and was about to speak but he put a finger to her lips. "I love you and I can't imagine my life without you at my side, I don't want to. When that werewolf bit you…" He took a shaky breath and she squeezed his hand. "It destroyed me. _Maker_, if anything were to happen to you…" He squeezed his eyes shut.

Arietta cupped his face and he opened his eyes to stare down at her, she gave him a loving smile. "I love you too, Alistair." She stroked his cheek with her thumb. "When you went off to fight Flemeth, I was a mess, and then you came back late and I feared the worst." She swallowed hard.

He smiled playfully at her. "Well, I guess from now on we should just stay closer together, hmm?" His hand snaked around her waist and pulled her into him.

Her entire body tingled at his touch, like electricity was racing through her, straight to the heat between her legs.

She gave him an impish smile. "The closer the better." She ran a hand up his chest.

He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. She licked her lips and he leant down to kiss her; his lips closed over her mouth gently and she moaned into his mouth.

Her heart was fluttering wildly and she was gasping for breath when they pulled apart. He cupped her face with both his hands and stared down at her.

"Maker's Breath, but you're beautiful. I am a lucky man," he whispered.

She flashed him a smile and kissed him again; more passionate this time, her hands tugged on his hair pulling him closer to deepen their kiss. His hands roamed over her body and squeezed her ass making her moan. He lifted her up and placed her on the balcony wall as he kissed his way down her neck. She spread her legs so he could stand between them; as he kissed her lips again, she opened her mouth to him and their tongues swirled together. His cock was pressed against her stomach and her own desire was growing into an insistent throbbing. They pulled away again and despite the cold air she could feel the flush on her skin.

She smiled and ran a finger lightly over the tent in his breeches; his cock twitched beneath her finger and Alistair groaned, "Maker."

"Try to remember my name, love." She giggled.

He leant down to kiss her again but their noses knocked into one another.

"Oww," she laughed.

"Let's try that again," he said awkwardly as he cupped her face.

His lips found hers and she hummed into his mouth. He fumbled with the sleeves of her dress and finally moved the fabric down enough for a breast to bounce free. He broke their kiss and looked down at her and groaned at the sight of her perky breast. Tentatively, he lifted his hand to massage it; eliciting a gasp from her. She pulled her dress down further and her other breast broke free.

They continued to kiss as their hands explored one another. Arietta felt her way up his washer-board abs and across his broad shoulders, then down his back as one of his hands massaged her breasts while the other untied her braid. He gasped as she slid her hand up his doublet and up his muscled stomach. He groaned and started to kiss the side of her lip, her jaw, her neck; slowly moving down to her breasts. She arched her back into him as he took a nipple in his mouth and then screamed as she started to fall off the balcony. Alistair wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him.

They both laughed awkwardly. "Perhaps we should move to the bedroom, my dear?" Alistair asked.

She giggled and nodded her head. In one quick motion he lifted her up and carried her to the bed. He placed her down softly and lit a few candles while she sat nervously on the covers. She rubbed her palms on her dress and fiddled with her hair as he walked back over and sat beside her. She could tell he was nervous too; his hands had a slight tremor and his shoulders were tense.

She pulled him to sit next to her so his back was against the headboard then she straddled him. His breathing was ragged as she leant down to kiss him slowly as she buried a hand in his hair. He moaned softly against her and began to relax. His hand stroked up her thigh; pushing the fabric of her dress out the way while the other squeezed and tugged on her nipple. Their kissing became more desperate and her hips started to rock back and forth over the hardness in his trousers.

He lifted up her dress but it got stuck around her head as he tried to remove it; she laughed and helped him tug it off. Alistair drank her in with a moan, and their lips crashed together again. She groaned into his mouth as he ran his hands up the bare skin of her back and she continued to rock into him. The velvet of his doublet felt so good against her sensitive skin. He fumbled with the fastenings of his doublet and finally shrugged out of it. Arietta began unbuttoning his undershirt; she could feel his chest hair beneath her fingers and she quickened her pace to remove it. Finally it was off and her bare skin pressed against his as she deepened their kiss. Slowly she moved her hand down to unfasten his breeches.

He pulled away gasping for breath and looked at her. "Are you sure? Is this too fast?"

"Alistair," she breathed, "I want to spend the night with you."

He smiled and helped her unfasten his breeches, he pushed them and his smalls down and his cock sprang out; Arietta had to bite down on her lip to stop from moaning loudly.

She slid off his lap so he could kick his trousers off. She lay on her back and he slowly kissed his way up her body, starting at her toes and moving up her calves; he kissed her thighs then her navel, before his tongue found her hard nipples and circled them once more. Her hips bucked up against him, and his cock stirred against her stomach. She ran a finger up it and Alistair groaned against her breasts. Gently she took his cock in her hand and began to stroke, making him shudder against her. His breathing became even more ragged as she sped up her strokes. He looked up at her with black eyes, and her entire body quivered under his gaze.

He kissed his way back down her body and her hands were forced to stroke his hair instead. He kissed her navel again, then the outside of her thighs, then the inside. Very carefully he pulled her panties down and he groaned as the light brown hair between her legs became visible. He pulled her panties down the rest of her legs and they both stared at each other for a moment. He was gorgeous, every inch of him.

"I love you," she whispered.

He moved over her again and kissed her as his hand pushed through her folds. He gasped at her wetness and she groaned into his mouth. She pushed her hips up into his hand as he ran his fingers up and down her slit.

"There," she gasped as his fingers found a sweet spot at the top of her sex. He circled the throbbing nub and she whimpered against him.

"Please," she breathed. He shifted position, his cock pressing on her folds. She used her hand to guide him down to her entrance and he pushed his cock into her. Her hands dug into his back as he filled and stretched her.

He paused. "Am I hurting you?"

"Don't stop," she moaned.

With that he pulled out then thrust back in as her hips rose to greet him.

Their movements became more frenzied and their pace quickened. He groaned as his cock slipped out of her but she grabbed it and guided it back in. Her entire body was trembling and she could feel her muscles tightening around his cock with each desperate thrust.

Her orgasm exploded through her, and she cried out his name. She convulsed against him, then he came with a grunt as his seed poured into her.

The world came back into focus and she stroked Alistair's hair. She hummed at the feel of his lips on her neck, as he kissed her and whispered, "I love you."

Very slowly he pulled out of her and she sucked in air through her teeth. "There's blood, I'm so sorry," he fretted.

She sat up and looked at the drops on the covers. She felt sore but it was a good kind of sore. "Alistair it's fine, I'm okay. That was incredible." She smiled.

He seemed to calm down a little and a smile tugged at his lips, "Yes it was. Maker, I love you so much."

She pulled him back to her side and he lay down next to her. She snuggled up against him and fell asleep with her head resting on his chest, listening to his beating heart.


End file.
